American Idol Season 8Top 7 Disco Week Results

Because of the Judges Save being used last week, two contestants are eliminated tonight.

Eliminated:
Lil Rounds

Bottom Two:
Anoop Desai
Allison Iraheta

Eliminated:
Anoop Desai

Tonight no time is wasted. No extraneous filler, unless you consider the regularly scheduled features filler, as we do. Everyone we know would prefer a 30-minute results show. Everyone. We once again have the opening collage sequence of snippets of judges opinions and comments from the contestants.

Watch video of Opening Sequence

Paula Abdul choreographed the group number, set to Michael Jackson's "Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground)." We first view a video of La Abdul putting her students through their paces. During the live number, the kids totally lip-sync as they try to reproduce the most difficult choreography to date in a group number. They make the "Dancing With the Stars" celebs look like masterful pros. For a bunch of kids, very few of them have any dancing chops.

Ryan Seacrest has La Abdul take the stage. She's wearing a ridiculously short and shiny mini dress that barely -- just barely -- covers her genitalia. Plus, the scoop neck is cut down to there. Nearly 47, she's still got the hot body for this number, but is about 20 years past her prime for wearing it. Ryan and the kids present her with a big bouquet of flowers. The kids all say, "Love you Paula," as they kiss her. Sounds totally insincere and rehearsed, heh. Anoop doesn't come down to kiss her quickly enough, so she summons him with her finger. Paula gives the audience the royal wave holding her bouquet. She is totally smiling. Nothing makes Paula happier than moments that are all about her. She tells Ryan she had so little time to work with the kids, they must be mad at her for working them so hard. She asks "Were you mad at me?" Oh course, there's a chorus of "no's." Maybe Lil and Anoop would have yelled "yes" if they knew what was coming.

Watch video of Group Number "Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground)"

The Ford commercial is set to Lykke Li's ironically titled "I'm Good, I'm Gone," a little inside producers' joke perhaps?



Watch video of Ford commercial "I'm Good, I'm Gone"

And the eliminations begin. Ryan asks Lil to stand, then tells her he can see it in her eyes how badly she wants this. At this point, does she really? She knows she can't win and she gets hammered each week with how she hasn't shown them what kind of artist she wants to be. Isn't it just easier to go home to your family and wait out the tour? Ryan then says, "We need someone like you in this competition," followed by telling her to walk to the far side of the stage. Guess they don't need her that badly if she's in the Bottom 3. Ryan says Lil has three kids and is one of the most courageous contestants, never afraid to speak her mind, and then, in the blink of an eye, Ryan tells her that her journey is over. No Bottom 3. Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. It was so brutally quick, it was almost worse than the torture games, which leave you a smidgen of hope that you're safe. Ryan: "Ladies and gentlemen, that is it for her." Lil sings, then Ryan asks Randy Jackson what advice he would give her. It's the standard "It's just the beginning, baby" blather. Next Ryan goes to Simon Cowell, who has a revealing slip of the tongue: "Well, you know, I was a huge, I still am actually, a massive fan of you." Uh-huh.

Watch video of Lil Rounds being eliminated

After that punch to the gut, it's time for some happy disco music! First up is guest performer Freda Payne, who takes the stage to sing "Band of Gold" (1970), a song that technically preceded the disco era, which most people agree started in 1973. It is a painful performance to watch. Payne looks OK in her slightly too tight gold glittery gown, but her 66-year-old voice is shot and she has trouble with breath control while singing. She even looks like she's going to fall a couple of times. We loved this song in its day, but, please don't stop the music. She has trouble finding enough breath to introduce Thelma Houston, who, at nearly 63, still has it going on, though her long dress has a weird too short front, as if two different versions were sewn together. Regardless, considering her age, she does herself proud with "Don't Leave Me This Way," sung to Simon. Next up is KC (Harry Wayne Casey) from KC and the Sunshine Band, who, at 58, is a mere baby compared with the ladies who preceded him. He proves his voice is pretty much shot with "Get Down Tonight." Looking like a paunchy, balding grandpa down at his local bar doing karaoke, he barely moves while four skanky backup singer-dancers (including one older overweight one with the fakest looking globular tits we've ever seen -- they're even worse than Paula's) prance around him. But you know what? We still enjoyed it. What can we say? We're a child of the era and have fond memories.

Watch video of Freda Payne singing "Band of Gold"; Thelma Houston singing "Don't Leave Me This Way"; KC singing "Get Down Tonight"

Whew! It's time for more bloodletting. Ryan goes back to the couches. Kris Allen stands and is safe, likewise Adam Lambert, and, of course, Danny Gokey, though Ryan lets Danny sweat a little before letting him off the hook. Remember, Lil came in No. 1 on DialIdol.com, yet was eliminated, so no one is feeling absolutely safe. Ryan goes to the back row and asks Anoop to stand. Ryan gets right to the point -- Anoop is taking the now-familiar death walk to the stools yet again. Only Allison and Matt Giraud are left. One is in the Bottom 2/3, the other safe. Most everyone we know thinks Matt should be eliminated, but how would that look after the judges wasted the save on him last week? So, it really comes as no surprise -- except to Matt -- when he is told he is safe. Allison joins Anoop onstage. As she the approaches the stools and Anoop, she sings, "Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again." At least she has a sense of humor about it.

Watch video of Anoop Desai and Allison Iraheta in the Bottom 2/3

It's time for another breather, so last season's runner-up, David Archuleta, takes the stage to perform -- still with his eyes closed -- "Touch My Hand." It's not his best song and is it just us? Or does he not sound too terrific? We seem to remember him having a much richer voice last year. Maybe it's just exhaustion. Afterwards, he chats with Ryan and gives encouragement to Anoop and Allison.

Watch video of David Archuleta singing "Touch My Hand"

Finally, it's what the "Idol" producers like to (loosely) call "The Moment of Truth." Anyone who still believes that Anoop is safe at this point is totally deluding themselves. No way the producers are going to dump both remaining girls and have an all-male Top 5. Jeez, even Anoop knows that. So, of course, Allison is safe and Anoop sings his swan song. The producers don't even give Lil and Anoop separate journey videos -- they have to share one. So much for their personal archives. Anoop thanks the vocal coaches and Lil, graciously, thanks the judges. It's a wrap.

Watch video of Anoop Desai being eliminated

On Tuesday, the Top 5 perform standards made famous by members of the original Rat Pack, which included Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. Wow, that's our kind of music. We're going to loving on that theme. It seems tailor made for Matt (and his Sinatra hat), even though he would seem to be the most likely to be eliminated next.

And speaking of tailor, er, Taylor made, on Wednesday, Season 5 winner (and a personal favorite of ours) Taylor Hicks returns to "Idol" to sing his latest release, "Seven Mile Breakdown" from his new CD The Distance.

One final thought: Next week, will each contestant, as has been done in previous seasons, sing one song or two? Can they fit 10 songs into the scheduled 1 hr. 1 min. show? It's going to be interesting.

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© 2009

American Idol Season 8Top 7 (Again) Disco Week

It's Disco Week on "American Idol," and though we expected train wrecks, what we mostly got was boredom. More than half of the contestants seemed so afraid of doing a disco beat that they dramatically rearranged their music. Except for the lyrics, some of the songs were so melodically different from the originals, they could have been given new titles (yes, we're talking about you, Adam). So while the producers might call this disco because the songs all came from the '70s, there was very little performance-wise that evoked the excitement of that era's music or the vibe of mirror balls, fringe, spangles and Studio 54 (or, in Kara's case, Studio 57). When did the "Born to Be Alive" genre turn into emo, slit-your-wrist music?

This week, the pre-performance videos were eliminated and all four judges got to critique the contestants. And except in one case (for Kris Allen), Randy starts all the critiques and the judges go straight down the table as they've done in seasons past.

It's become obvious that the producers are so over Lil Rounds and want to make quick work of eliminating her. But the joke is on them. The harder they try, and the worse she performs, the more votes she gets, at least according to DialIdol.com. We laughed when we saw she wound up in 1st Place(!) in spite of getting the death position (going first) and giving a barely acceptable vocal. In our opinion, she deserves to be one of the two getting the boot tonight. Though DialIdol is declaring no one clearly safe this week (which means the producers will have free rein to eliminate the two of their own choosing and still look legit) and though they've wrong in the past, no one has ever come in first on DialIdol.com and been eliminated. Some online commenters are suggesting that the show's producers have found a way to successfully tamper with DialIdol's busy signal rate, the way in which they calculate the number of votes each contestant is receiving. We don't know who dialed and texted for Lil (though we suspect Vote for the Worst came out en masse), but we couldn't wait for her frequently painful rendition of Chaka Khan's "I'm Every Woman" to end. Yet, if Allison, who finished dead last on DialIdol, does get eliminated tonight, Lil's song title could become a ghastly reality. Randy Jackson says that Lil still didn't show them what kind of artist she is and what she can do in the competition. Kara DioGuardi says that all of America has been waiting for her to sing Chaka Khan but she's not sure if it was worth the wait, telling Lil she's been every woman on that stage -- every other woman except herself. Paula Abdul defends Lil and says the day before she had no voice and was on complete vocal rest, but adds that though Lil was hot, she didn't hit the boiling point. Simon Cowell says, "Oh, Lil, you look so sad." She tries to answer him, telling him she had fun performing, but he cuts her off with, "Sweetheart, I'm glad you had fun, because I think this is going to be the last week that we see you. I do. I do. I'll tell you why, because there was no originality, it was very copycat, the arrangement, your vocals were a mess and I absolutely believe this is your final shot. Sorry." Well, Simon, it might be you (and us) who is sorry instead.

Watch video of Lil Rounds singing "I'm Every Woman"

Kris Allen has one of those useless Coke chats with Ryan Seacrest, explaining that he chose Donna Summer's "She Works Hard for the Money," because it's a story song about a, er, woman, who, er, works hard for her money. Ryan sarcastically thanks Kris for clearing that up for us. Kris is the first contestant to really change up a song, playing acoustic guitar with a couple of other acoustic instrumentalists. He gives the song, as Paula correctly points out, a Santana feel. We like the arrangement, though it feels nothing like, or even near, disco. Kara tells Kris that he took a risk with the arrangement, but that it paid off big time, saying it sounded like it could go on his record and she has to give him props. Paula tries to use the analogy that a lot of women are known to shop in the men's department but there aren't many men who are willing to shop in the woman's department (ahem, Danny has shopped the woman's department all season, Paula)."I must tell you, you shopped and found a perfect fit. It not only showed your originality, but it showed us why you're a contender in this competition." Simon, who can't stop laughing at Paula's remarks, says, "You know what? I actually need a translator on this show. I don't understand it." Paula starts breaking in with, "He's known to shop in the women's department -- La Perla." Simon: "Are you saying he buys ladies underwear?" Paula: "No, I'm saying you do." Simon: "Sorry, Kris, I have no idea what that meant." Paula starts butting in again, and Simon actually pushes and sssshs her. Simon to Kris: "Kris, that was a complete polar opposite to the first performance. Insomuch as it was original, it was well thought out. That was not karaoke ... it was a fantastic performance." Randy says "You are ready for the Big Time, dawg, because you know who you are. You perform great. You pick great arrangements. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing."

Watch video of Kris Allen singing "She Works Hard for the Money"

Danny Gokey, thankfully back in glasses, works the crowd and the stage with Earth, Wind and Fire's "September," changing it up a bit, but at least maintaining a disco vibe. For that alone we thank him. It's a nice if forgettable performance, but, once again, he has the audience and, except for Simon, the judges in the palm of his hand. For us, Danny has a great white soul voice and gives a solid performance every time out, but we've seen no growth in him since the beginning of the season. He started out good -- and stayed there. There haven't been any bad performances, but, unlike Adam, there haven't been any meteoric ones, either. Randy says that Danny turned the song into something that really worked for him, adding "good job, good job." Kara says she was worried about Danny on disco night, that "it was sort of like asking Simon to wear a plaid shirt or something." But, she says, he is an incredible vocalist and his pitch is right on -- always. She calls it another solid performance but says she is concerned that the audience will remember it by the end of the night. Honestly, we didn't. Paula says that instead of changing the song, Danny showed his vocal agility and brilliance, and that she thinks he has one of the sexiest voices ever, adding "And I think women of all ages will agree." Simon says he pretty much agrees with what the other judges said. "You can't fault the vocals, the arrangement was interesting. As a performance, though, I didn't really get any star power from that," says Simon. "Because at this stage, that's when you've got to start doing something special, and I thought the performance, overall, was a bit awkward and a bit clumsy." Paula yells out, "I'll still see you in the finals!"

Watch video of Danny Gokey singing "September"

Allison Iraheta is a tried and true rocker. She gives everything a rock vibe, even disco. She starts off Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff," from a sitting position, giving it a slow, growly edge. We wait patiently for the beat to pick up, especially when Allison stands up after the line, "almost rang the phone off the wall." But to our disappointment, even though the music picks up a beat, the vocal never does. And that is the performance's biggest flaw -- it just kind of lays there, dead. It also must be said that Allison has a big enunciation problem. Though her phrasing is always dead on, many of the words are inarticulate. But we like the tousled look of her hair this week, so much better than when it looks like a helmet head. Randy calls the arrangement over-indulgent (this season's favorite judge criticism), but emphasizes that Allison is one of the best singers in the competition, so even though he didn't love the arrangement, he loves her. Kara says making the arrangment slower hurt the performance, but that Allison picked the right song and she deems the vocal portion a 9-10. Paula doesn't mind the arrangment, says compromise does not exist in Allison's vocabulary and that speaks to her authenticity. She adds that the last note of the song was off the charts. Simon says that Allison was always going to come into this week as an underdog, but that taking everything into account, it was a brilliant performance. It's so obvious that the producers he wants Allison to stay and Lil to go, overpraising one and ultra-slamming the other. Will their his wish be granted? It's doubtful, if the results are reported honestly.

Watch video of Allison Iraheta singing "Hot Stuff"

It's Adam Lambert's turn and, like the rest of America, we're waiting to see what he's going to sing and how he's going to sing it. We figure it's going to be slow and plaintive, both because of the suit (more than any other contestant, this musical-theater vet understands the importance of dressing for the role he's playing) and slicked back hair (which is so high and Eddie Munster-ish this week it looks ridiculous) and because he sang a fast, frenetic song last week. The one consistent thing about Adam is he seems to alternate fast and slow performances. In his Coke interview, he tells Ryan he's singing Yvonne Elliman's (or the Bee Gees) "If I Can't Have You," because he wants to sing something he can relate to emotionally. OK, we would have thought maybe Kris would sing that, but Adam can sing pretty much anything. Although we can't fault the quality of the vocals, the song melodically is unrecognizable. Talk about self-indulgent! We're not loving it, but we're obviously in the minority. Whatever happened to the judges saying when you have a simple, beautiful melody line, you don't need to change it up? The audience and Paula give Adam a standing O. Randy says, "Dude, you are ready right now. You have it, major league, going on. He's the hot one tonight, America!" "Adam, you're brilliant. I don't know what else to say," says Kara, and then goes on to talk more than any other judge. She calls this his most memorable performance, says he looks like "the guy from 'Saturday Night Live' (OMG, did Miss Studio 57 mean "Saturday Night Fever"???) meets Clark Kent' " and swooningly tells him that the way he connects with his emotions is inspiring. While Simon makes amusing faces as she critiques, Paula tells Adam she felt his pain and vulnerability, "as if you tore your heart out and left it on the stage." She also calls him fascinating, awesome and brilliant and says "you will be in the finals." Simon says, "I would have put $10,000 that you would have done Donna Summer, but that's what so good about you. You did something that we weren't expecting. But once again, what I loved about this performance was, it was original -- never ever heard that song sung like that before. Most importantly, you're going to remember it. And even more important, the vocals were immaculate. Congratulations." After the tongue bath by the judges, Adam, always the gentleman, thanks Michael Orland, the show's arranger and associate musical director, for helping him come up with the arrangement, calling Orland a genius.

Watch video of Adam Lambert singing "If I Can't Have You"

As if they're trying to doom him no matter how good he is (and he isn't), the producers once again curse Matt Giraud by positioning him right after Adam, as they did last week. This unenviable spot is not helped by his uninspired and boringly karaoke version of the Bee Gees "Stayin' Alive" -- something Giraud won't be doing after that performance. Especially after the judges inexplicably wasted their one save of the season on him last week. Randy "didn't love the song choice, didn't love the arrangement," but tells Matt he can really sing. Jackson then goes on to say that this group of seven kids is one of the most talented they've ever had on the show. Is he kidding? Add the word "least" before talented and he would have nailed it. This group competes with -- and maybe beating -- Season 6 in that esteem-less category. Kara says Matt brought disco back. Too bad he didn't do it in a good way, Kara. She then less enthusiastically adds that his vocals were good and it was a solid performance. Paula tells Matt that he picks songs like she bowls: "sometimes you throw gutter balls and sometimes you get strikes. And this was a strike." Er, no. Analogy correct, choice wrong. Gutter ball from the release. Continuing with her incorrect appraisal, she says, "Last week the judges saved your life. Tonight, after this performance, you saved your own life. You are staying." Simon tells Matt he didn't like the performance because it came over as a bit desperate, the vocals weren't great and there was no originality.

Watch video of Matt Giraud singing "Stayin' Alive"

In the pimp spot, though not deserving it (actually, no one did this week), is Anoop Desai, who looked killer this week with his pretty-in-pink sweater, a new haircut and some facial hair. Actually, it was around this time last season when David Cook started sprouting facial hair and we also noticed Danny had some extra growth. We're guessing this is a routine "Idol" stylist suggestion -- but hey, it works. Anoop chose another Donna Summer classic, "Dim All the Lights," and put his R&B spin on it. It wasn't bad, in fact the vocals were among Anoop's best, but the song ended before it ever had a chance to take off. Randy says it was a little bit of a rough last note and he didn't love the arrangement, but that Anoop, like the Matt, can sing. Gee, isn't that why he's there? Randy ends with, "Anoop. Nice, baby. Nice." Kara says it is a great song choice and really liked the beat, saying that she thought it could be on the radio. She tells Anoop that the past two weeks were his best performances and that he's really hitting his stride. Paula tells him he looks fantastic and "real men know how to wear pink." She also tells him he has beautiful teeth and to smile more. And, yes, she liked his vocals, too. Simon says he completely disagrees with the other judges. "That was mediocre at best. Sorry. I prayed that the tempo wasn't going to come in. It did. It was a horrible version of that song. And in my opinion, genuinely, that was your worst performance by a mile. It really was." Nope, we couldn't disagree more.

Watch video of Anoop Desai singing "Dim All the Lights"

Our Top Three (we didn't love anyone this week):
Danny Gokey
Adam Lambert
Kris Allen

Our Bottom Three:
Matt Giraud
Lil Rounds
Allison Iraheta

Should Be Eliminated:
Matt Giraud
Lil Rounds

Will Be Eliminated:
Lil Rounds
Anoop Desai

Tonight, the group number is choreographed by Paula. Musical guests include David Archuleta, and Harry Wayne "KC" Casey (of KC and the Sunshine Band), Thelma Houston and Freda Payne will sing a medley of their hits, "Get Down Tonight," "Don't Leave Me This Way" and "Band of Gold."

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© 2009

American Idol Season 8 Top 7 Results

Bottom 3:
Anoop Desai
Lil Rounds
Matt Giraud

Anoop is safe
Lil is safe

Eliminated: NO ONE! The judges use their save to keep Matt in the competition. Next week, two contestants go home.

OK, no real surprise this week. Sure the Judges Save was employed, but even though Ryan Seacrest said there were two more weeks to use it, that was a lie Idolspeak. There was no way the producers were going to allow the save to be used next week. If they did, on the show when there are supposed to be five finalists left, there would be six (with two being eliminated that week). But that is the first week when each contestant has to sing two songs instead of one. If the director can't bring a one-hour show in on time with 7 songs, do you think they really want to go for 12? It'll be funny enough to see how they'll squeeze 10 songs into an hour. And they can't extend "Idol" to 90 minutes that week, since Fox is committed to six weeks of one-hour "Fringe" episodes.

A very savvy friend with music- and TV-industry ties told us that these overruns are not accidental. They are, in fact, planned in order to boost the ratings numbers for "Fringe." As soon as "Idol" overruns into "Fringe's" time slot, we've all become viewers of "Fringe" for that week. I believe this to be true because "Idol's" show content is not really overrunning its time slot. Consider: This week, the combined critique times for both judges was less than 2 minutes for each contestant. The videos, performances and interviews all stayed within their normally allotted times. Then how could the show go over? We suspect that Fox is invisibly extending the show by lengthening each commercial break. A one-hour show is allowed 18 minutes of advertising time. But if a show is scheduled for 1:01, as "Idol" was this week, can the producers now cut into the 18 minutes of advertising allotted to the next hour? To get around it legally, all they need do is shorten the commercial breaks during "Fringe" so that the advertising minutes equal 36 for the combined two hours. Clever, no? Perhaps not, if Fox starts losing both the viewers who record "Idol" and miss those important last minutes, or those who decide that watching the beginning of "The Mentalist" is more important than seeing the end of "Idol." Only time will tell.

Seacrest said there were 36 million votes this week. That's two million more than last week, when the show had its ridiculously long overrun. Still, it the same total they had for the two weeks prior to last week. Which means that "Idol" has not increased its voter total in the past month. That can't be a good sign as the competition rolls into its final month.

This week's opening melange of clips of Tuesday's show was way too artsy-fartsy. Either the producers got carried away or they let Quentin Tarantino make a video mess. If this is what they're going to start doing, let's roll back to the boring highlights reel instead.

The Ford video, set to the J. Geils Band's "Freeze Frame" featured Matt at a newsstand where all the magazine covers featured the finalists' singing. Haven't they used this idea before? In fact, wasn't it just last season? Oh. Wait. That was CD covers in a music store. Ooooo, big difference.

Watch video of the Ford commercial set to "Freeze Frame"

Next came the group number, "Maniac," from the film "Flashdance." This has to be a new "Idol" record: Finding the only song where every single finalist sounded lousy during their solo, heh. Singing together as a group wasn't nearly as awful, but even Adam Lambert sounded bad during the solos. Paula Abdul said during a radi broadcast this week that she is choreographing next week's group disco number. Let's hope it's better than this.

Watch video of Group Number "Maniac"

It's time for Ryan's rehearsed impromptu chat with the finalists. They talk about working with mentor Tarantino and then about how exciting it was to go to the red-carpet premiere of "17 Again," starring Zac Efron and Matthew Perry. After the clip, Ryan introduces Efron, who is sitting in the audience. He thanks the contestants for attending the premiere. As if ...

Watch video of finalists attending "17 Again" premiere

Finally, it's time for the results. And, surprise! They're not playing the accustomed seven finalists left game -- dividing the contestants into two groups of three of making someone who is safe pick the group of three who is also safe. Instead, it's the traditional approach. Allison Iraheta is safe (yea!), as is Adam. But poor Anoop, who did so well this week, is told that he is the Bottom 3 for the third time. Sigh.

Watch video of Anoop Desai in the Bottom 3

Before the eliminations continue, Oscar and Grammy Award-winner Jennifer Hudson graces the "Idol" stage (in a precorded segment) for the first time since she got the boot during Season 3. After a video tribute, she sings her current single, "If This Isn’t Love." She looks fab-u-lous. Truth be told, we don't love the song, but we love, love, love her voice. Her vocals put most -- if not all -- of the Season 8 finalists to shame. And she didn't even come close to winning Season 3 -- though she should have. We still remember the night she got the axe: Hudson, Fantasia and La Toya London in the Bottom 3, while John Stevens, George Huff, Diana DeGarmo and Jasmine Trias sat safely on the bleachers. It caused Elton John to declare the United States racist and perpetrated death threats against John Stevens.

Watch video of Jennifer Hudson singing "If This Isn’t Love"

Ryan asks Anoop if he's surprised to be in the Bottom 3. Of course he is, after the judges told him how good he was the night before. And in the next few minutes, we'll begin to wonder whether he really did place there, or whether the producers are playing their Bottom 3 games again. Kris Allen and Lil are asked to stand and Ryan says one of them is safe, the other in the Bottom 3. Simon Cowell interjects to say that they didn't get to critique Kris last night, but he wants to let Kris know that he was brilliant. Logic dictates that the loser in this duo is Kris, but Lil is told she's in the Bottom 3. Now we're sure the fix is in, since Kris placed dead last on DialIdol.com for two straight weeks, yet didn't even land in the Bottom 3, much less get eliminated. Meanwhile, Lil placed second from the top, right after Danny on DialIdol on Tuesday, more than likely due to her nasty little exchange with Simon. Again, notice that Ryan never says that either Anoop or Lil received the lowest vote totals.

Danny Gokey and Matt are left and told to stand. Ryan tries to do a head trip on Danny and make him think he's in the Bottom 3. Not even our dogs believed that. Matt has the look of a hanged man and he's right, especially after Kris was given a pass. Ryan assembles the Bottom 3 and tells them that one is going to be released to safety. We mutter "Anoop, Anoop, Anoop" are breathe a sigh of relief when he is told to go to the couches. Of course, he's not going to win, but of the three onstage, he most deserves to not be there.

Watch video of Lil Rounds and Matt Giraud in the Bottom 3

And it's time for a headache musical interlude. Miley Cyrus is live in the studio to sing "The Climb," from "Hannah Montana: The Movie." Good thing she never tried out for "Idol." Between her lack of enunciation and nasally whiny voice she probably wouldn't have made it past the audition stage. It must be good to have a daddy in the biz to keep you from having an achy breaky heart (and supply you with boyfriends). And BTW, how much does that crystal mic stand cost?

Watch video of Miley Cyrus singing "The Climb"

Simon says the judges might consider saving one person and that person would probably be surprised. Ryan asks, "So it would be Lil?" and Simon tells him let's wait and see. And it's time for the moment of "truth," a word thrown around very loosely on "Idol." Lil is safe. Matt has to sing for his life. The performance is not great. Vocally, it might be a tad better than Tuesday, but without the piano, it resonates less, if at all. Paula and Kara DioGuardi (who never want to eliminate anyone) dance through the performance. Ryan chats up Matt while the judges talk about dinner deliberate. The audience begins to loudly chant "Save Matt! Save Matt!" Is this staged? When did Matt become so popular? Oh, this seems sooooooo staged. Finally, Simon asks Matt how many times he's been in the Bottom 3. He says twice. Simon tells him, "Could I be honest with you? OK. I didn't think you were as good as you were last night. I don't see that you have really any chance of winning the competition." The other three judges start acting protesting. (Oh c'mon, we have a better chance of winning the competition.) Simon continues, "I'm being honest with you. (trying to talk over the noise) Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. We've made a decision." Kara shouts, "No!" Simon holds us his hand to quiet her. Simon: "Matt, it's good news." The theater goes wild. Oh, really. We're saving Matt here, not Adam or Danny.

Watch video of Matt being eliminated and saved

And amazingly, the show ends exactly on time -- without the 2-3 minute journey video. How can that be? The producers couldn't have known that Matt would be saved. HA! What suckers we "Idol" viewers are to think any of this is real.

Next week, the theme is disco, which ought to produce numerous train-wreck performances. Eliminating two finalists could be way easier than it sounds. On Wednesday night, David Archuleta performs.

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© 2009

American Idol Season 8Top 7 Songs From the Cinema

Question: How do you have one less contestant than the week before, only two judges critiquing instead of four and still run out of time?

Answer: You don't ... unless you're an idiot. Someone PLEASE fire the director of "American Idol!"

You can feel the stink of desperation wafting off the show. Every week something is changing as the viewers and the voting talleys descend. Last week, the producers smartly eliminated the ridiculous judges' stair entrance and this week Rickey Minor and the band were rightfully returned to the stage instead of being hidden behind curtains or in the rafters. Adam's interaction with them alone was worth the change. Maybe next week Ryan Seacrest will no longer have to descend the Stairway to Heaven (it's such a pompous entrance, we almost want him to fall each week, just so they'll end it).

But this week they introduced the worst change of all: Because their inept director can't hold the reins on running overtime, they've decided to punish the viewers by only allowing two judges to critique each performance. C'mon, does anyone really care what anyone says other than Simon Cowell? (Though we did note that Simon (and Paula Abdul) reviewed the most likely to end up in the finale contestants: Allison, Adam, Danny and Lil.) Why don't they cut their losses and eliminate Kara DioGuardi, who has added nothing but time overruns to the series? This tag team judging not only sucked, the show still ran overtime, even though, on average, the two judges spoke for less than two minutes! What's more amazing, is that for seven seasons three judges (and occasionally four if there was a guest judge) critiqued every week and the only times they ever ran seriously over were during the star-packed finale shows. And even those didn't run as much over as last week's show. This week, the show ran about 3 minutes over, so VCR, TiVo and DVR users again were screwed, this time missing Lil cut Simon a new one after his caustic review of her performance. Producers, here are things we don't need to see: The contestant's intro videos, the ridiculously useless Coke interviews and the seriously long commercial breaks. Oh, better go with the contestant's videos. The latter two generate money, so you're never going to get rid of those.

Certainly, we could have lived without the inexorably long video tribute to this week's mentor, Quentin Tarantino, a legend in his own mind. What does he know about music other than he listens to it? He sucked as a guest judge during Season 3 (being unnecessarily cruel to Diana DeGarmo) and insinuated himself into Tuesday's show from the onset, including having to announce "This IS 'American Idol.'" Does he not know that this isn't "Saturday Night Live" and that he should have stayed in his friggin' seat in the audience? His great advice including telling Anoop to "rough it up" and growl during his song, telling us he really didn't know what Adam was going to do during his performance and fawning over Lil, as if she was the celebrity and he was a groupie. Yuck! And after all that, whatever was good on the show -- and that wasn't much -- had nothing to do with his advice.

Watch video tribute to Quentin Tarantino

The evening got off to an OK start with Allison Iraheta singing Aerosmith's "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" from "Armageddon," which suited her husky voice well. She was a bit shaky with the low range of song's opening but gradually improved as the song built to a rousing end. Paula tells Allison that she possesses the same "special sauce" as Adam, "and that's being authentic. You don't compromise that authenticity." Simon begins with, "Allison, yes, I think it was barbecue sauce Paula was referring to: hot, spicy," turning to Paula, "Yeh?" She agrees, he says, "Whatever." He then takes his first jab at Lil, telling Allison, "I think you are the girls only hope left in this competition right now. I really genuinely do." Unfortunately, the public disagrees, as Allison will more than likely be in the Bottom 3, while, according to DialIdol.com, Lil placed second, a spot she didn't come near deserving. Talk about the power of a fan base! Simon continues, "I don't think I've heard a girl -- let alone someone your age -- sing that song so well ... we could see you all the way through to the end now."

Watch video of Allison Iraheta singing Aerosmith's "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" from "Armageddon"

Perhaps the most pleasant surprise of the evening was Anoop Desai, in possibly his best performance to date, and now with two weeks of solid deliveries. Instead of doing Tarantino's growl, he put a really pleasing R&B spin on Bryan Adam's (Everything I Do) I Do It for You," from "Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves," a song that has been overdone on "Idol." Anoop, however, found a way to make it fresh and really romantic, with every single note on key. He could probably have a hit with his creative adaptation. Randy Jackson tells him that in the last couple of weeks, Anoop has really found his zone and that he's rockin' the house. "It was in tune, you had some emotion jumpin' off of it, dude. I thought you did a really good job, man." Kara says Anoop's really found his place: doing pop songs and adding soul to them. She adds that it was probably one of his best vocals and that she felt really connected to it.

Watch video of Anoop Desai singing Bryan Adam's "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You" from "Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves"

Without doubt, our favorite performance of the night belongs lock, stock and 10 blazing barrels to Adam Lambert. Talk about trapping lightning (which was his backdrop theme) in a bottle! Adam epitomizes what "Idol" should be about. Being so amazing and creative each week that you can't wait to see what he is going to do next. How good was he doing Steppenwolf's "Born to Be Wild" from "Easy Rider"? So good that all we could think is: Why is anyone else even bothering to perform? Indeed, the lightening was most appropriate for his electrifying performance, so full of energy we were jumping out of our skin watching it. His musical theater background serves him so well, it's almost frightening. This guy isn't an amateur. He was obviously ready for the pros without "Idol." But "Idol" is giving him the opportunity to easily step right into the pros. The booming ovation from the audience was stunning ... and endless. When Paula finally gets a chance to speak, she says, "The reason, Adam, that you're shaking up this whole competition is that you dare to dance in the path of greatness ... fortune rewards the brave, and you're one of the bravest contestants I've ever witnessed. Ever. I think you're fantastic." Simon says, "Adam, I think you've got to learn how to express yourself a bit more," and rolls his eyes to the audience's laughter. He continues, "Vocally, incredible. Downside for that performance to me, it was a little like watching 'The Rocky Horror' musical in parts." Adam answers, "I love the 'Rocky Horror' musical." Simon then says, "It was one of the biggest rock songs on all time, so there is going a be a huge proportion of the audience who would have loved that. There's also going to be another side that will absolutely despise it. I don't think that performance will be as popular as your one last week." Paula shouts out, "Apples and oranges." And, of course, she's right. But then, so is Simon. Though Adam clearly should have finished first this week, DialIdol has him in the No. 3 slot. As Randy would say, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" And omigod, we just watched the video for about the fifth time and are as mesmerized as the first time we saw the performance. Bravo!

Watch video of Adam Lambert singing Steppenwolf's "Born to Be Wild" from "Easy Rider"

Bad enough to have to follow Adam. Even worse to follow him with the night's poorest performance. We have given up on trying to like Matt Giraud. He just can't bring it on the level he needs to every week. He can't even get through en entire song without hitting some real clunker notes. He chose another Bryan Adams song, "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" from "Don Juan DeMarco." Quentin Tarantino tells us that if Matt does the song the same way he did it for him, it will be one of Matt's top three performances. Is that even a compliment? Turns out, it was in his Bottom 3, where is where Matt will find himself firmly entrenched tonight. The only thing that might save him is the elimination of Kris, instead. We hated the arrangement of the song -- it was all over the place. And there were too many bad notes to count. The ending was delicious, but way too little, way too late. If Matt goes tonight, well, he deserves to. Randy says, "It started out kind of cool. When you hit the bridge, man, it hit a rough patch ... a little melody going off, a little pitchy thing going on ... when you take a song like this that's got a beautiful simple melody, you can't do all of that stuff with it. Because you're going to fall down somewhere, and you fell down more places tonight than you won ... so it wasn't one of your best performances." Kara says that Matt keeps going back and forth between rock and soul songs and when you're going to flip a song like he did it has to be a masterpiece. While she's talking, Simon is doing some weird thing, apparently showing Paula something. He opens his mouth all the way and thrusts his head and neck forward. What was up with that? Later he's just sitting there with his mouth agape. Strange. Check him out in the video.

Watch video of Matt Giraud singing Bryan Adams' "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" from "Don Juan DeMarco"

Ah, it must be Danny Gokey's turn. Why? Didn't you see the dead wife card being pulled out? Tonight with props. What do we mean? Oh, look, there's a big harp to accompany him. Don't they play those in heaven? On his last note of Diana Ross' "Endless Love," from the movie of the same name," Danny (wearing contacts, not glasses, so we're sure to notice) turns his misty eyes heavenward on the lyric "my endless love" as a crescendo of harp strings ends the song. We're surprised we don't see a portrait of his late wife projected on the ceiling of the theater, gazing down and waving lovingly to him. Give it a rest, Danny. Yes, it's a tragedy you lost you're wife. But be a man and stop milking it in a feeble attempt to try to win the competition. But, smart marketer that you are, it worked. Though your performance was average bordering on corny -- you didn't even come close to Adam's level this week -- the viewers have put you in first place. There must be a lot of horny cougars out there hungry for a widower with no kids. Paula starts by telling Danny that from the opening of the performance she wasn't sure that the key shouldn't have been lowered, then, while Simon fidgets, goes on about the magical timbre of his voice and says he pulled it together by the end -- "you grab us in the beginning, you wow us in the middle and you slay us at the end" -- eventually calling it "a beautiful, beautiful rendition." Simon says he can't really fault the way Danny sang the song, calling him a brilliant singer, but says that he's disappointed "that we had the harp and that we had a very traditional version of the song. Whereas last year, when David [Cook] did the Lionel Richie song ["Hello"] he made it into his unique version. I was kind of a bit bored [with yours]. That's all you did with it. So I'm slightly disappointed to be honest with you." But then, in an out-of-character mush moment, Simon adds, "Having said that, I think this song obviously means a lot to you personally, and I can see that you're emotional, and it's a hard thing to do. So (pause) I congratulate you for that." Oh, Simon, since when can't you see when you're being manipulated?

Watch video of Danny Gokey singing Diana Ross' "Endless Love" from "Endless Love"

Tarantino tells us that he thinks Kris Allen lived up to the spirit of the competition the most by picking a movie ("Once") that meant something to him and picking the song that was perfect for him (Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova's "Falling Slowly"). Tarantino also encourages Kris to play an instrument for the performance. Fortunately, Kris ignores the suggestion. Unfortunately, not only is the song obscure, the 4-minute original doesn't sustain when chopped to 1:49. The instrumentality that is so vital to it gets lost as well as what little (very little) drama it possesses. Though beautifully sung by Kris -- perhaps even better than Hansard did it -- the abridgement is, well, boring. At this point, the show is seriously looking like it's going to run over, and Randy and Kara are given less than a minute to speak. He says, "It never quite caught on for me, and I love that song. But for me, it was pitchy from note 1." She says, "Difficult to pick an obscure song like that maybe not everybody knows (er, isn't that the definition of obscure, genius?), but for me, it was (spacing her words with pauses) one ... of ... your ... best ... moments (long pause) Evah!

Watch video of Kris Allen singing Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova's "Falling Slowly" from "Once"

When we heard that Lil Rounds was going to be doing the title song from Bette Midler's "The Rose," we thought here comes another train wreck. And, to be honest, when we listened live, we hated it. Yet, we liked it a bit on playback. It took us a while to figure out what threw us off. The opening is so well-known you can't just throw some parts of it away. Lil discarded the lyric

"some say love it is a razor/
that leaves the soul to bleed."

The melody does not jump comfortably from

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed

to

Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need

especially when you're changing it up with R&B styling. Plus, the entire second stanza was dropped, whose words, to us, are more meaningful than the first's:

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live

Had Lil left the opening traditional and then jumped into her gospel-tinged R&B version it could have been great. As it was, for us at least, it was one of the night's worst. Paula talks to Lil about the beautiful lyrics (what about the missing ones?) but never addresses her performance at all. Thankfully, Simon says to Paula, "I have absolutely no idea what you just said there." To Lil, he says, "I think that you're getting this completely wrong. The song was too soft for you. It was too middle of the road. You had some nice moments in there, but, you know, there are no excuses anymore, Lil. You know, you are not the artist I believe we met seven or eight weeks ago. I'm getting frustrated ..." During this, the camera pans back and forth from his face to hers, and you could tell Lil was getting angry. While Simon is talking, she turns and says something to Ryan. Simon stops and says, "No, what do you want to say?"
Lil: "OK, I really want to say something real quick, Simon. You know, you guys told me to be an artist. And when I heard this song, I thought it was a beautiful song. And I put my own bit to it. Because I'm into the R&B and the soul and the gospel. And I put it in there and I told ..."
Simon: "But, but, but ..."
Lil: "And I thought it was really good. I really do."
Simon: "But, Lil ..."
Ryan: "We've got to leave it at that."
Simon: "OK, but it was a Bette Midler song."
Lil: "I know it was Bette Midler. And I know that she's not an artist that you'd necessarily see me doing ..."
Simon: "No"
Lil (getting strident): "But I honestly put an R&B feel to it and I ..."
Paula: "Don't ever be afraid to say what you feel Lil. Those who matter, don't mind" (Shut up Paula!)
Ryan cuts it off her. Simon looks seriously pissed. Lil better hope that DialIdol is right and that she doesn't need to get saved tonight.

Watch video of Lil Rounds singing Bette Midler's "The Rose" from "The Rose"

Our Top 3:
Adam Lambert
Anoop Desai
Danny Gokey/Allison Iraheta (tie)

Our Bottom 3:
Matt Giraud
Lil Rounds
Kris Allen

Should be eliminated: Matt Giraud

Will be eliminated: Kris or Matt or Allison (we think if it's Allison, they'll save her)

Tonight Jennifer Hudson and Miley Cyrus perform.

e-mail Idol Addict
© 2009

American Idol Season 8Top 8 Results

Bottom 3:
Scott MacIntyre
Lil Rounds
Anoop Desai

Eliminated: Scott MacIntyre

As it did last week, the show opens with a film montage of performance snippets intercut with judge critiques. Somehow, it's lost the pow it had last week. Maybe it's the clips they used this week. It's just not as effective. Ryan Seacrest chats up the judges. He tells Simon Cowell they have a clip of a song from the year he was born (1959! He hits the BIG 5-0 on Oct. 7). On the screen a video of Frankie Avalon singing "Venus," that looks like it might have been from "American Bandstand," is played. Suddenly, the screen slides apart and Avalon walks through. He looks and sounds amazing, especially considering he turned 70 in February. He can't hit all the big notes anymore, but the mellow tone has remained solid through the years. The judges, especially Simon, actually look surprised. What a fun treat, the best surprise of the season. This is what "Idol" should do more often if it wants to win back its audience. Little surprise treats like this one, instead of just pimping artists who have come out with new releases. BTW, check out the photo above. What's with the evening gloves on Paula Abdul? Where did she think she was going tonight? But even her gloves won't prevent her from wearing one of her QVC bracelets. Heh.

What video of Frankie Avalon singing "Venus" to Simon Cowell

Next is the group number, Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Out of My Head," from 2002, the year, Ryan tells us, that "American Idol" was "born." The group sounds so bad, our ears begin to bleed. Please don't stop the music. Ugh. It's hard for a group of two girls and six guys to pull off a song sung by a woman. The only (barely) tolerable part is when the girls, including Adam Lambert, sing.

Watch video of the group number "Can't Get You Out of My Head"

Before the actual Ford commercial, set to Britney Spears' "Circus," we view a behind-the-scenes look at the filming of it. It looks like it could be good, until we actually see the video, which is far less interesting and entertaining than the behind-the-scenes look. Yawn.

Watch video of the Ford commercial "Circus"

Time for the results, but first Ryan asks Adam how he felt about Simon giving him a standing O. Would we even have to watch them make Adam suck up to Cowell if it hadn't made national news -- Simon Cowell gives contestant a standing ovation? Of course, they coyly didn't address the other "Idol" story that made national news on Wednesday -- America misses seeing the best performance of the night because show unnecessarily runs over by 7 minutes. Bah! The only funny thing about it was when Ryan asked Adam: "How did you feel when he [Cowell] got up on his heels there and lifts and stood up and praised you." At least some of the audience tittered and got it.

Ryan tells us the judges' save is still alive for three more weeks. Will it be used tonight? Adam, Kris Allen and Anoop are asked to stand. Ryan asks Randy Jackson, Kara DioGuardi and Paula to give Adam a further tongue bath by telling him what they thought of his performance on Tuesday. Lambert is then, of course, told he is safe. Seacrest says that either Kris or Anoop is in the Bottom 3. Hmmm, it's got to be Kris. No! It's Anoop. Wait. Even Kris' wife looks surprised. Kris got the lowest DialIdol.com score. Even if he wasn't eliminated, he's got to be in the Bottom 3. Uh-oh, the producers are playing games with the definition of "Bottom 3" again. (We especially believe this after we learn that Lil, who deserved to be in the Bottom 3 but came in fourth out of eight according to DialIdol, is in it. It's as if the judges want to put a scare in her for underachieving the past three weeks.)

Watch video ofAnoop Desai in the Bottom 3

Musical guest Flo Rida sings his current No. hit, "Right Round" (but without Katy Perry). Sorry, not our taste in music. Fortunately, you can't make out most of the lyrics. We can't help but wonder if family values-loving America would take kindly to this performance if they knew Flo was singing about paying for fellatio. Is this another little joke the producers are playing on the public or are they hoping to draw a younger audience by bringing in an edgy rapper?

Watch video of Flo Rida singing "Right Round"

Time for more results. Danny Gokey is safe, as is Matt Giraud, but not before Ryan screws with his head a bit, making him think he's not. Scott is told that the risk he took leaving the piano didn't work. He's in the Bottom 3. Actually it had nothing to do with the piano and everything to do with his lousy singing. Lil and Allison Iraheta stand. One of them is also in the Bottom 3. After Tuesday, if it's Allison, we'll know it's a fix. Wait, if it's Lil we'll also know that, heh. It's Lil, who in spite of her strong fan support, deserves to be there. Ryan says that's all we'll know until after Kellie Pickler's performance. Ryan asks Simon if the judges would consider saving anyone this week. Cowell says there are a couple of people they'd consider, one in particular (Lil?).

Watch video of Scott MacIntyre and Lil Rounds in the Bottom 3

We love Kellie Pickler and she looks great, but her live performance reminds us why, other than her personality, she didn't have a snowball's chance during Season 5. She sounds no better now than she did then. She soars on the money notes, but has no lower register whatsoever, and most of her new single, "Best Days of Your Life," which she wrote with Taylor Swift, is in the low range. If Auto-Tuning hadn't been invented she might still be serving burgers on roller skates in Albemarle, N.C. During the number she fake flirts at the judges' table, first with Simon and then with Randy. She's out of breath after her performance. How does she make it through a concert?

Watch video of Kellie Pickler singing "Best Days of Your life"

Time for the elimination. Ryan says he's sending someone back to safety. "Anoop," he says pausing, "stay where you are (pause) Lil you are safe." Whaaaaaat? What Ryan did to Anoop really puts the suck in sucker punch. So it's down to Scott and Anoop. Ryan says of the 34 million votes this week (which is 2 million votes less than either of the previous two weeks), only 30,000 votes separated the two. This time, Anoop really is safe and Scott will sing for his survival, fortunately without his electric geetar guitar. For the first 20 seconds, he's a bit better than Tuesday ... and then the screeching starts. Paula and Kara are dancing like deaf fools. Then the judges fake deliberate. Ryan asks Simon why last week he would't even consider using the judges' save with Megan Joy. Simon says, "Because I didn't care. I genuinely didn't care, I don't think she cared. And this is a whole different ballgame. And I'm going to be honest with you, two people think you should stay and two people think you should go." Ryan tells them to take a minute, but Simon just looks at the other three frustrated about what to do. No one seems to want to give on this. Paula doesn't look happy. Ryan goes back to Simon, who gives more deference to Scott than anyone else they've shoved out the door, saying "Scott, this is really tough. I really like you Scott. I'm looking over there and think there's a bunch of talented singers, so this decision isn't just based on you. It's whether I think somebody, or we think someone, is more talented over there. And this is the problem." Scott, pathetically trying to fill the silence, says "I know I can please you another week, Simon." Kara and Paula seem to be arguing for Scott, saying that he had been getting it right in previous weeks (oh, c'mon, no he hadn't), and although what he sang this week wasn't the right song for him, it doesn't diminish what he had done earlier. But isn't that true about everyone who has been eliminated? What about poor Alexis Grace? Surely she deserved to be saved more than anyone else based on previous merit. Why are they patronizing and groveling to Scott? We always hear that challenged people want to be treated the same as everyone else, not differently. Why are they making an exception with him, instead of treating him like the rest? If Anoop had been eliminated would they be bending over backwards like this? We'd put money on "no." Ryan says, "They're pushing for a verdict." Simon asks the other cowards, "You want me to make a decision?" They apparently say "yes." Simon turns and says, "Scott, someone's got to make a decision here, and I'm going to say it's the end of the competition. Sorry." Scott seems a little stunned and takes a second to digest this. They run Scott's journey video.

But before the show ends, Paula, being patronizing to the bitter end, has to have the last word. Looking like she's going to cry, she says, "On behalf of the judges, I just want to say that you've been an inspiration to the entire world for your commitment, through your talent. And we all watch 'American Idol' so that we, as an audience, get to witness unique and gifted artists as you, Scott, realize a dream that nearly seems impossible. You know what? You are one classy gentleman. God bless you. We love you." Damn! If they had kept Scott one more week, and he had sung one more ballad, he might have been able to solve the problem of world peace.

Watch video of Scott MacIntyre being eliminated

Next week, the theme is "Idols at the Movies," with the seven remaining finalists performing songs of the cinema under the guidance of director Quentin Tarantino (huh?). Yes, we know he was a guest judge once, but what does he know about music, other than he likes it? On Wednesday, Jennifer Hudson performs her new single, "If This Isn't Love" and Miley Cyrus sings "The Climb" from "Hannah Montana: The Movie."

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© 2009