American Idol FinaleAnd the Winner Is ...

DAVID COOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh what a night! Victory was sweet and grand and a bit teary (for us as well). David Cook took the title with a 12 million vote margin. We now feel all the time spent hitting the redial button at least 150 times was time well spent. When we heard that Ryan Seacrest had announced Wednesday morning on his KIIS-FM radio show that 97.5 million votes had been cast and that one contestant had received 56 percent and the other 44 percent, we knew that Cook was golden. We had done the math ourselves after seeing the DialIdol.com results and those were exactly the numbers we came up with after seeing the vote spread. Which not only means DialIdol.com was right -- they were also damn accurate. We knew that unless The Evil Puppeteer (Nigel Lythgoe) and crew were going to commit a huge lie, that David Cook was the winner for sure. WooooooooooooDamnHoooooooooooooo!!!

Right before the Big Announcement, Ryan went back to judges one last time for their final thoughts.

Randy Jackson said, "Great, great Season 7, man. You dudes brought it down to the wire. I'm so happy that it's the two of you standing there. This has been one of the strongest years ever and welcome to The Duel. You're both winners, baby. Both."

Paula Abdul started with her regular blather: "I'm honored and proud to be sitting here. You two are truly amazing. It's odd that it's called the finale when it's anything but a final. It's the beginning of the start of the destinies of your careers. I'm so proud." But ended with a rather touching statement that sounded as if it came straight from "The Wizard of Oz": "And just remember, sometimes we think it's all about winning, but it's the things sometimes that we lose that remind us how truly special we are as people. Keep it up."

But the cherry on top of the whipped cream was watching Simon Cowell backpedal so fast that he almost rocketed out of the theater after Seacrest told him that at times during the season he had been harsh on "these Davids" and asked what Cowell thought after he had rewatched Tuesday's performance show (this whole thing felt very staged). Cowell said: "I want to congratulate both of you last night because, um, I thought on the night that it was a terrific show. I went back home to watch it. (begin backpedal ...) It wasn't quite so clear cut as we called it (Paula to Simon: Ye-ah"). And in fact, um, David, um, I will take this opportunity to apologize, because I think I was verging on disrespectful with you. And I don't think you deserved that because over the season, both of you, what I liked about both of you was that you're "triers" (did he get that term out of the George Bush playbook?). And you've both given it your best. You're very nice people. And for the first time ever, I don't really care who wins. I think you've both been terrific." (Woo, great, complete backpedal. That covered all of his bases, teehee).

Watch video of David Cook being crowned the new American Idol and singing "Time of My Life":


The show opened with Top 12 and the "So You Think You Can Dance" dancers performing to "Get Ready." After their joint performance on "Idol Gives Back," we were looking forward to this reunion, but it lacked the pizzazz that their IGB Rihanna number had.

Watch video of show opening and the Top 12 singing "Get Ready":


Next, Cook and Archuleta dueted on the Nickelback song "Hero" from the film "Spiderman." Meh. The harmony was not terrific and the song was much more suited to Cook (who is rumored to have suggested it to the producers) than it was to Archuleta.

Watch video of David Cook and David Archuleta singing "Hero":


And what would an Idol finale be without a cross-promotion to another Fox property? Er, perhaps better? Tonight, we have to sit through the insufferable promo for Mike Myers forthcoming film, "The Love Guru." This involves footage of The Davids seeing an advance of the film and then doing a filmed skit with Myers in his Guru Pitkha persona. Afterward, still in costume, Myers tortures us with a bit more of his Guru schtick before mercifully departing the stage.

Watch video of David Cook and David Archuleta with Guru Pitkha (Mike Myers):


The worst number of the night award went to Syesha Mercado and Seal duetting "Waiting for You." Two singers take a lousy song then make it off pitch and out of sync with each other, what a treat! Not. It was hard to sit through and actually painful to listen to. This certainly didn't enhance Mercado's career any.

Watch video of Syesha Mercado and Seal singing "Waiting for You":


Next, Jason Castro reminds us why you should rest on your laurels and not re-sing something you've previously sung to near-perfection. He encores his true "moment" from the season, "Hallelujah," and, well, it's nowhere as good as it was the first time around. The final high note breaks painfully.

Watch video of Jason Castro singing "Hallelujah":


The Ford commercial, set to "Let the Good Times Roll," was actually a compilation reel of all the Ford ads from Season 7. Back to the show and, as expected, Ryan, with The Davids onstage, has two sets of car keys to new ... Mustangs? Nope. New Ford Escape Hybrids. Hmmmm. We know this was supposed to be the "green" version of the finale, and we're all for saving the planet, but two guys -- one 17, the other 25? Wethinks they'd rather be racing around in Mustangs. Besides, they (unlike us) will never have to worry about the price of gas again.

Watch video of Ford commercial "Let the Good Times Roll":


A very bizarre segment with the six female finalists singing a Donna Summer medley, after which Summer joins them onstage to sing her new single, "Stamp Your Feet." Summer has to be escorted down the stairs, with two guys each holding one of her hands as they descend. Her wig isn't the best and she's gotten heavier with age, but when she breaks into "Last Dance" she proves the pipes are still powerful. Great upbeat ending, with Syesha getting a little more face time with Summer and loving it. Meanwhile, what was up with Amanda Overmyer? She looked pissed and uncomfortable and sounded pretty crappy. Yep, good thing she won't be on the tour.

Watch video of 6 female contestants and Donna Summer singing Donna Summer medley:


This was followed by one of the better numbers of the night, a rousing, well-done rendition of Joe Cocker's "The Letter" sung by Carly Smithson and Michael Johns. They were great dueting together and reminded us, as Ryan pointed out, that they had left the competition way too soon.

Watch video of Carly Smithson and Michael Johns singing "The Letter":


Time for another "humor" break. He was such a smash trashing Simon at IGB, that the producers had Jimmy Kimmel return. His best joke? "Hey maybe you guys can help me with this. I valet parked outside. How much do I tip Sanjaya?" Cut to Sanjaya Malakar in the audience LHAO. Most of the rest of his jokes fell kind of flat. Maybe he should stick with interviewing the eliminated "Dancing with the Stars" contestants.

Watch video of Jimmy Kimmel ridiculing Sanjaya, Ryan Seacrest et al:


The Top 6 male contestants perform a Bryan Adams medley, after which the now gristly and gnarly looking Adams joins them onstage. Man, we knew he needed a heavy-duty dermabrasion, but we never noticed that gap between his front teeth before. It was as bad as Alfred E. Neuman's. But we love Bryan, anyway.

Watch video of 6 male contestants and Bryan Adams singing Bryan Adams medley:


As we come back from commercial, Jordin Sparks does a filmed pitch for the new "American Idol" attraction that's opening later this year at Disney World. The public can live the "Idol" experience there by singing and competing, with each day's winner earning a spot at the head of the line for one of next season's audition cities.

David Cook takes the stage with ZZ Top, who haven't changed in appearance in 40 years and still look like distant relative of Cousin Itt, for a satisfying rendition of "Sharp Dressed Man." After the performance, Ryan goes to the remote of Mikalah Gordon in Kansas City to see the hometown reaction of Cook's fans.

Watch video of David Cook and ZZ Top singing "Sharp Dressed Man":


This is followed by a rather sweet duet by Graham Nash and Brooke White singing "Teach Your Children Well." White was in her element, singing the kind of music she loves. It was a warm and fuzzy moment.

Watch video of Graham Nash and Brooke White singing "Teach Your Children Well":


Another commercial break, and wait! Is that David Archuleta doing a commercial for "Guitar Hero" mimicing Tom Cruise in "Risky Business"? Man, Daddy Archuleta wasted no time getting his baby boy some outside revenue. Is that even allowed by "Idol" rules? Yikes!

Back from commercial and the Jonas Brothers take the stage. The mosh pit goes crazy.

Watch video of the Jonas Brothers performing:


Another filler segment that had potential then fell flat. Ryan takes us back to some of the memorably bad auditions from Season 7. We laugh at some of the really horrific ones and then come to Renaldo "I Am Your Brother" Lapuz, who -- no surprise -- is here to relive the memory with us. But the producers go off the deep end. It was funny when the whole thing happened spontaneously at the auditions. Now they have Lapuz accompanied by the USC marching band and cheerleaders, storming down the theater's aisles to join him onstage. It all goes bad. They're totally out of sync with each other. When Paula and Randy opt to join them (Simon smartly remained in his seat), it only gets worse. They can't shut Renaldo up and have to go to a commercial to clear the stage.

Watch video of bad auditions and Renaldo Lapuz singing with the USC Band and cheerleaders:


It's time to spotlight David Archuleta. He sings "Apologize" with OneRepublic, and it's sounding real good until David has to go to the really high note and it's out of his register. He uses a lower key next time around, and overall it was a pleasing duet. Archuleta joins Ryan for a look at what's happening in Utah. Matt Rogers is there with both his paternal and maternal grandfathers. Jeff Archuleta looks like he's getting a kick out of his father being interviewed. David's maternal grandfather speaks Spanish and Matt needs a (pretty, young) translator.

Watch video of David Archuleta and OneRepublic singing "Apologize":

Jordin Sparks, proving she's over her recent health crisis, performs a very peppy version of "One Step at a Time." We're glad to see that she has refused to be pressured by Hollywood to turn into a stick, and has seemingly maintained the same weight she had when she last graced the "Idol" stage. However, we hated the gold lamé dress (all wrong for her) and weren't that crazy about the song, either.

Watch video of Jordin Sparks singing "One Step at a Time":


A bit more comedy. Instead of a "dead Elvis" routine, they used the same technology to merge an early Gladys Knight in a spoof audition session with the Pips, played by Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. It was fun, but not hilarious.

Watch video of Gladys Knight singing "Midnight Train to Georgia" with Pips Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr.:


Powerhouse Carrie Underwood takes the stage in the shortest dress of the evening to perform her new single, "Last Name." It's the same type of crossover country-pop as "Before He Cheats," but not quite as good. Still, we expect it'll chart satisfactorily.

Watch video of Carrie Underwood singing "Last Name":


For the final number, the top 12 perform a George Michael medley. First the girls do "Faith," then the guys do "Father Figure," with David Hernandez going almost sotto voce and breaking into a huge grin when he hit the word "naked" in the lyric "For just one moment, to be bold and naked at your side." Who did he throw that smile at? The entire group sang "Freedom," then introduced George Michael, who both looked and sounded creepy. The latter, we find out, can be attributed to a cold. The former? Perhaps to those oversized bug-like sunglasses that make him look like an aging diva. And to think we once had a crush on him. He sang "Praying for Time".

Watch video of Top 12 singing George Michael medley and George Michael singing "Praying for Time":


And finally the announcement. David Archuleta looks neither surprised nor upset. He seems genuinely happy for Cook. Cook, on his part, asks the audience to give it up for Archuleta and keeps an arm around him. Cook is joined onstage by his mother and brother Andrew. Cook blames it all on Andrew. Later, on the catwalk, singing the retchy new "coronation" song, "Time of My Life," that includes lyrics about a magic rainbow, Cook again calls Archuleta over and puts an arm around him. They appear to have a very brotherly relationship. It's nice. The fireworks go off, the confetti drops, Cook finishes singing and drops his face in his hand again, crying. We close with Andrew mouthing to the camera, "That's my brother." It sure is.

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© 2008

American Idol FinaleAnd Then There Were Two

When David Cook is prounced the Season 7 American Idol Wednesday night, the first people he needs to thank are Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul (in that order). The three stooges judges threw him under a bus Tuesday night and guaranteed him the win. The next people Cook needs to thank are his rabidly loyal fans (us included) who dialed hundreds of times to win him the crown after the three stooges judges declared him roadkill. "Hell, no, he won't go," we protested and dialed until our fingers were bloody. And nothing will be more satisfying than wiping that smug grin off of Daddy Jeff Archuleta's face tonight. There will be no joy in Mudville Murray, Utah, mighty scrawny David Archuleta has struck out.

Not that either performer was bad -- or exceedingly great for that matter. It was a fairly balanced competition talent-wise. But it was also like comparing apples with oranges. Archuleta has the more melodically beautiful almost always perfectly pitched voice, but is emotionally vacant and vapid when it comes to lyrics, and, for the most part, lacks creativity. He is a ballad singer from the David Foster (or Clay Aiken) school of music. David Cook, has a raspier rocker quality to his voice (though, as he proved with "Music of the Night," he can handle a ballad with panache). His pitch isn't always perfect, but his crafting of a tune -- from rearranging the melody to his phrasing and emotional grasp of the lyrics -- can make a grown man cry. And America wept last night, along with Cook as he valiantly tried to hold back tears upon finishing his third number.

Perhaps the tears said it all in how the two Davids differ. Archuleta cried in response to the praise from the judges, especially each time Cowell proclaimed him the winner of a round or the contest. It was as if Daddy was telling him he had been a good boy. Cook teared up before receiving any adulation. We couldn't read his mind, but imagine it was over the emotion from the touching lyrics of the aptly titled "The World I Know," from the competition finally ending, from all the sad events he has had to endure with his brother's brain cancer and yesterday's announcement of his friend and co-contestant Luke Menard's Hodgkin lymphoma, another form of cancer.

The pro-
ducers chose a boxing match scenario for the finale, set to the theme from
"Rocky." They even had Michael "Let's get ready to rumble" Buffer open the show, announcing and introducing the contestants -- at 180 pounds, David "Sugarfoot" Cook and at 100 pounds soaking wet, David "Baby Face" Archuleta -- in robes with boxing gloves on. The theme continued throughout the evening, with commentary from boxing analyst Jim Lampley and coaching from Clive "Skeletor" Davis and Andrew Lloyd Webber. The most humorous part of the opening? When Buffer intoned: "Two men, with one name and one desire -- to be crowned champion. Their prize, a heavyweight title reserved only for superstars." Funny thing though, the video at that point shows Kelly Clarkson, Chris Daughtry and Carrie Underwood. Er, did we miss something? When did Chris Daughtry win "Idol"? They'd love us to all forget Taylor Hicks' win and believe that revisionist history.

Watch video of the opening boxing sequence of the finale:


Last week, Archuleta won the coin toss and selected to perform second. So, Cook began the competition. The first song for each was selected by Clive "The Cryptkeeper" Davis. He wasn't tossing any softballs and both contestants handled his selection deftly. Cook, looking grungier than usual tonight with slightly spiked and gelled hair, received U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For," and gave a strong performance. He started onstage and ended the performance on the catwalk, looked confident and professional. It wasn't his best of the season, but it was certainly finale-worthy. He had a great final note, but we were confused when the note continued and lingered after he had dropped the mike away from his face. (BTW, the same thing happened with Syesha's exit song last week). What up producers?

Randy said, "I think it was a great way to start off this duel of 2007 (Er, Randy, if Paula is seeing the future, critiquing songs that haven't been sung yet, you, Dude, are living in the past. It's 2008, man). Very nice song choice (er, he didn't pick it). I mean, I don't know if you did everything you could do with it, but I love the scoop of the note at the end. It was hot, baby. Hot!" Paula, making her first song title analogy of the night, said, "Well, you may not have found what you're looking for, but we have found David Cook. And we need to look no further. David Cook has arrived. Amen, amen. And you're in great voice tonight." Simon said, "I thought it was phenomenal."

Watch video of David Cook singing U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For":


Davis annointed Archuleta with Elton John's "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me." John is such a skilled and prolific singer, that most of us don't realize how difficult his songs are until other people try to perform them. Could Archuleta pull it off, especially when Clay Aiken scored so famously with the same number during Season 2? He could and he did. He started a bit uncertainly and with a small amount of pitchiness, but settled in and soared through the rest of the number. We agreed with Simon that it might have been his best performance of the season.

Randy said, "This is one of the best performances of this whole season and you picked the right time to peak, baby. That was flawless (well, no) and unbelievably molten hot. Hot, crazy vocals. Crazy vocals, crazy." Paula said, "My heart's still pounding, David. I've got chills up and down arms (As Archuleta starts to cry, Randy is still yelling "Crazy" in the background). The sun is never gonna go down on you, because you bring out so much sunshine in everyone throughout the whole world in your singing. And David, that was a beautiful, beautiful, stunning performance. I'm so excited, tonight is unbelievable (Randy in the background "It's hot, hot."). Simon, trying to shush them with, "OK, OK, OK, very easy to get overexciting tonight," added, "David, I'm going to be honest with you. I thought last week you were OK. I thought tonight's performance was arguably the best you've done so far. Taking everything into account, Round 1 goes to Archuleta."

Watch video of David Archuleta singing Elton John's "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me":


We say: Round 1 went to Archuleta.

The producers smartly buried the songwriter's competition song into the middle of the Tuesday's contest. Any other spot and they would have lost their audience. Of course, the songs were sucky, but the contestants were allowed to select from the 10 songs which received the highest number of votes (those should have been easy to count, did any get more than 10?). Cook chose "Dream Big," something he could rock out. We weren't with the program -- and really couldn't make out the words over the band -- until he hit the chorus, which we thought had a fine hook and made the song commercially viable. Did we love it? Would we buy it? No. Would we listen to it again. Absolutely.

Randy said, "The song was just OK for me, but what made it really work is your voice. You were singing your face off. Whoa! He could hit those notes.What? Nice, nice." Paula said, "A song in your heart, a guitar in your hands, and we millions who sit here mesmerized by you. This is a great way to take a song we don't know and falls in love with it. Congratulations." Simon said, "Using the boxing analogy, it was a bit of a lightweight, I thought. I thought the end was OK. You made the most of what you had. I mean, bearing in mind this is supposed to be a winning song, it didn't feel like a winning moment for me. ... That was a 6½ out of 10."

Watch video of David Cook singing "Dream Big":


No surprise, Archuleta went for a syrupy ballad, the kind we expect -- and hate -- year after year. We were so bored with "In This Moment" we had trouble paying attention through the entire song. And Archuleta didn't seem to connect with the lyrics at all. It was a sickeningly sweet snooze. No surprise, the judges loved him and covered him with praise (has Randy ever said a negative word to Archuleta?)

Randy said, "Once again, I wasn't crazy about the song, but here's the deal, man. Right now, you are so in the zone, dawg, that you could sing the phone book and it would be good. So that was another hot performance." Er, Randy, this sounds familiar. Oh, that's right. It's the same thing you say every time Archuleta performs. Sheesh! Can't you even be bothered to come up with a new tongue bath for the finale? Paula said, "It's just another heartfelt performance. It doesn't matter what song you're singing. It's like you're on fire tonight. It's pure magic. And you know what? That is why you're in this spot that you're in in the finals, my dear. So congratulations." Simon said, "You definitely, definitely chose the better song there. Much more in keeping with the night. Round 2 goes to David Archuleta." David cries and we begin to understand that it's Cowell we should blame for the disgusting coronation songs. This is what he thinks is good music? Oh. But of course. He's also responsible for Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love," another piece of crap. Amazing that Mr. Teletubbie has become a zillionaire from bad taste.

Watch video of David Archuleta singing "In This Moment":


We say: Round 2 went to Cook.

The third song was con-
testant's choice. Cook chose Collec-
tive Soul's "The World I Know." Now, if you are a true Cook fan, this was a daring and praiseworthy choice. It was haunting and beautiful. We loved the tenderness and emotion he displayed, right down to the welling over eyes when he finished. If you just tuned in to watch a "finale performance" then you might have preferred, as Simon Cowell pointed out, an encore of "Hello" or "Billy Jean," or a new song that was more accessible. For those reasons alone, Cook should win. He didn't feel the need to pander to the greater audience with a more "popular" song choice. He instead remained true to himself and to those of us who will actually be buying his first CD. This is the music we want him to make, and that we'll happily buy. For those of you who would never buy a CD from an Idol contestant when the competition's become a distant memory, you probably remained unmoved. And so it goes.

Randy said, "You're showing people tonight a lot of different sides of David Cook. That was very nice sensitive side of David Cook and I love Collec-
tive Soul and I've been saying this for weeks now, I think this is definitely the kind of record that you could make and get by with. Very nice job, dude. Very nice." Paula said, "I look at you up on that stage and you're standing in your truth and you're delivering unbelivable songs with integrity and originality and I truly applaud you David Cook, I do (stands up and applauds). Simon said, "I just want to say publicly, that you are actually one of the nicest most sincere contestants we've had. It was a beautiful song, but I'm going to be honest with you. It was completely and utterly the wrong song choice for you on the night. Because what you should've done was, you should have sung 'Billie Jean' or 'Hello.' But you understand what I'm saying." When Ryan Seacrest asked Cook how he felt about Cowell's remarks, he smartly answered, "You know, for me this whole thing has been a progression, and so the way that I was looking at it was, 'why do something I've already done?' No, but, for the record, I completely understand what you're saying, so ... (at this point Simon gave him a wink)." And at this point we had to wonder if Simon's bashing of Cook all night had been a calculated move to get the troops out in force to vote for him. The reverse of his praise for Carly Smithson being her "kiss of death." We'll never know.

Watch video of David Cook singing Collective Soul's "The World I Know":


Not being nearly as brave, Archuleta did what Simon suggested Cook should have done, and sang "Imagine," considered by most everyone to be his strongest performance of the season. There is something about watching a performance for the first time and being caught unaware of how wonderful it is going to be. It never quite comes off as well the second time around. Of course, we didn't like it the first time around, and liked it even less the second time for the same reason: Archuleta does not connect emotionally to what John Lennon was writing. This is not a singer's song. It's a songwriter's song. Listen to how John Lennon sings it. He wants you to listen to the words, not the melody. It's not supposed to soar and have a dozen runs in it (more than the first time). It's supposed to hit you in the stomach and mean something to you. It did to Lennon. It's almost sacrilegious to pretty it up. And so it goes.

The judges, as expected, went nuts for it, for all the wrong reasons. Randy said, "Dude, you are so good tonight, you are exactly what this show is about. Finding the best singer that we can find. And the best singer, Season 7 IS RIGHT THERE!!!!!" Paula said, "You've left me speechless as I was when I first heard you sing this song. You were stunning tonight. You were stunning." Simon said, "At the end of the day, this show is about finding a star, and tonight I think we've witnessed one of the great finals. But in my opinion, David, you came out here tonight to win, and what we have witnessed is a knockout."

Watch video of David Archuleta singing John Lennon's "Imagine":


We say: Round 3 is a tie.

So what a shock it will be for all when David Cook is crowned tonight. According to DialIdol.com, there is NO POSSIBLE WAY Cook can lose. DialIdol.com has never been wrong in the six years it has been predicting the finale winner and Cook is 11.5% ahead of Archuleta, a huge lead by DialIdol standards. Even considering every possible margin of error, Cook is King. And we say, long live the king.

Ruben Studdard closed the show with an uninspired and forgettable rendition of "Celebrate Me Home."

Confirmed and unconfirmed spoilers for tonight's finale include:
David Cook and Mariah Carey will duet on "Always Be My Baby."
David Archuleta and Neil Diamond will duet on "America."
Seal, Donna Summer, ZZ Top, the Jonas Brothers, Kanye West and George Michael are also performing.

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© 2008