American Idol FinaleAnd Then There Were Two

When David Cook is prounced the Season 7 American Idol Wednesday night, the first people he needs to thank are Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul (in that order). The three stooges judges threw him under a bus Tuesday night and guaranteed him the win. The next people Cook needs to thank are his rabidly loyal fans (us included) who dialed hundreds of times to win him the crown after the three stooges judges declared him roadkill. "Hell, no, he won't go," we protested and dialed until our fingers were bloody. And nothing will be more satisfying than wiping that smug grin off of Daddy Jeff Archuleta's face tonight. There will be no joy in Mudville Murray, Utah, mighty scrawny David Archuleta has struck out.

Not that either performer was bad -- or exceedingly great for that matter. It was a fairly balanced competition talent-wise. But it was also like comparing apples with oranges. Archuleta has the more melodically beautiful almost always perfectly pitched voice, but is emotionally vacant and vapid when it comes to lyrics, and, for the most part, lacks creativity. He is a ballad singer from the David Foster (or Clay Aiken) school of music. David Cook, has a raspier rocker quality to his voice (though, as he proved with "Music of the Night," he can handle a ballad with panache). His pitch isn't always perfect, but his crafting of a tune -- from rearranging the melody to his phrasing and emotional grasp of the lyrics -- can make a grown man cry. And America wept last night, along with Cook as he valiantly tried to hold back tears upon finishing his third number.

Perhaps the tears said it all in how the two Davids differ. Archuleta cried in response to the praise from the judges, especially each time Cowell proclaimed him the winner of a round or the contest. It was as if Daddy was telling him he had been a good boy. Cook teared up before receiving any adulation. We couldn't read his mind, but imagine it was over the emotion from the touching lyrics of the aptly titled "The World I Know," from the competition finally ending, from all the sad events he has had to endure with his brother's brain cancer and yesterday's announcement of his friend and co-contestant Luke Menard's Hodgkin lymphoma, another form of cancer.

The pro-
ducers chose a boxing match scenario for the finale, set to the theme from
"Rocky." They even had Michael "Let's get ready to rumble" Buffer open the show, announcing and introducing the contestants -- at 180 pounds, David "Sugarfoot" Cook and at 100 pounds soaking wet, David "Baby Face" Archuleta -- in robes with boxing gloves on. The theme continued throughout the evening, with commentary from boxing analyst Jim Lampley and coaching from Clive "Skeletor" Davis and Andrew Lloyd Webber. The most humorous part of the opening? When Buffer intoned: "Two men, with one name and one desire -- to be crowned champion. Their prize, a heavyweight title reserved only for superstars." Funny thing though, the video at that point shows Kelly Clarkson, Chris Daughtry and Carrie Underwood. Er, did we miss something? When did Chris Daughtry win "Idol"? They'd love us to all forget Taylor Hicks' win and believe that revisionist history.

Watch video of the opening boxing sequence of the finale:


Last week, Archuleta won the coin toss and selected to perform second. So, Cook began the competition. The first song for each was selected by Clive "The Cryptkeeper" Davis. He wasn't tossing any softballs and both contestants handled his selection deftly. Cook, looking grungier than usual tonight with slightly spiked and gelled hair, received U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For," and gave a strong performance. He started onstage and ended the performance on the catwalk, looked confident and professional. It wasn't his best of the season, but it was certainly finale-worthy. He had a great final note, but we were confused when the note continued and lingered after he had dropped the mike away from his face. (BTW, the same thing happened with Syesha's exit song last week). What up producers?

Randy said, "I think it was a great way to start off this duel of 2007 (Er, Randy, if Paula is seeing the future, critiquing songs that haven't been sung yet, you, Dude, are living in the past. It's 2008, man). Very nice song choice (er, he didn't pick it). I mean, I don't know if you did everything you could do with it, but I love the scoop of the note at the end. It was hot, baby. Hot!" Paula, making her first song title analogy of the night, said, "Well, you may not have found what you're looking for, but we have found David Cook. And we need to look no further. David Cook has arrived. Amen, amen. And you're in great voice tonight." Simon said, "I thought it was phenomenal."

Watch video of David Cook singing U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For":


Davis annointed Archuleta with Elton John's "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me." John is such a skilled and prolific singer, that most of us don't realize how difficult his songs are until other people try to perform them. Could Archuleta pull it off, especially when Clay Aiken scored so famously with the same number during Season 2? He could and he did. He started a bit uncertainly and with a small amount of pitchiness, but settled in and soared through the rest of the number. We agreed with Simon that it might have been his best performance of the season.

Randy said, "This is one of the best performances of this whole season and you picked the right time to peak, baby. That was flawless (well, no) and unbelievably molten hot. Hot, crazy vocals. Crazy vocals, crazy." Paula said, "My heart's still pounding, David. I've got chills up and down arms (As Archuleta starts to cry, Randy is still yelling "Crazy" in the background). The sun is never gonna go down on you, because you bring out so much sunshine in everyone throughout the whole world in your singing. And David, that was a beautiful, beautiful, stunning performance. I'm so excited, tonight is unbelievable (Randy in the background "It's hot, hot."). Simon, trying to shush them with, "OK, OK, OK, very easy to get overexciting tonight," added, "David, I'm going to be honest with you. I thought last week you were OK. I thought tonight's performance was arguably the best you've done so far. Taking everything into account, Round 1 goes to Archuleta."

Watch video of David Archuleta singing Elton John's "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me":


We say: Round 1 went to Archuleta.

The producers smartly buried the songwriter's competition song into the middle of the Tuesday's contest. Any other spot and they would have lost their audience. Of course, the songs were sucky, but the contestants were allowed to select from the 10 songs which received the highest number of votes (those should have been easy to count, did any get more than 10?). Cook chose "Dream Big," something he could rock out. We weren't with the program -- and really couldn't make out the words over the band -- until he hit the chorus, which we thought had a fine hook and made the song commercially viable. Did we love it? Would we buy it? No. Would we listen to it again. Absolutely.

Randy said, "The song was just OK for me, but what made it really work is your voice. You were singing your face off. Whoa! He could hit those notes.What? Nice, nice." Paula said, "A song in your heart, a guitar in your hands, and we millions who sit here mesmerized by you. This is a great way to take a song we don't know and falls in love with it. Congratulations." Simon said, "Using the boxing analogy, it was a bit of a lightweight, I thought. I thought the end was OK. You made the most of what you had. I mean, bearing in mind this is supposed to be a winning song, it didn't feel like a winning moment for me. ... That was a 6½ out of 10."

Watch video of David Cook singing "Dream Big":


No surprise, Archuleta went for a syrupy ballad, the kind we expect -- and hate -- year after year. We were so bored with "In This Moment" we had trouble paying attention through the entire song. And Archuleta didn't seem to connect with the lyrics at all. It was a sickeningly sweet snooze. No surprise, the judges loved him and covered him with praise (has Randy ever said a negative word to Archuleta?)

Randy said, "Once again, I wasn't crazy about the song, but here's the deal, man. Right now, you are so in the zone, dawg, that you could sing the phone book and it would be good. So that was another hot performance." Er, Randy, this sounds familiar. Oh, that's right. It's the same thing you say every time Archuleta performs. Sheesh! Can't you even be bothered to come up with a new tongue bath for the finale? Paula said, "It's just another heartfelt performance. It doesn't matter what song you're singing. It's like you're on fire tonight. It's pure magic. And you know what? That is why you're in this spot that you're in in the finals, my dear. So congratulations." Simon said, "You definitely, definitely chose the better song there. Much more in keeping with the night. Round 2 goes to David Archuleta." David cries and we begin to understand that it's Cowell we should blame for the disgusting coronation songs. This is what he thinks is good music? Oh. But of course. He's also responsible for Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love," another piece of crap. Amazing that Mr. Teletubbie has become a zillionaire from bad taste.

Watch video of David Archuleta singing "In This Moment":


We say: Round 2 went to Cook.

The third song was con-
testant's choice. Cook chose Collec-
tive Soul's "The World I Know." Now, if you are a true Cook fan, this was a daring and praiseworthy choice. It was haunting and beautiful. We loved the tenderness and emotion he displayed, right down to the welling over eyes when he finished. If you just tuned in to watch a "finale performance" then you might have preferred, as Simon Cowell pointed out, an encore of "Hello" or "Billy Jean," or a new song that was more accessible. For those reasons alone, Cook should win. He didn't feel the need to pander to the greater audience with a more "popular" song choice. He instead remained true to himself and to those of us who will actually be buying his first CD. This is the music we want him to make, and that we'll happily buy. For those of you who would never buy a CD from an Idol contestant when the competition's become a distant memory, you probably remained unmoved. And so it goes.

Randy said, "You're showing people tonight a lot of different sides of David Cook. That was very nice sensitive side of David Cook and I love Collec-
tive Soul and I've been saying this for weeks now, I think this is definitely the kind of record that you could make and get by with. Very nice job, dude. Very nice." Paula said, "I look at you up on that stage and you're standing in your truth and you're delivering unbelivable songs with integrity and originality and I truly applaud you David Cook, I do (stands up and applauds). Simon said, "I just want to say publicly, that you are actually one of the nicest most sincere contestants we've had. It was a beautiful song, but I'm going to be honest with you. It was completely and utterly the wrong song choice for you on the night. Because what you should've done was, you should have sung 'Billie Jean' or 'Hello.' But you understand what I'm saying." When Ryan Seacrest asked Cook how he felt about Cowell's remarks, he smartly answered, "You know, for me this whole thing has been a progression, and so the way that I was looking at it was, 'why do something I've already done?' No, but, for the record, I completely understand what you're saying, so ... (at this point Simon gave him a wink)." And at this point we had to wonder if Simon's bashing of Cook all night had been a calculated move to get the troops out in force to vote for him. The reverse of his praise for Carly Smithson being her "kiss of death." We'll never know.

Watch video of David Cook singing Collective Soul's "The World I Know":


Not being nearly as brave, Archuleta did what Simon suggested Cook should have done, and sang "Imagine," considered by most everyone to be his strongest performance of the season. There is something about watching a performance for the first time and being caught unaware of how wonderful it is going to be. It never quite comes off as well the second time around. Of course, we didn't like it the first time around, and liked it even less the second time for the same reason: Archuleta does not connect emotionally to what John Lennon was writing. This is not a singer's song. It's a songwriter's song. Listen to how John Lennon sings it. He wants you to listen to the words, not the melody. It's not supposed to soar and have a dozen runs in it (more than the first time). It's supposed to hit you in the stomach and mean something to you. It did to Lennon. It's almost sacrilegious to pretty it up. And so it goes.

The judges, as expected, went nuts for it, for all the wrong reasons. Randy said, "Dude, you are so good tonight, you are exactly what this show is about. Finding the best singer that we can find. And the best singer, Season 7 IS RIGHT THERE!!!!!" Paula said, "You've left me speechless as I was when I first heard you sing this song. You were stunning tonight. You were stunning." Simon said, "At the end of the day, this show is about finding a star, and tonight I think we've witnessed one of the great finals. But in my opinion, David, you came out here tonight to win, and what we have witnessed is a knockout."

Watch video of David Archuleta singing John Lennon's "Imagine":


We say: Round 3 is a tie.

So what a shock it will be for all when David Cook is crowned tonight. According to DialIdol.com, there is NO POSSIBLE WAY Cook can lose. DialIdol.com has never been wrong in the six years it has been predicting the finale winner and Cook is 11.5% ahead of Archuleta, a huge lead by DialIdol standards. Even considering every possible margin of error, Cook is King. And we say, long live the king.

Ruben Studdard closed the show with an uninspired and forgettable rendition of "Celebrate Me Home."

Confirmed and unconfirmed spoilers for tonight's finale include:
David Cook and Mariah Carey will duet on "Always Be My Baby."
David Archuleta and Neil Diamond will duet on "America."
Seal, Donna Summer, ZZ Top, the Jonas Brothers, Kanye West and George Michael are also performing.

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© 2008

American Idol:The Top 5 Results Show

Bottom Two:
Syesha Mercado ("Hello Again," "Thank the Lord for the Night Time")
Brooke White ("I'm a Believer," "I Am ... I Said")


Eliminated:
Brooke White








Syesha Mercado probably has good reason to thank the lord for the night time, because he once again saved her during last night's "American Idol" elimination show. If we are to believe what "Idol's" producers would like us to (but we don't), Mercado has now been in the Bottom 2 or 3 five times this season -- more than any other contestant, even Kristy Lee Cook (who last night watched the show from the audience) -- yet has continued to emerge unscathed. Her endurance nearly parallels that of Kimberley Locke (who performed on the show a few weeks ago) during Season 2, who also placed in the Bottom 2 or 3 five times before making it to third-place finisher in 2003, as Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken advanced to the finale. Don't be surprised to see a repeat of that this year. Jason Castro will very likely fall to wayside next week as Mercado, David Cook and David Archuleta move forward to the Top 3, followed by the David-David finale that everybody has predicted for weeks now.

Last night Brooke White joined the list of elimi-
nated finalists. The blonde folkster, who at the beginning of the season was projected by many to make it all the way to the finale, began to tear up even before host Ryan Seacrest said her name. She collapsed into tears murmuring "yes" as he pronounced her the contestant going home this week. As her sad-faced husband watched from the audience, Seacrest, and then Mercado embraced White as she sobbed. Her tears were still flowing after her "journey video." She dabbed at her eyes, then Seacrest swabbed her damp face, as she thanked everyone. Her tears continued during her reprise of Neil Diamond's "I Am ... I Said," as the remaining four finalists surrounded her onstage and David Cook came forward and briefly placed a hand on her back to show his support. For us, it was the saddest departure to date this season and our eyes welled up watching it.

Watch video of Bottom 2 and elimination of Brooke White:


At the top of the show, Seacrest said that the finalists had received more than 45 million votes this week. Next, it was on the Top 5 singing a medley of Neil Diamond songs. Don't know whether it was the songs or the finalists, but it was awful this week, the worst medley of the season. Perhaps the lack of Carly Smithson's strong voice was a factor. We couldn't wait for it to end.

Watch video of Top 5 Neil Diamond group medley:


Back from commercial, Seacrest walking through the audience introduced this season's new "American Idol Extra" hosts, Season 6 finalist Gina Glocksen and Season 4 finalist Constantine Maroulis, but then walked right past Season 5 finalist Ace Young, though the camera did give Young a lot of face time. Seacrest also mentioned the "rumors" about Paula Abdul on the Internet, but never addressed the previous day's gaffe by the "Idol" judge. He only said the rumors weren't true (which ones?) and brushed the entire incident under what by now must be "Idol's" crowded carpet, saying Abdul's still part of the "Idol" family and that they love her. Hopefully one day someone will roll up that carpet and expose all the lies the producers have hidden under it. Are you listening Nigel Lythgoe? You can't keep everyone quiet forever. Sooner or later someone who knows everything we're not supposed to know is going to open their mouth about the dirty little games that go on behind the scenes of this so-called "reality" series named "American Idol."

To get our minds off what he had just said buried, Seacrest rushed right into the results, calling first Jason Castro, who sounded lucid for the first time all year, onstage. The night's first (staged) surprise was when Castro was sent to safety on the couch. The second was when David Archuleta followed him there. The producers better think carefully before they crown their boy wonder. He'll be a disaster in interviews. He can barely put together a sentence and when he succeeds at that he breaks down in giggles like a 12-year-old.

Next was an interminably long pimp video for Nigel Lythgoe's "So You Think You Can Dance." Hey, we love the show and have seen every episode, but is there no end to the newly long-haired Lythgoe's greed? That promo was longer than the elimination segment. Bleech! And as if that wasn't enough self-promotional commercial filler, we next learned that Ryan Lessnow won the design-your-own Coca-Cola cup, which Randy Jackson modeled for everyone.

Back to the results. Seacrest calls out David Cook. Are they going to shock us and lie that he was in the Bottom 2? No, they'll save that lie for Syesha Mercado, who scored the highest number of votes according to DiaIdol.com. Now, we concede that the Web site's tally could have been a bit inaccurate, but there was no way Mercado was in the Bottom 2, not when for the past two weeks the Web site has correctly predicted the contestant who received the least amount of votes (Carly Smithson and then Brooke White). If anyone doesn't believe that the show's producers lie about the results and stage certain events on the show, they are on drugs or in denial. Never forget: This is not considered a game show, it is considered a reality show, which means it is classed by the FCC as a script-based program and the producers can LEGALLY manipulate or change the voting results without consequence. Don't believe it? Record a segment of the show and read the teeny-tiny print at the very end.

In an amusing turn, Ryan ask David C. his reaction to Paula calling him the next American Idol. David answered that the first thing he thought about was what Simon said to Carly Smithson the week before about it being the kiss of death. A bit of comic relief before David joins the other two remaining male finalists on the couch. That left Syesha and Brooke as the Bottom 2. After chatting "the girls," up, Ryan tells them to have a seat for now, as they have other business to take care of first. As Brooke departs, she says that's fine, they'll stay as long as they can. Even Ryan cracks up at that.

Then it's time for the Star Who Just Released a New CD filler. Up at bat, Natasha Bedingfield performing the single "Pocketful of Sunshine" from her new album of the same name. As these things go, she wasn't bad, nor was the song. We'll give it another listen. After her performance she asks to go to couch and sit next to Archuleta. Ryan suggests David take her to the prom. He goes into giggle mode. Perhaps the sandbox would be more appropriate.

Watch video of Natasha Bedingfield singing "Pocketful of Sunshine":


And yet more filler. The stupid viewer call-in Q&A, which actually got good at the end, but not before we found out why Paula is the only judge that always gives contestants a break and whether Paula is going to do another video with Randy. The last question is from Tara (age 46) who asks Simon what was more memorable, kissing Paula or kissing her at the age of 9 in his backyard? Simon blushes, especially after she convinces him she really is the Tara Miller that he kissed when he was 9. Ryan asks Tara if Simon was a good kisser and she hems and haws. Simon reminds her that he was only 9 and didn't have a massive amount of experience. Paula wonders if she is over the rabies yet? Tara jokes that she has had a lot of therapy. Simon wonders if she is still cute? Tara tells Simon that he has aged well and she thinks she has, too. Simon, apparently smitten by the whole thing, tells everyone that Tara really was the first girl he ever kissed and that she was his first crush. Ryan promises that they will get to exchange phone numbers and then does a public service announcement warning kids not to start kissing at age 9.

Watch video of Q&A with Tara Miller, the first girl Simon kissed and his first crush:


Coming back from the break we watch the Ford commercial with the Top 5 singing "Catch the Wind" in an environmentally correct Earth Week-ish video featuring a Ford hybrid car and the Idols magically restoring green to the Earth while getting rid of garbage and environmentally bad things.

Watch video of the making of the Ford commercial "Catch the Wind":


Watch video of Top 5 Ford commercial "Catch the Wind":


Finally, the week's mentor, Neil Diamond, performed "Pretty Amazing Grace" from his forthcoming CD, due out on May 6, as his mom watched from the audience. After he sang, Ryan chatted with him. Diamond said the judges were a bit harsh on the contestants, that the contestants should ignore Simon, and that if they love what they are doing they should never stop ... never.

Watch video of Neil Diamond singing "Pretty Amazing Grace":


Next week, the remaining four finalists will each sing music from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The results show will feature live appearances by Maroon 5 and Season 4 runner-up Bo Bice.

MORE ON SIMON COWELL AND TARA MILLER

After that Q&A, People magazine located Tara and interviewed her. She chatted with PEOPLE about the fateful pucker.

"He'd taken me to the bottom of his garden," said Tara, whose last name is now McDonald-Smith. "It was very cute and it was very memorable. We were just kids. We didn't know what we were doing!"

As for who made the first move, Cowell's former neighbor in Radlett, Hertfordshire swears she can't remember.

"Really, I can't," McDonald-Smith insisted. "In those days there was like three channels on the television, there were no computers. We used to play spin the bottle ... and I got him a lot of the time. It was all good."

So what prompted her to reach out after all these years? "I saw him on American Idol and [I thought] wow, that's amazing," she explained. "It was just one of those 'This is Your Life'-type situations, and I thought I'd go for it. I hope I didn't embarrass him."

And, for the record, McDonald-Smith is not at all surprised that her childhood pal turned out to be TV's favorite Mr. Nasty.

Even back then "he was pretty forthcoming and said what he thought," recalled the single mom, who has three sons Connor, 17, Rory, 16, Liam, 11. "He was not too different than he is today."

Now that they've reconnected, the North California-based sales manager would welcome an in-person reunion.

"I'd love to meet up with him. I seriously would," she said. "We were good friends... and I think it would be great fun."

e-mail Idol Addict
© 2008

American Idol Top 5 PerformThese Diamonds Not Flawless

Watercooler buzz no doubt tomorrow will center on two things: Who's leaving "Idol" Wednesday night and what the hell was in Paula Abdul's Coke cup Tuesday night? Even though she did not appear inebriated or drugged, for the first time this season she was really making no sense. How so? How about reviewing a performance before it had even occurred! You see, the producers had to squeeze so many performances into the hour show (each contestant sang two selections) that they decided to save time by having the judges only critique each singer after their second song. Then they broke their own rule.

After the Top 5 all sang their first songs, Ryan Seacrest called all 5 finalists out on stage and quickly went to the judges to get an overview of Round 1. But Randy Jackson gave mini critiques to each performer. Following Jackson's lead, Paula started to critique Jason's TWO songs (remember he had only sung one at that point). Randy mumbled to her, "just on the first song, just on the first one," and Paula looked even more stupid and disoriented when she blurted out, "OMIGOD, I thought you sang twice." You could tell Ryan was getting flak through his earpiece as this was going on, and he said to her, "Just once. But Paula, you're seeing the future, baby, you're seeing the future. He's coming back." Paula: "This is hard!"

Simon Cowell tried to get things back on track by repeatedly asking Abdul, "But who is your favorite? Who is your favorite?" while Randy was telling her "Pick a person." It was ridiculous. You can see this mess at the end of the Syesha Mercado video of "Hello Again."

Of course, the Internet forum boards are crazy with theories on the Paula business this morning. Some are saying it's proof that "Idol" is rigged (ya mean ya didn't know that yet?) and that the producers tell the judges in advance what to say about each contestant. Others are saying that the judges took notes on the dress rehearsal performances, which they don't even have to attend. It's been written in many places that Cowell watches tapes of the dress rehearsals in his trailer and doesn't even pay attention to the telecast performances, especially because with all the noise in the studio he can barely hear them anyway. Last week Simon loved that because the show airs live America got to see it when Brooke stumbled on her lyrics then stopped and restarted her song. This week we love that because the show airs live Paula stumbled on her prewritten appraisals and reviewed a performance that hadn't even occurred yet.

Neil Diamond mentored the Top 5 this week and they all sang two selections from his impressively large catalog. We actually hated the tone of the whole show. Trying to fit 10 performances into 60 minutes was way too much. The show felt rushed and uncomfortable. Instead of feeling entertained, we felt like we were in a race and couldn't catch our breath. It was very unsettling.

Jason Castro performed
"Forever in Blue Jeans" and "September Morn." We wish we could say that he was phoning in the performances, but there wasn't enough enthusiasm to believe he even dialed the phone. Castro seemed even more bored performing than we were watching him. At least people singing karaoke in a bar seem to care what the crowd thinks about them. Jason acts as if he doesn't. Case in point, when he was rehearsing with Diamond, he not only forgot his lyrics, he brought the wrong lyrics for the song he was singing. What a stoner. After his second performance his excuse for his lousy singing was he had started choking right before he went on and it screwed him up. Uh-huh. If he isn't kicked off tonight it really will be a travesty, especially when he should have been given the boot last week. How can those silly girls keep voting him back just because of his dreadlocks and blue eyes? Even Sanjaya Malakar was gone by now last year.

After Castro's first performance Randy had said, "It was just OK. Better than last week, just OK." After his second performance, Jackson said, "Dude, look check it out man ... that was just another OK whatever performance for me. Definitely not the best." Paula said after Round 1, "Jason, the first song I loved hearing your lower register, which we never really hear. Your second song, um, I felt like your usual charm was missing for me. It kinda left me a little empty. And the two songs made me feel that you're not fighting hard enough to get into the Top 4." After Jason actually performed song two she said, "I felt you took kind of the same liberty on both songs, now. And I feel like it's safe, and you need to get outside your comfort zone. Come on! Come on! Fight. Fight." After Round 1 Simon told Jason he was forgettable. After Round 2, Cowell said, "Oh Jason, come on, we don't recognize you at the moment. For the last two weeks, this is not the Jason we put into the competition. There was no attempt to make the arrangement your own. You struggled through both songs, they were both, in my opinion, forgettable and I think you're going to look back at tonight and go, 'I don't know who this person is.' " (we do, a L-O-S-E-R)

Watch video of Jason Castro singing "Forever in Blue Jeans":


Watch video of Jason Castro singing "September Morn":


David Cook selected two of Diamond's more obscure entries, "I'm Alive" and the even more obscure "All I Really Need Is You." Although the judges greatly preferred his second song to the first, we thought they were both just OK. Unless the studio versions are very much better than what we saw last night, we won't be dialing them up much on our iPod. Which is not to say they were bad, we've just seen David Cook shine so fiercely in the past few weeks (and before) that, for us, these performances paled by comparison. Perhaps this week for him it did come down to song choice and we were less than thrilled with his.

For Round 1, Randy told him, "Very good, in the zone, very strong, doing your thing." After Round 2, he said, "You rocked the house again tonight ... blazing! blazing! blazing!" After her Jason blunder, Paula tried to say that she had mixed up David's notes with Jason's, with this attempted lousy save, "You know what, it's your notes, David, you were fantastic (although the notes she had just read were negative, what an idiot!) and it was a song that wasn't known." After the second song, she told him, "David I'm so proud of you. You not only picked two songs that are less familiar than Neil Diamond's hits, you are the only one that was able to pull that off. I feel like I'm already looking at the American Idol." Simon pronounced Round 1 "just above average" and said after Round 2, "I thought the first song was OK, I thought the second song was brilliant. You actually made it feel like that song was written this year, and that was the point I was trying to make to Jason. You changed the arrangement, you made it work for you. That was smart. Well done."

Watch video of David Cook singing "I'm Alive":


Watch video of David Cook singing "All I Really Need Is You":


Brooke White, surprisingly chose "I'm a Believer," and, not so surprisingly, "I Am ... I Said." She accompanied herself on guitar for the former and piano on the latter. Her second song worked fairly well. The best that could be said about her first is that at least she was having a good time -- even if we weren't. For us, her performance of "I'm a Believer," originally written by Diamond for The Monkees, was reminiscent of Brooke's Top 10 performance of The Beatles' "Here Comes the Sun," wearing her yellow banana dress. It was pretty much a disaster and looked like something from a kid's party. We imagine that's what nanny Brooke is like with the twins she used to take care of. We were waiting for Barney to come onstage next. Maybe Brooke's just not meant to sing happy songs professionally. However, her take on "I Am ... I Said" was earnest and heartfelt. We wished she hadn't taken Diamond's suggestion to change "New York" to "Arizona" in the song to "make it her own." It not only didn't make it her own, it sounded awkward and stupid with the rest of the lyrics, which say:

Well I'm New York City born and raised
But nowadays, I'm lost between two shores
L.A.'s fine, but it ain't home
New York's home, but it ain't mine no more

Arizona and L.A. are hardly between two shores. Oh, well. He was the mentor. Otherwise her second performance, though not her best of the season, returned her to the mode which she does do best. That she is at the bottom of DialIdol.com this week is wrong. No one was worse than Jason. In fact, Brooke was no worse than David Archuleta. She and David should be tied for the second position in the Bottom 2.

On the first go-round, Randy told Brooke, "Better than last week. Still a little karaoke for me." After her second song, he told her, "Nice job." Paula, who didn't comment on Brooke during Round 1, decided to make up for it by acting like she was back on drugs with her appraisal during Round 2. We saw Simon whisper something to Paula just before she spoke and suspect he told her to say this, because it made absolutely no sense and he loves planting non sequiturs in the head of his favorite thimblebrain just before she speaks. Paula said, "Brooke, I think that what you just did, as opposed to the first song, I felt like you did have fun, but it was right after 'American Idol Gives Back' (?????? HUH ?????? ) and there was that whole video with 'I'm a Believer' (yeah, so, what did that have to do with anything?), but this, when you come back here with this song, it does show your vulnerability, it is how you connect with the audience. Everyone loves who you are and that works. Works, works works." Aspirin please. Simon initially called her first song "a nightmare." After song two, he said, "Brooke, I really, really hated the first song, because it was sort of like a girls' night out at a karaoke bar, wasn't it? But this, this is the Brooke we like, sitting behind the piano, singing a very good song. It wasn't incredible, but it was a million times better than the first song. Well done."

Watch video of Brooke White singing "I'm a Believer":


Watch video of Brooke White singing "I Am ... I Said":


We're pretty sure that David Archuleta's now infamous dad, Jeff, is fairly quaking in his boots, as his prodigy -- or as Paula amusingly called him "savant" -- son slips from "the one to beat," to the Bottom 3, as David Cook and now Syesha Mercado race ahead of him. And, we think, it's probably all Daddy Dearest's fault. The past two weeks Archuleta has been shaking up the arrangements of the songs he's sung, -- a la David Cook -- a deed, we're sure, that can be attributed to daddy, who fancies himself a musician. Only thing is, it hasn't been working. His first song, "Sweet Caroline" was so messed up, it was barely recognizable and nowhere as good as the original. Archuleta's second song, stolen straight from the Kristy Lee Cook patriotic playbook, was "America," and even this was manipulated, with David singing "let freedom ring" at the end, which doesn't exist in the Neil Diamond lyrics. If you believe DialIdol's stats though, it not only didn't rally the troops, it didn't even rally the country's Conservatives behind little Davy this week. Truth be told you could hear a better version of the song at Disney World. Ha! Back off Daddy Dearest.

Of course, Randy who totally pimps Archuleta every week, good or bad, said after Round 1, "Da bomb. Brilliant" Later, he told him, "You are definitely in the zone right now. Another good performance, baby." After Round 2, Paula told him, "This was the absolute perfect song for you to sing. David, your voice is so on point. I just want to see that joy, and that spirit, and that prodigy and that little (idiot?) savant I used to see. I love you, I love you. You were brilliant. Have fun. Simon told David after Round 1, "I thought it was amateurish." After Round 2, almost repeating word for word what he had told Kristy Lee Cook weeks earlier after she sang Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA," Cowell said, "Well, David, that was a smart choice of song. I've got to hand it to you, that was clever. It ticked all boxes, didn't it? ... it was absolutely the right choice."

Watch video of David Archuleta singing "Sweet Caroline":


Watch video of David Archuleta singing "America":


The most pleasant surprise of the evening was Syesha Mercado, who is blossoming into a consummate performer after dragging her feet for the better part of the competition. She not only has come into her own, she arguably had the two best performances of the evening, beginning with the tender and evocative "Hello Again," which was followed by her expressive and rousing, get-on-your-feet-and-clap-your- hands rendition of "Thank the Lord for the Night Time." Although we had never heard the latter, after the show we listened to Diamond's version and, believe it or not, Mercado's version kills Neil's version. No wonder Diamond was so enthusiastic about Syesha in the video. Voters at DialIdol.com, where she sits in the No. 1 position, apparently agreed with us. It's an astounding accomplishment, especially at this point in the competition. In all honesty, we thought she'd be eliminated this week. If she is, well, the producers will outright prove the competition is rigged. A final note: Syesha looked stunning last night. The lady seems to get more beautiful every week.

After her first performance, Randy told her, "You [sic] definitely kind of in the zone, too. I thought it was strong. It was very nice vocals. It was strong, it wasn't amazing, but it was strong." Later, he said, "I think you [sic] finally realizing who you are. I think we've been saying it all along. That is also in the zone. I mean, that could have been in some play, it could have been on Broadway, it's still that carry over for me and I like you in this. This is where I like you." Paula said, "I didn't get to say anything on the first song you sang (well, you should have been lucid), so I want to say quickly, first song: I thought that that vulnerable side, as I always say, that touch to your voice, is always beautiful and that's your magic. Having said that, on your second song, it shows a whole different side and that's your performance theater theatrical place, and then when you're pop singing you could be a toss-up between Corinne Bailey Rae and Minnie Ripperton. You've got that softness in your voice." After Round 1, Simon told Syesha "I thought it was old-fashioned." After Round 2, he said, "I think what you demonstrated there again Syesha is that you are a very good actress/singer. I think, however, you may be in trouble tonight." This had all the earmarks of the producers having Simon say that because they planned to eliminate her, especially when Syesha asked him why, and he answered, "I'll tell you why. Because there's only five of you left, so it was a calculated guess. I don't think you had a really memorable second song, like some of the others tonight." Who? Like Jason? Give us a break. That was a total BS setup to eliminate her and then say, "See? Simon predicted it." Hopefully, the DialIdol.com results will force the producers to do the right thing. Especially once they realize that Syesha's a marketable commodity -- way more so than Jason and/or Brooke. Usually their noses for $$$$ lead the way, so hopefully Syesha is safe.

Watch video of Syesha Mercado singing "Hello Again":


Watch video of Syesha Mercado singing "Thank the Lord for the Night Time":


Best: Syesha Mercado
Worst: Jason Castro
Bottom Two: Jason and Brooke/David Archulta (tie)

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© 2008

American Idol:The Top 11 Results Show

Bottom Three:
Carly Smithson ("Blackbird")
Kristy Lee Cook ("You've Got to Hide Your Love Away")
Amanda Overmyer ("Back in the U.S.S.R.")



Eliminated:
Amanda Overmyer







Watch video of Amanda Overmyer elimination:

At the top of the show, Ryan Seacrest announced this season's mentors: Dolly Parton (who just released her latest CD, "Backwoods Barbie"), Mariah Carey (whose next CD, "E=MC2," releases on April 15), Andrew Lloyd Webber (currently appearing on the BBC 1 show 'I'd Do Anything,' in which he is conducting a search for stars to take on the leads in a new production of "Oliver") and Neil Diamond (whose new album, "Home Before Dark," releases on May 6). Are you beginning to see a trend here? Got a new CD or something else to promote? Dial 1-555-IDOL-PRODUCERS.

Still, we have to give credit to "Idol's" producers for checking out our exclusive poll that ran from the middle of last season until January 2008, where we asked our readers to vote on whose songbook they wanted to see featured with that person mentoring on the show. The producers apparently weren't able to get your most popular choice, Carole King, but they were able to snag two other of your most popular choices to appear.

Here are your results:

Musically, the show gets off to an inauspicious beginning with audio problems during the Top 11 Beatles medley. First the audio starts fading while Jason Castro and David Cook sing their section of "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." Next Ramiele Malubay joins Brooke White for "Here, There and Everywhere," but only Brooke's microphone is working. We're beginning to think it's going to be a very long hour (and, in fact, it was. The show ran over to 62 minutes. Who knew there was that much fluffy filler in the world?)

Watch video of Top 11 Beatles Medley:


Part of the fluffy filler included not only the week's Ford commercial by the Top 11, but also a video of the making of the week's Ford commercial. Does Ford have to pay double for the ad time this week?

Watch video of Top 11 Ford commercial "Should I Stay or Should I Go":

And just when you think it can't get any fluffier -- or stupider -- we come to this year's lamest segment, the viewer call-in Q&A. Someone needs to tell the producers that this segment is even worse than last season's "Man/Woman/Child on the Street" interviews by Ryan Seacrest. Those were dazzlingly entertaining by comparison! Simon Cowell was asked why he spends so much on cars and so little on clothes, a question Cowell called "rude." Simon and Paula Abdul were asked if they would considering filming a sequel to their kiss scene from Season 2 (He says "yes," because Paula is a good kisser. Paula never got to answer). Ramiele was asked what the last song she downloaded to her iPod was (R. Kelly's "I'm a Flirt") and Michael Johns was asked if his "Idol" experience has been everything he thought it would be (yes, and more. It's been very stressful). Wow! How illuminating.

Watch video of stupid viewer call-in Q&A.

We are treated to shown clips of Kellie Pickler's progression from roller-skating waitress at Sonic to post-"Idol" breast-augmented country singer. Ryan introduces the video with a snide double-entendre about how everything in her life has gotten bigger. Kellie then sings "Red High Heels," a seemingly odd choice as it was her very first release from "Small Town Girl." Currently touring with Rascal Flatts, Pickler reveals that she is working on her "sophomore" album. She looks slim, stylish, young and pretty and about a million times better than she did during her Season 6 appearance (bottom picture in blue dress). The "Idol" producers most love Kellie. Even though she finished in sixth place during Season 5, she has rated two post-"Idol" appearances, whereas Katharine McPhee, that season's runner-up, was snubbed by the show until last week.

Watch video of Kellie Pickler performing "Red High Heels":


And finally, just prior to the elimination, the show does its weekly pimp spot for this year's "Idol Gives Back" on April 9. This week it's a clip of Elliott Yamin and Fantasia in Angola distributing mosquito nets. Elliott gets all verklempt when a woman names her newborn for him. OK, it was touching and we verklempt, too. Sue us! We've also learned, though Ryan strangely didn't announce it, that Ellen DeGeneres will again be cohosting the show this year. DeGeneres will host from the Kodak Theatre with Seacrest hosting from the "Idol" stage.

The updated list of performers includes Maroon 5, Heart, Gloria Estefan, Boyz II Men, The Clark Brothers, Bono, Brad Pitt, Reese Witherspoon, Miley Cyrus, Mariah Carey, Eli Manning, Peyton Manning, Fergie, Chris Daughtry, Carrie Underwood, Annie Lennox, John Legend and Snoop Dogg, with many more to come. This year's event will raise awareness and funds to benefit six charities: the Children’s Defense Fund, The Global Fund, Make It Right, Malaria No More, Save The Children and the Children’s Health Fund.

Watch Elliott Yamin, Fantasia in Angola video:


Next week, the Top 10 finalists perform songs from the year they were born. On Wednesday night, Season 2 finalist Kimberley Locke will perform her new single, "Fall."

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© 2008