American Idol Season 8Kansas City, Mo. Auditions

Day 2 of Season 8 and we're still liking Idol. David Cook should be liking it, too, as the first hour of the show seemed to be a love letter to him. Yes, we know Kansas City is the most recent Idol's hometown, but we've never seen Idol give so much face time to a former contestant. Of course, they have a stake in Cook's success, so if they sold just one more CD through all the exposure they gave Cook Wednesday night it's just a little more pocket change for 19 Entertainment.

However, we were either really tired and/or these two-hour sessions are just too long, because we started losing it after about 90 minutes and had to keep rewinding the DVR. There were a few auditioners whose voices we liked quite a bit and a couple whose stories made us cry. But then what would American Idol be without emotional manipulation?

Before we even get to the auditions, Jason Castro greets Paula Abdul as she enters the venue and tells her he is there to support his brother, who is trying out. It's no secret that we weren't a big fan of Jason's last season -- with the exception of his "Hallelujah" and "Over the Rainbow" performances, which were outstanding -- and the last thing we want is to sit through another Idol season with another singing Castro.

But something worse than another singing Castro starts the evening, and that is 19-year-old waitress Chelsea Marquardt's Munchkin-like rendition of Nilsson's "I Can’t Live." She can't live? It made us want to commit suicide. She is a cutie, though, and Kara DioGuardi and Paula try to salvage the nastiness of Simon Cowell's "You sounded like what a cat that jumped off the Empire State Building would sound like right before it hit the ground" assessment. The ladies told her she is pretty but that singing is just not for her. Sadly, if she didn't realize that already, she also needs to see an ear specialist. In fact, she leaves the audition room saying her problem was that she picked the wrong song. Riiiiiiiight.

Watch video of Chelsea Marquardt

Ashley Anderson an attractive, tall and lanky singer also has some smarts. Her clever song selection was off Leona Lewis' CD. Lewis is not only a Simon Cowell protege, the song was also (not) coincidentially cowritten by Cowell. Ashley starts off by screwing up the lyrics to "Footprints in the Sand," singing it as footsteps. Simon corrects her, she restarts and gets it right, but stumbles with the same word later on. Because she catches herself the second time, the gaffe is amusing and sweet rather than lethal. Her voice is nothing special, but her saavy song selection gets her through to Hollywood.

Watch video of Ashley Anderson

Casey Carlson is really cute with an elfin face. Simon likes her vibe. She sings Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles" and Kara tells her she feels there's a whole package. We think package is the operative word here, because Casey's singing, though adequate, is not memorable or outstanding. But with studio enhancement and her looks, she can be packaged into a pop star. It'll be interesting to see whether her voice will carry her past Hollywood week.

Watch video of Casey Carlson

One of the most deluded tryouts from Kansas City was Brian Hettler, who tells us he has an operatically trained voice, but dropped out of school. He has come to the auditions to reclaim his musical destiny. Whenever an auditioner starts out by telling you how great he or she is, you just know that they are going to suck, and Brian did not disappoint in that area. He takes on Aretha Franklin's "Think," which is exactly what he should have done before coming down to audition. He is stunned when Simon tells him everything was wrong, seriously wrong. He then tries to prove he sounds just like Josh Groban. What a surprise! He doesn't. The cameras stalk him outside the audition room. He turns to them and says, "If you're expecting me to cry on camera, don't even try."

Watch video of Brian Hettler

After the commercial break, Ryan Seacrest "runs into" David Cook's mother and stepfather on the street. Another plug for their current Idol king.

Auditioner Von Smith looks natty is his hat and tells us he is not afraid to just be who he is. Those are always suspicious words on Idol. Could go either way. He delivers a loud -- and to our mind -- somewhat unsettling version of "Over the Rainbow." He clearly has a powerful voice, it's what he does with it that's a bit scary. He certainly didn't sing the song in any traditional way and it's unclear from the clip if he can sing in a traditional way. We suspect he can, because Randy Jackson tells him he has a "dope" voice and he receives, much to our surprise, four yesses.

Watch video of Von Smith

One thing you can say about the Castro family is that they take the whole Idol thing very casually. Jason never seemed very invested in practicing or learning lyrics and could barely answer an interview question without screwing up. Michael Castro decided to become a singer 20 days prior to the tryout. He gives a fairly decent performance of Gavin DeGraw's "In Love With a Girl," but it's somewhat galling to see him put through to Hollywood because he is, as Kara says, "ballsy" and not because he possesses a terrific voice (i.e. Simon judges his performance as "goodish"). But put through he is, by all four.

Watch video of Michael Castro

Back from another commercial break, it's time for another bizarro contestant. Cue yellow-suited Vaughn English singing something about "Do you want a banana." They don't even bother showing us a judging segment on him.

Welder Matt Breitzke's looks fit his profession. He's a big guy with a shaved head and goatee. He's also very likable and real. When asked why this change of career, he explains that though he is a bar singer, he has a family to support and just couldn't run off to pursue his singing. He gives a nice rendition of Bill Withers "Ain't No Sunshine" and easily makes it past Kara, Paula and Simon, though Randy thinks he's just a bar singer. But he makes it to Hollywood and we think he was the best audition of the night so far.

Watch video of Matt Breitzke

Next, we suffer through 17-year-old Jasmine "Jazz" Joseph's caterwauling version of "Over the Rainbow." How many times are we going to hear this song sung weirdly tonight? This was bad weird as opposed to Von Smith's allegedly good weird. The producers don't even include any comments from the judges. They just show them staring at Jazz. She exits the room. She never should have entered.

Watch video of Jasmine "Jazz" Joseph

Jessica Furney cares for her 93-year-old grandmother, who can barely hear anymore. Jessica doesn't have a pop (or rock) star appearance, she is actually a bit bookish and nerdy looking. But her big voice delivers Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby" with ease. Hopefully, the Idol wizards can do one of their magical makeovers on her, in the way they transformed Clay Aiken and even David Cook, to make her more marketable. At the least she'll get her shot during Hollywood week.

Watch video of Jessica Furney

Asia McClain (24) and India Morrison (22) are sisters -- obviously their mom liked location names -- who come in to rap for the judges. It is clear that India is the one with the talent and big sister Asia is there for support. Asia is offkey and not very good in her individual audition, while India sails through without a problem. The judges are really impressed with Asia's dedication to her younger sibling, with Simon even remarking that he'd like a sister like her. They exit the audition with a gold ticket for India.

Watch video of Asia McClain and India Morrison

Next up are best friends Jamar Rogers, a 26-year-old bartender from Milwaukee and Danny Gokey, 28, a music teacher from the same city. Jamar goes first and does a big-voice, over-the-top version of the Mamas and Papas' "California Dreaming." He has a decent voice, but the performance is a bit pretentious. Paula says it was good but a bit loud and pitchy, while Kara and Randy think it was over the top. Simon declares it corny but good and Jamar makes it through.

Watch video of Jamar Rogers

Now it's best friend Danny's turn and the producers have been plugging all night that Danny has a tragic story. He does. His wife, Sophia, succumbed to congenital heart disease just four weeks prior to the audition. The producers milk everything they can from the tale and have us in tears. We're rooting for Danny before a note escapes his throat. But he doesn't need our help. His version of Marvin Gaye's "Heard It Through the Grapevine," is soulful and wonderful. Randy calls him "one of the best we've seen" and he becomes our favorite of the night. Interestingly, the producers didn't show any footage of Danny telling his tragic story in front of the judges. It made his success at the audition that much more genuine.

Watch video of Danny Gokey

Simon, of course, screws up the name of Anoop Desai, 21, a student from Chapel Hill, N.C. He also tells him he looks kind of geeky, like he just came out of a meeting with Bill Gates. But his soulful rendition of Boyz II Men's "Thank You" is a pleasant surprise. Anoop tells Randy to call him Anoop-dog, and Randy loves it. We can see that nickname sticking with him if he makes it through Hollywood week.

Watch video of Anoop Desai

Ice-cream server Andrew Lang's performance is preceded by a gimmick, his own two-person cheerleading squad. The look on Simon's face was "this is stupid and annoying," and we agreed. Kara and Paula seemed charmed by it. Yuck. Lang then delivers an overly theatrical version of The Temptations' "My Girl." We think, "Andrew, don't quit your day job." Randy initially gives him a yes, but when Paula wants to hear something more, Andrew goes too over-the-top with "Ain't Too Proud to Beg," and Randy rescinds his "yes" vote. It's all downhill for Andrew after that. BTW Andrew, can we get a large cup of cheesecake and cake batter with Reese's Pieces, please?

Watch video of Andrew Lang

We really like 20-year-old band director Asa Barnes, who has an adorable 4-year-old daughter. He performs Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel," normally a sure ticket to dismissal. But he sang it well and without MJ affectations. The judges still weren't loving the song choice. Simon asked him why he chose that song, and Asa totally wins Cowell over when he unself-consciously says, "Because I like it." It was a nice sentimental moment outside the audition room with his little girl excited for him.

Watch video of Asa Barnes

We knew what type of contestant Michael Nicewonder was going to be as soon as he explained that he was wearing his elementary school singing medal around his neck. He also has really bad teeth. Instead of amused, we get real uncomfortable when Idol decides to exploit people with limited mental abilities. Supposedly related to Hank Williams Jr. (third cousin 1005 times removed?), Michael sings an original song that he says is about his mother. Of course it's dreadful. Pretending that he has a chance, Simon asks if he has a happier song. Michael sings one about his grandmother that sounds the same and is just as bad. The women try to be gentle, but it's almost painful to watch someone this pathetic being publicly ridiculed. Of course, he cries after he fails.

Watch video of Michael Nicewonder

We're on the fence about Dennis Brigham, 19, who does floor maintenance in Glen Carron, Ill. He gives a very enthusiastic and kinda entertaining performance of Chris Brown's "With You," but he's not really a great singer. Paula and Kara inexplicably say "yes," Simon says "no." It's up to Randy, and Dennis, after begging and pleading, obviously convinces Randy to give him another shot, because he greets his family with a gold ticket. Not a good idea.

Watch video of Dennis Brigham

"Janitorial engineer" (talk about euphemisms) Mia Conley waited so long for her audition she fell asleep in the holding room. She attempts Minnie Ripperton's "Loving You," and convinces everyone that they should let sleeping dogs janitorial engineers lie. Certainly her shrieky voice woke us up. She invoked this threat after being rejected, "You guys are wrong and God's gonna make you pay for it." Apparently we had to pay upfront by listening to her sing.

Watch video of Mia Conley

The evening, however, ended on a positive note with Lil Rounds, a customer service rep, who is also a tornado victim from Memphis. Lil and her family are still struggling and live in temporary housing. She enchants the judges with her rendition of Stevie Wonder's "All I Do." Kara and Paula declare their love for her, while Simon deems her fantastic. Randy calls her a cross between Fantasia and Mary J. Blige. The judges are astounded that she doesn't seem to realize just how good she is (shades of Melinda Doolittle). She has major potential and hopefully will sail through Hollywood week as well.

Watch video of Lil Rounds

REMEMBER EMILY WYNNE-HUGHES?

She was the contestant from Phoenix who was willing to sell out her bandmates for a shot at being the American Idol? TMZ reports that Emily is is smack in the middle of a DUI fiasco and she has been ordered to wear a SCRAM bracelet.

The whole thing is over an arrest back in July, when cops busted her for allegedly driving drunk in West Hollywood. Emily copped a plea to a lesser charge of reckless driving. In addition to the bracelet, Emily was placed on three years probation.

TMZ has learned there may be another hearing and the judge could back down on the SCRAM bracelet -- but for now the order stands. TMZ also found and posted pictures from MySpace of Emily baring her bottom, which, nt surprisingly, as has a tattoo on it.













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American Idol Season 8Phoenix Auditions

Well, we were prepared to be bored by this season and feared that the departure of Nigel Lythgoe and changes the remaining executive producers were making would be to the show's detriment. But we have to admit that Season 8's premiere episode was pretty satisfying overall. It moved at a fairly rapid pace and concentrated as much -- if not more -- on the good singers as the horrible ones. What about new judge Kara DioGuardi? We had no problem with her. The clips didn't feature that many comments from her, but there was nothing objectionable about her either.

Phoenix was the first audition city featured, incorrectly identified by Paula Abdul as the home of Jordin Sparks (that would be Glendale, Ariz., Paula). The temperature was hot, and so were many of the auditioners. Unfortunately Tuan Nguyen, a 20-year-old music student from Biloxi, Miss., was not one of them. A Michael Jackson wannabe, the most remarkable thing about Tuan was his giant afro which moved and swayed with his singing and dancing. He sang "The Way You Make Me Feel." He made us feel as if the show was off to a lousy start. Unlike Randy Jackson, we were unamused by his '60s hair.

Watch video of Tuan Nguyen

If the next auditioner looked familiar, it's because Emily Wynne-Hughes, with the multi-colored hair and bearing more tats on her arms than Carly Smithson, has been featured singing "Barracuda" innumerable times in "Idol" promo spots the past few weeks. A singer in the all-girl band Go Betty Go, she belted out her audition and was given the green light by all four judges after telling them if she received a golden ticket to Hollywood she'd be screwing her bandmates out of the European tour that they were about to depart on. But don't fall in love with Emily. According to Vote for the Worst, she failed to make the top 50 in Hollywood. But hey, she did make the European tour. That's her singing at The Orto Bar in Ljubljana, Slovenia.

Watch video of Emily Wynne-Hughes

Randy Madden (allegedly 28) fancies himself to be an untrained rocker who looks the role, but he resembles a burnt out 40-year-old in his Halloween rocker costume, complete with bandanna. Madden is a sensitive rocker -- way too sensitive. He cried when he started telling the judges how much auditioning meant to him. When Simon Cowell starts rolling his eyes before you even sing, you know you're in trouble. Madden did a mediocre job with Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" (a bad song to audition poorly with as it was David Cook's audition song as well). Simon found the rendition wimpy and cliched. And Madden didn't stop crying, when he was rejected and afterwards outside the audition room.

Watch video of Randy Madden

Next up was 16-year-old J.B. Ahfua, who has a nice sweet voice, but little personality. Overall he is bland. After he snags his ticket to Hollywood, surrounded by his father and brothers, he cries as he tells Ryan Seacrest how much this means to him, how it can change his family's whole world. His father, looking uncomfortable, tries to avoid the camera. It's one of those sensitive Idol moments, but being objective, we bet J.B. didn't make the cut for the Top 50. There just wasn't enough substance there.

Watch video of J.B. Ahfua

It's weird contestant time again with Michael Gurr, whose last name is an apt description for his singing style. He gives a gutteral reworking to Carrie Underwood's "Starts With Goodbye," and Simon and Paula tell him they didn't understand a word of it. Simon says he could have been singing in Bulgarian. Next, he takes on a song written by Kara with even worse results. Totally self-deluded, Gurr is beyond bad. He's sad, pathetic and not even mildly amusing. A total waste of time with zero entertainment value.

Watch video of Michael Gurr (At the end of the video. Sorry, it was the only version we could find)


At least the next loser contestant is funny. Aundre "Xray" Caraway was manic and couldn't stop moving around. He arrives with a guitar, but places it aside when he enters the audition room and never plays it for the judges. He sings and dances to his original song about cacti. Uh-huh. When he's rejected, he -- surprise! -- wants a second chance. His pleading only wins him a bouncer-escorted trip out of the audition room.

Watch video of Aundre "Xray" Caraway

Next up, a youngster so cute and giving, you know she's going to make it through before she even sings one note. We learn that 16-year-old Arianna Afsar started a singing group called Adopt-a-Grandfriend after she discovered that many senior and nursing home residents don't have anyone to visit them. Her group entertains and befriends the elderly in those places. All together now -- Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Arianna does a lot more justice to Corinne Bailey Rae's "Put Your Records On" than Antonella Barba ever did, but it's just one of those songs that doesn't song good to us unless we're listening to the original. No surprise, she is beloved by the judges and easily moves to the next round.

Watch video of Arianna Afsar

That's the end of Day 1 in Phoenix and Ryan tells us that nine others we didn't see made the cut as well.

Day 2 starts out with cashier Elijah Scarlett. His voice is so low, that Ryan and the judges think it's not real. But we've been there, done that last season with James Lewis. If you recall, he was the tour guide who had everyone in stitches with his version of "Let My People Go," pronouncing people as pipple. Elijah, like James, seems like a nice enough guy, born with a voice definitely not made for singing. He proves it by mostly talking his way through Barry White's "My First, My Last, My Everything." When he finishes, Simon asks him, "Have you ever seen this show?" and eventually tells him it was like something out of a horror movie. You can nearly see the idea lightbulb go on over Paula's head when Simon says this. She offers Elijah the encouraging career advice to go after voice-overs in monster movies. Right.

Watch video of Elijah Scarlett

Lea Marie Golde, a 16-year-old wearing a pink cowboy hat, cowboy boots, a tight pink top and little denim skirt is our nomination for most annoying contestant of the night. She is also Kara's biggest fan. Lea Marie has already written over 100 original songs and views herself as a Kara in the making. Voice-wise, she tells us she is a cross between Hillary Duff and Madonna. If she makes it to Hollywood, we vow to shot ourselves -- or the TV. She sings "Every Time We Touch" by Cascada and the judges tell her she needs to work on her voice (and her hubris). She vows to come back next year and try out again. Please. Don't.

Watch video of Lea Marie Golde

Finally, we get a couple of viable contestants. Wearing a black-and-white cow-patterned shirt, 16-year-old Stevie Wright, named after Stevie Nicks, does a more-than-acceptable version of Etta James' "At Last." There's something very likable about her and we think she has potential to develop into more than what we saw at the audition. After she leaves the audition room, Kara remarks, "That's my girl," while Paula compares her to Kelly Clarkson.

Watch video of Stevie Wright

She is followed by Michael Sarver, who works as a roughneck on an oil rig, a job he says is the fifth most dangerous in the world. (Who ranks these things anyway, and on what criteria?). His wife worries about him getting hurt on the job and he, too, is looking to win this competition to change the lives of his family, which also includes his two kids. He does an OK rendition of "Thank You" by Boyz II Men, but the judges were more impressed than we were. Simon says he has likeability. OK, we didn't get any particular vibes, but then again, we're just seeing snippets.

Watch video of Michael Sarver

Katrina Darrell, who has been hyped all evening as the girl in the bikini, is the second most annoying contestant of the night. Even more annoying than her teeny bikini is her I'm all that and a bag of chips demeanor. Well, she's not. She tells us prior to the audition that she has a thing for Ryan and has names for all their children. She then tells Ryan they're going to makeout after she gets her ticket to Hollywood. When she walks into the audition room, Simon's eyes bug out of his head and in his mind he's already put her through. Then he actually does. Randy follows, saying she has a lot of potential. The ladies are stunned. Kara tells Katrina she doesn't have the chops to sing Mariah Carey's "Vision of Love," and then demonstrates how the song should be sung. Katrina disses Kara, saying her demonstration wasn't that good either. Paula's incensed by Katrina's remark to Kara, but Simon agrees with it. Kara asks Katrina her name and Katrina answers, "Katrina Derrell." Kara says, "Oh, 'cause we just know you as Top and Bottom." Katrina shoots her a look. Paula, knowing it's a 2-2 tie and that Simon holds the tie-breaking vote, tells her "Welcome to Hollywood." Kara mumbles, "Next time come naked." Kara finds Ryan and begins to try making out with him. The best part of the night: the producers accompany this footage with Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl." And it's obvious they meant the music to refer to Katrina, not Ryan. Then Katrina jumps into the pool with her heels on. Did she drown? We hope so.

Watch video of Katrina Darrell

Eric "Sexual Chocolate" Thomas, does a karaoke version of Stevie Wonder's "Ribbon in the Sky." Before singing he displays his nickname tatted on his back, and Kara and Paula tell him it appears to read Chacolate instead of Chocolate. The judges read in his notes that if he doesn't make it to Hollywood his mother is going to buy him a car. The judges pass, but his mother hugs him outside the audition room. Maybe they then went car shopping.

Watch video of Eric "Sexual Chocolate" Thomas

The judges almost take a pass on perky Brianna Quijada as well, who does a just-adequate version of Denise Williams "Let's Hear it For the Boy." But even though he didn't like her singing, Simon decides at the last moment that he likes her. She says, "I like you, too, Si-Mee," and she slips through. And though there is something stupidly likable about her, she'll be gone in a second in Hollywood.

Watch video of Brianna Quijada

Ryan tells us that although most auditioners bring family for support, 25-year-old Deanna Brown has come by herself. Turns out that Deanna has an interesting -- and memorable -- quality to her voice. She is also very composed and thoughtful. We liked her version of Otis Redding's "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay" and hope she made it to the top 50 as well. BTW, she calls mom after she makes it through and mom tells her how proud she is of her. A real catch-in-the-throat manipulative Idol moment.

Watch video of Deanna Brown

Teen Cody Sheldon likes making bloody horror films. Sorry, but there's something creepy about him. He does a decent job with James Morrison's "Wonderful World," and gets through, partially, we think, because the judges didn't expect him to be able to sing the song at all.

Watch video of Cody Sheldon

We thought Alex Wagner-Trugman, 19, was the biggest surprise of the night. Alex taught himself to sing in a moldy closet, which ultimately made him sick. He no longer sings there, leading Simon to comment, "so you've just come out of the closet?" The other judges rag on Simon for his comment, but Alex handles it -- and Simon -- with aplomb. Alex has a very unusual singing voice. He asked Randy to sing the choruses with him on James Ingram's "Baby Come to Me," proving that Randy is a musician and not a singer. Although Alex's voice is strange it also was totally in pitch and enjoyable. Simon didn't like his performance, so Alex offered to sing "God Save the Queen," a comment Simon didn't appreciate. But the kid has wit and smarts, and fortunately got a thumbs up from the other three judges. We look forward to his Hollywood appearances.

Watch video of Alex Wagner-Trugman

Finally, there was Scott MacIntyre, a young man who is visually disabled but amazingly accomplished. He is a singer-songwriter who plays piano, skis, dances and supposely has already recorded six albums. He sang Billy Joel's "And So It Goes." We thought it was nice and tender, if not great. He easily impresses the judges and makes it through. But, again, don't fall in love with MacIntyre, as his Web site and MySpace page -- where he sounds amazing -- are fully up and functional, which is not permissable for contestants who make the top 50 cut.

Watch video of Scott MacIntyre

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© 2009