This is the last week of eliminations to reach the Top 12 finalists, and, we must admit, the men are sounding pretty good. Most of them were able to find songs that both fit their voices and style for the week's theme, which is the '80s. Of course, we had to sit through the video clip for each contestant. The theme of those was "my most embarrassing moment," and, frankly, some were just TMI. Did we really need to know that David Hernandez did a photo shoot with a big booger hanging out of his nose? And did that bit of TMI knock him to the No. 7 (of 8) ranking on DialIdol.com, even though he did a nice job with his song? Actually, it was Danny Noriega who should have laid claim to the position. So we wonder: Were the folks at VotefortheWorst.com responsible for Noriega taking the DialIdol No. 4 rung instead? Of course, we're still hoping Danny gets eliminated Thursday. Remember, last week DialIdol placed Jason Yeager and Robbie Carrico as Nos. 2 and 3 respectively, and they were both eliminated.
The evening started out with the male contestant that everyone we know agreed in advance is doomed: Luke Menard. That he has lasted this long is nothing short of a miracle for him, in spite of his square-jawed good looks. Luke's most embarrassing moment was when his older sister dressed 8-year-old Menard up as a ballerina, then took pictures (of course we got to see one). After that intro, he sang the somewhat appropriate "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham, a great dance song. But who can forget how even George Michael looked ridiculous singing it with Andrew Ridgely in those embarrassing short shorts and "Choose Life" T-shirts? (And, rewatching the video, how did we not realize that Michael was gay until years later?). Although Luke's voice fit the song, the only way he was going to get away with this performance was by camping and dancing it up to the extreme (Danny anybody?), which he didn't do. You almost have to make fun of the song to pull it off effectively. Randy Jackson said that it started off a little rough for him and that Luke couldn't quite find the pitch and was a little ahead of the band timing-wise. He also found it corny. Paula Abdul, getting in a Jackson-like plug, said she choreographed George Michael's tour. She said she loved Luke's interpretation of it and the choices he took on the upper notes. Simon Cowell(surprise!) didn't like it, saying he thought it was weak and a bit girly (we think not nearly girly enough, Simon). He also struck what was probably the fatal blow to Luke's chances (unless his fans called in sympathy votes like crazy to save him) by saying that after this performance, "There's no chance you're going to make it through, I don't even think to the final 12."
Watch video of Luke Menard singing "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham:
Next came this season's most overrated performer, little David Archuleta. He said his most embarrassing moment was during a fundraising stint in Honduras. In the middle of a Spanish song his voice went and his mommy came onstage to finish it. Wonder if she'll do that for him on "Idol" if his voice goes? He started his romanticized version of Phil Collin's "Another Day in Paradise" at the piano. His singing wasn't quite up to what he's done in the past. He appears earnest, but doesn't exhibit an emotional understanding of the words coming out of his mouth. But our biggest complaint -- and the thing we can't get past -- is his constant giggliness and the sound of the noise he makes, talking or singing, when he breathes in. It's a very audible "whoosh" of air. Randy said it was an interesting song choice but didn't show Archuleta's vocal prowess; that it was nice but had a couple pitch problems. Paula loved that it wasn't perfect because it proved that David wasn't "this hologram that can do everything perfect" (huh?) adding that, "In that imperfection, you still are perfect." English translator please! She then went into her "you really shine" routine (it's either that or her "you're unique" routine). Simon told David that it wasn't as good as his performance last week and that he should have stayed at the piano. He also said David's "getting a little bit gloomy" with all the sad songs and that he needs to lighten up a bit. "There's no question you're going to make it through to the finals next week," Cowell said, adding, "You're probably going to be in the final two, but I think now we've got to see a slightly different, more fun side occasionally. Otherwise, it might get a bit depressing." For us, it's depressing already.
Watch video of David Archuleta singing "Another Day in Paradise" by Phil Collins:
OK, everyone who is so overDanny Noriega, raise your hands. *snap* Thought so. The last thing Season 7 needs is another Sanjaya "look at me" Malakar. Sassy Noriega might think he's "it," but to us he's just so "ish." Danny's most embarrassing moment was when a friend tripped him at the movies and he fell in front of one of his crushes (hmmm, interesting that gender was not defined here). Actually, we think his punk Christmas video where he hopes that Santa Claus rapes you F*** mother is far more embarrassing. Love the lip ring and full eye makeup. Looking pretty as a girl, we then got to see him do all the camping that Luke needed when Noriega sang Soft Cell's "Tainted Love," pouting and voguing and thrusting his hips all about. We'd like to say that it was so hot that the stage almost went up in flames, but we'll have to skip the former and settle for the stage almost went up in flames. His voice wasn't all that and a bag of chips. In fact, his voice in the semis hasn't once sounded as good as it did in the auditions. Any entertainment value here was solely in the attitude and vamping. Randy thought there was good stuff and bad stuff in the performance. It was pitchy he said, but he loved the arrangement. Paula said she loved that Danny is "like this bright light in the competition" (that was just the flaming part, dear). She told him he had great vocals (did she hear something we didn't?) and that he looked fabulous. Well, we guess it's better to look fabulous than to sound fabulous. Fortunately, Simon returned sanity to the panel with, "I thought it was horrible, the whole thing. Absolutely useless. Sorry, I didn't like it. Hated the arrangement ... hated the performance, hated the vocal, didn't like anything about it." Amen.
Watch video of Danny Noriega singing "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell:
Poor David Hernandez. He has a wonderful voice, but he is missing the spark that he needs to win over the audience. And his most embarrassing booger story was just plain gross and certainly didn't add to his allure. Too bad he didn't have any good stories from his days as a nude dancer at male strip club Dick's Cabaret in Phoenix. Really. According to AP, the manager of the club, Gordy Bryan, said that Hernandez had performed fully nude and gave lap dances to the club's mostly male clientele. "He had the look and the type that people like, so he made pretty good money here," Bryan said. Now isn't that better than the booger story? Hernandez, we thought, did a really nice job with Meatloaf's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." He has a good range and a nice tone, and could do very well as a recording artist. But his personality just doesn't light up the stage, which is pretty weird considering his previous experience at Dick's Cabaret. Randy called it a nice song choice because of David's "big old voice," and said it was really good except for some little pitch problems. Paula said that David was getting into his groove and finding his niche. She also said he's becoming a very good performer and has some of the best vocals in the whole group (agreed). Simon, however, didn't feel David was as good as last week and prefers when he does soul songs, but added that "You've 100% secured a place as a finalist for next week on that." Hope so.
Watch video of David Hernandez singing "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" by Meatloaf:
Michael Johns scored fairly low on DialIdol this week (sixth of eight), which surprised us. After his video embarrassing moment, which was when he worked as a mascot at a rugby match and got beaten up in front of 20,000 people, he demonstrated that he still has the exact right touch for picking songs that suit him. He also demonstrated his previous experience onstage with Simple Minds' "Don't You (Forget About Me)," looking totally professional. Though he was pitchy in spots Tuesday night, in general his voice is good (though not great), he's easy on the eyes and he has the charisma that David Hernandez lacks. Yet he still hasn't become the breakout star that we think the "Idol" producers thought he would be. Randy incorrectly said, "You know what I loved about that? The Aussie went home for '80s week." Well, Mr. Record Producer, you should be embarrassed. Simple Minds is from Scotland, not Australia. Then he said, "It's so you, you kind of remind me of Michael Hutchence." Well, the late Michael Hutchence was in INXS, not Simple Minds. This is the second time in the semis Randy has compared Johns to Hutchence. There is a slight similarity in voice, but we think the fact that they are both Australian and look somewhat alike bring Hutchence to mind, not Johns' singing. Jackson also told him that "You've got that big old range, that big old voice. Very nicely done. Good song choice, I loved it dude." Paula said he picked the perfect song (agreed) and that Johns has "this presence that's different and unique; the way you hold the microphone and you've got like a hopping thing going on." Well, really, a million other singers do that, Paula. Simon liked it, but didn't love it. He said that Johns still hadn't "connected with the right song and had your moment yet," that he preferred when Johns was more like a soul singer. But, he added, "I really, really like you and I think you're going to do very, very well in this competition." Perhaps.
Watch video of Michael Johns singing "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds:
David Cook's most embarrassing moment was when he sang in a talent show but forgot the second verse to the song. After a delay (he was supposed to go onstage before Johns) due to difficulty setting up his guitar and amp, he surprised yet again with a wonderful emo-rock arrangement of Lionel Richie's "Hello." It was our favorite moment of the evening. Cook is certainly the dark horse of the males in this competition. Many gave him a weak chance of progressing in the beginning, but he gets better week by week. Randy thought is was a great arrangement, saying "I think that could be a single and be a hit, dude. I thought it was brilliant." Paula agreed that it was fabulous and would be a hit today, saying David changed things up and made perfect choices. Again, she went into her "shining star" routine (as opposed to a tarnished star?). Simon called the performance a very brave thing to do and said he loved it, adding "I like people who go out there and take a few risks. It was unpredictable and I thought it worked. I think Lionel Richie will be very happy when he hears that," adding, "I really, really hope we're going to see you next week." Yea!
Watch video of David Cook singing "Hello" by Lionel Richie:
Jason Castro was embarrassed when he tried to tie his hair back on a date and one of his dreads came out. Yup, that would be pretty embarrassing. But, man, he just has to lose that stoner act. It's really becoming annoying, like watching "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" over and over again. Castro gave our second favorite performance of the evening, doing the Jeff Buckley version of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah." Everything about his performance was near perfect: Accompanied by only an acoustic guitar player, Castro began seated on a stool in the dark studio with only a spot on him. His voice was sweet and poignant. It was a subtle and very effective rendition of a difficult song, only slightly marred by a broken falsetto note at the end. And the judges loved it. Randy told him that he did a pretty good job of it and that he gave him props for coming out without the guitar and showing a different side. Paula said that Jason made it sound effortless and showed a beautiful vulnerability and that his phrasing is what makes him great. Simon said, "I thought it was absolutely brilliant what you just did." He said that he loved it and that it was arguably one of his favorite performances of the whole night, definitely Jason's strongest so far. He also told Castro that he is getting better and better and better.
Watch video of Jason Castro singing "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen:
The pimp spot of the evening belonged to Chikezie, whose most embarrassing moment was in high school, where, he said, he used the same bathroom every day because it was clean and no one was there. He then discovered it was a girls bathroom. We worried when we heard he was going to change the gender of "All the Man That I Need." We were expecting an off-putting performance like Syesha's "Me and Mr. Jones" last week. But Chikezie pulled it off without a hitch, right down to the song's falsetto notes, and made it sound as if it had been written that way. The fact that Luther Vandross has done a version should have assured us it would work. Still, it wasn't deserving of the night's pimp spot. Either David Cook or Jason Castro should have held that honor. Randy thought it an interesting song choice and said Chikezie did a good job and that he was really impressed. Paula said his vocals sounded really good and that she was very proud of him. Simon first asked, "Did Whitney do it?" When told "yes," he answered, "Then, no, I don't think that worked at all." Huh? Why? If Whitney hadn't done it it would have been OK? We don't get Simon's thinking at all on that one. He also said it was OK in bits, but was much more cabaret than last week (was not). He also said, "I don't think that was a very smart move, personally." It was almost as if Simon was trying to get Chikezie eliminated this week. And if it works, it would be undeserved.
Watch video of Chikezie singing "All the (Wo)Man That I Need" by Whitney Houston:
Best of the Night: David Cook, Jason Castro Worst of the Night: Luke Menard, Danny Noriega
Not that he's our cup of tea, but to look at DialIdol this morning, the rest of the guys can go home ... no one is even close to The Chosen One, er, David Archuleta. Why The Chosen One, well Simon Cowell has already predicted him the winner on Tuesday’s "Extra." Describing why he thinks Archuleta is optimum Idol, Cowell said, "He's cute. He's likeable. [He has] a big voice. He's the one to beat." He also said this about Chikezie: "He's never going to win unless the other 18 [er, that would be 19, Simon] resign."
Truth be told, he has a nice voice, but there is something about him that rubs us the wrong way, plus we can't stand that sound he makes every time he intakes a breath and you hear it in the microphone.
Of course Archuleta should sing "Imagine" with a fair amount of ease, he been performing it professionally at least since age 11.
In fact you can watch a video of him singing it at age 11:
What puzzles us is the rest of the DialIdol lineup. Last night, it made some semblance of sense (except for Michael Johns). It actually was fairly respresentative of how well -- or poorly -- each contestant sang. If memory serves, last night's order was:
1. David Archuleta 2. Michael Johns 3. David Hernandez 4. David Cook 5. Chikezie Eze 6. Luke Menard 7. Jason Yeager 8. Jason Castro 9. Danny Noriega 10. Robbie Carrico
It was a bit skewed in our opinion, but not unreasonable (our ranking, best to worst is: David Cook, David Hernandez, David Archuleta, Chikezie Eze, Luke Menard, Jason Yeager, Michael Johns, Jason Castro, Rob Carrico, Danny Noriega). But something happened overnight as the voting moved to the West Coast and, then, Hawaii (ah, the little island spoiler). Suddenly, and inexplicably, Yeager and Carrico were in the No. 2 and 3 positions respectively. No way! It was as if anyone the judges critiqued badly was getting a crapload a fan votes to keep them in. Now it looks as if Luke Menard might be sent packing tomorrow night, sadly after he gave a solid, and much improved, performance. Guess good looks will only buy you so much time. The final DialIdol order reads:
1. David Archuleta 2. Jason Yeager 3. Robbie Carrico 4. David Cook 5. David Hernandez 6. Michael Johns 7. Jason Castro 8. Chikezie Eze 9. Danny Noriega 10. Luke Menard
The only guys that have held the same positions throughout the voting were Archuleta, Cook and Noriega. It seems a safe bet that Noriega is leaving. But who will accompany him? Menard? Eze? Castro? We're betting that Castro is safe.
This week the contestants are singing songs from the '70s (and next week from the '80s, or so we hear). Overall, they fared better with this decade than with the '60s. Each contestant also had to tell us something we didn't know about them in their video intro. We normally glaze over through these videos. Really don't care that much that Michael Johns is a jock or that David Cook is a "word nerd," but we guess the rest of the world does.
First up was Michael Johns. What we don't know about him: he loves playing tennis. We had relistened to the audio only of last week's performance and decided he had a decent voice and presentation. What turns us off about him is his air of self-assurance, which comes across, to us at least, as verging on arrogance. So we were surprised by his weak performance of Fleetwood Mac's "Go Your Own Way." Perhaps he was trying to imitate Lindsay Buckingham, but the vibrato in his voice was really annoying. Randy Jackson called it a nice way to start off, but that it started a little slow for him and that he was waiting for Johns to let go. Paula Abdul called him consistent and a seasoned performer and said it was a great way to start the show (er, no, it wasn't). For our money, Simon Cowell was spot on when he said it was by far Johns weakest performance of the whole competition, adding "It was what I call coasting along ... There was no moment. It was a very weak choice of song for you."
Watch video of Michael Johns singing "Go Your Own Way":
Last week, we were far less impressed than the judges with Jason Castro 's performance, so we weren't surprised that he was even weaker this week. After an incredibly stupid video that told us he hates doing inteviews (good luck with superstardom, dude), he sang Andy Gibb's "I Just Want to Be Your Everything" ... and wasn't. Once again, he used his guitar, making it increasingly obvious that he is leaning on it because his voice ain't all that and a bag of chips. Randy told him the vocals weren't that great (they weren't last week, either) and that it sounded kinda karaoke. Paula told Randy, "I don't think it was as bad as you heard," (er, yeah, it was), that Jason made a clever song choice, that she liked the way he interpreted it, but that he should lose the guitar next week and "Allow yourself to be more vulnerable as an artist." Thankfully, Simon told him the song was horrible and schmaltzy (Simon knows a Yiddish word!?!), that it didn't suit Jason's voice and that the vocals were very weak.
Watch video of Jason Castro singing "I Just Want To Be Your Everything":
We learned (well, we didn't, we knew it already) that Luke Menard is a member of the a cappella group Take 6. We were pleasantly surprised -- even if America wasn't -- to see him come back strongly with a good rendition of a tough song, Queen's "Killer Queen." If was certainly one of the hardest, if not the most difficult, song selections of the evening. Luke sang it well and was much more animated than last week. It should have guaranteed him a pass to next week, but, according to those DialIdol numbers, probably won't. Perhaps because he has yet to win Simon over. Randy acknowledged the song's degree of difficulty and told Luke he liked him better this week. Paula agreed, telling Luke he picked the perfect song and that it was a great week for him. Simon, in one of those moments he's having this season when he seems to hearing something different than the rest of us, said, "I'm going to judge that performance and I think it was a mistake." Cowell said with a song like that, you are always going to be judged with the original and that the singer of that song (Freddie Mercury) had charisma and personality and Luke didn't, making him suffer by comparison. He also called it "a bit theatrical and verging on the whiny." But how did you really feel, Simon?
Watch video of Luke Menard singing "Killer Queen":
We discovered that Robbie Carrico likes to drag race, and don't doubt that his video segment added to his allure with both guys and gals. Unfortunately, his singing this week didn't. We were excited to hear the opening chords of Foreigner's "Hot Blooded," but the performance was more like an anemic lizard. It just lacked pizzazz and was, well, boring. He's proving what the judges are saying about him not being a true rocker, regardless of his saying that there are all different kinds of rock and apparently he's just not within Simon's vision of what a rocker should be. Nope, sorry, Robbie, you're more of a boy-band singer, and would probably do better sticking to that genre. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Randy told him "I don't know if the rock thing is really, really your thing," and although Robbie did a pretty good job with the song, Jackson was waiting for a "wow" moment that never came. Paula said that in some ways he played it a little safe and that he has to up the ante. Sounding as if he just wanted to be contrary to whatever the other two were saying Tuesday night, Simon told Carrico, "I thought the vocal was okay tonight."
Watch video of Robbie Carrico singing "Hot Blooded":
Danny Noriega used to be in a punk rock band when he was in the 9th grade (was that last week?). Are you really surprised that even then Danny was doing anything he could to bring attention to himself. His personality grates more with each passing week, and judging from the DialIdol results, more than just "some people weren't liking it." The difference between him and Sanjaya, is that the latter was seen as vulnerable in the beginning. endearing him to young girls and adults who wanted to mother him. Danny showed some of that vulnerability during the judging segment Tuesday night, but then, *snap*, he's right back to being flamboyantly sassy. Unfortunately, his singing was the worst of the evening. Perhaps, as the judges noted, he was trying too hard with The Carpenters "Superstar," but he was hitting bad notes all over the place. Randy told him there were problems with the vocal and he should have sped the song up a bit. He also said, "I felt like you were thinking while you were singing ... and not just letting yourself sing." Paula agreed, saying he shouldn't overthink it and just perform. Simon, too, focused on that point, saying Danny was overconcentrating, but, on the plus side he also told him he was better than last week, stands out in a crowd (ya think?), is interesting and looks terrific on camera.
Watch video of Danny Noriega singing "Superstar":
David Hernandez was into -- and pretty good at -- gymnastics when he was young. He might have been stiff and nervous last week, but this week's performance of "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" sizzled. One of the best of the evening as far as we're concerned (although we did have a sense of deja vu after seeing it performed -- twice -- on "Dance War"). Randy excitedly exclaimed that this is the David Hernandez that we fell in love with and telling us "That was hot right there." Paula loved his pure voice and said it pierces the heart and that every note was right in the pocket. She also said his personality really came out this week. Simon thought it was the best vocal of the night so far and gave him kudos for treating criticism as a challenge instead of sulking and rising to it. He then paid him the ultimate compliment, "I'm quite happy to hold my hand up and say I am a fan."
We are wondering if Vote for the Worst's allegations that David H. is gay and worked as a gay stripper will hurt (or help?) him in the competition. They write: "An interesting rumor has just surfaced that David Hernandez was a stripper in Phoenix before his time on American Idol. Obviously we're not 100% sure, but here's what we've found so far. After rumors were posted around the internet that David has a steady boyfriend of 2-3 years and that he stripped at Dick's Cabaret, we found pictures of David working at Burn, a gay nightclub that just recently closed in Phoenix. Obviously you don't wear the club's logo if you don't work there. So although we haven't found any pictures of him stripping just yet, we're still on the hunt, and the pictures we found are leading us in the right direction. We'll keep you updated." (Click on the link to see "the pictures").
Watch video of David Hernandez singing "Papa Was a Rolling Stone":
Jason Yeager tells us he is a self-taught musician (and some might say a self-taught singer). Although last night's performance of The Dobbie Brothers' "Long Train Runnin'" was roundly trashed by the judges, we kinda liked it. We liked it A LOT better than his rendition of "Moon River." We even thought this week his voice sounded a bit like Steve Winwood's. We liked its tone, we liked his enthusiasm, we liked the performances. The judges felt otherwise. Randy told Jason, "I don't think you did yourself any justice with that song," and called it very pitchy and karaoke, saying "I didn't really get it." Paula, fumbling over herself trying to kindly criticize Jason, finally said, "It's a song that has not many notes in it that doesn't show your vocal range," and that Jason should pick singer's songs. Simon, never at a loss of words to put someone down, told Jason that last week he was boring and this week he was awkward and ordinary. He also hated what he called, "that horrific ending," saying "It was like you were drunk at a party" (ah, the Taylor Hicks' critique) and Jason was "a quite good singer who can't perform very well, so I'm very disappointed." Worse yet for Yeager, Ryan Seacresthad to engage him in that pointless post-performance banter which went on and on, leading Simon to say, they needed Oscar music to cut the finalists off. Hey, it wasn't Jason's fault.
Watch video of Jason Yeager singing "Long Train Runnin' ":
We learned from Chikezie that his name is Nigerian, what it means -- something well-created by God -- and how to pronounce it, but he knows it'll always be mispronounced, so he just goes with the flow. He, too, gave a much improved and enjoyable performance this week, singing Donny Hathaway's "I Believe to My Soul." Like Elliott Yamin, he introduced us to Hathaway's daughter, one of the show's backup singers. Everything about the performance reminded us of why we loved Chikezie going into the semifinals. Things were going swimmingly, that is, until he opened his Big Mouth -- again! -- to Simon. Man, he needs a leash on his lips. Randy told America, Chikezie is back and this is the guy we fell in love with, adding "That was blazing, you were having fun, you were singing at ease, at will, you didn't care what was going on. That was hot." Paula called it brilliant fun. Simon, again about to screw up Chikezie's name, said, "I'm gonna call you Chi," then paid him homage with "You look better. You sounded better. I thought it was a very clever choice of song. It was a million times better than last week." Then Simon asked if Chikezie hadn't agreed with Cowell's criticism after watching last week's show back. Chikezie went into a good-hearted rant about his orange suit and how he didn't agree with Simon at all about it. Simon asked him, "Would you wear it again?" and Chikezie answered, "I wore it on TV, I can't wear it twice, you can't do a replay, only you do that!" The audience went wild and Chikezie immediately started backpedalling with, "Oooh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry ..." Funny for us Chikezie, lethal for you? The DialIdol numbers look real scary this morning.
Watch video of Chikezie singing "I Believe to My Soul":
David Cookreveals that he's a "word nerd." He loves doing word puzzles, crosswords and word searches, he's a vocab guy, i.e. the guy's not only got a voice, but a brain as well. Yes, we still hate his hair (but love that accompanied himself on guitar), but he rocked the house Tuesday night with "All Right Now" by Free. It was our favorite performance of the night (he, in fact, sounds better than Free does on our iPod), and David C. proved he's the true male rocker of Season 7. Michael Johns and Rob Carrico pale by comparison. He's the real deal (even flipping him guitar pick out to the crowd after the performance), and not afraid to admit he's a vocab guy, to boot. Randy agreed, saying "To me you're our real rocker from the boys this year. I actually really, really liked that." Paula called him the real deal and said it was very smart, very fun. Simon, of course, didn't totally agree, saying it was solid and sort of believable, but adding that his intro video didn't help him any -- "tennis, drag racing, to crosswords, it's boring." (Did he think Jason Castro's incoherent one helped him?). He then told David C. he didn't have a lot of charisma. David C stupidly cut Simon off, and told him, "Fortunately, I don't have to win you over with my charisma, I've got to win these people over." Simon's smile literally morphed into a look of shock at the comment.
Cowell then tersely answered, "David, I think I know, by now, the rules of this competition." He went on to say that it was his opinion, and that he didn't think the film helped David C. Randy and Paula tried to deflate the moment, but it was tense. Hopefully, David C. doesn't come to regret his mouth, even if his sentiment was correct.
Watch video of David Cook singing "All Right Now":
Last up was David Archuleta, who revealed what the rest of the world has known for months, that when he was 11, he got to meet, and sing for, Kelly Clarkson and the other Season 1 Idols.
Watch video of David Archuleta singing for Kelly Clarkson:
We suppose that probably gives him the automatic right to inherit the throne. No point going into our opinion of his rendering of John Lennon's "Imagine." You either love or hate David A., and we're on the side of the devil on this one. Even though his voice doesn't come close to the purity of David A's, we actually preferred Blake Lewis' performance of the same song last season. We felt it had more understanding of the lyrics. But, so it goes. David's tongue bath by the judges included these comments: Randy: "That's one of the best vocals I've ever heard on this show. You're singing with such maturity way beyond your years... You were born to do exactly what you're doing there. That was brilliant." Paula: "David, you are ridiculous. I want to squish you, squeeze your head off and dangle you from my rear-view mirror ... That was one of the most moving performances I have ever heard. You're destined for superstardom."; Simon: "Right now, you're the one to beat and there are nineteen very miserable contestants sitting here tonight ... after that."
Watch video of David Archuleta singing "Imagine":
WEDNESDAY NIGHT SPOILERS, DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW
From JoesPlace. More than likely accurate, considering the source.
1. Carly Smithson – "Crazy on You" by Heart 2. Syesha Mercado – "Me and Mr. Jones" (changed from Mrs. to Mr.) by Billy Paul 3. Brooke White – "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon 4. Ramiele Malubay – "Don't Leave Me This Way" by Thelma Houston 5. Kristy Lee Cook – "You're No Good" by Linda Ronstadt 6. Amanda Overmyer – "Carry on My Wayward Son" by Kansas 7. Alaina Whitaker – "Hopelessly Devoted to You" by Olivia Newton-John 8. Alexandrea Lushington – "If You Leave Me Now" by Chicago 9. Kady Malloy – "Magic Man" by Heart 10. Asia’h Epperson – "All by Myself" by Celine Dion
Which brings up some questions: Why have last week's and this week's performance shows been pretaped instead of airing live? Also, we've heard that the contestants have been given a paltry selection of approximately 50 songs each of the two weeks (so much for "you've got a whole decade to pick from," Simon). Some believe the reason the contestants are receiving such a short list of choices is that the deal with iTunes to carry the contestants' recordings dictated that they select songs that would be cheap and easy to clear.
After being tortured by Ryan Seacrest's endless promotions since Day One of Season 7 that this is the most talented group of competitors EVAH on "American Idol," we watched the 12 male semifinalists compete for the first time. We are now firmly convinced that the producers were only (surprise!) trying to pump up the show's flagging ratings with that lie. They knew the hype wasn't true, and now we do, too. In fact, the talent from Season 2 exceeds what we've already seen on Season 7 (Clay Aiken, Ruben Studdard, Joshua Gracin and Rickey Smith for example, check out "American Idol Rewind"). And suprisingly, for the most talented group EVAH, the judges didn't seem to love most of the performances!
Were there some good voices? Yes. Was there any charisma? A bit. Did it ever come together in the same contestant? Well, not really. This season, there are themes for the semifinals, as opposed to the competitors selecting just any song they like. This week's theme is the '60s, a time *ahem* we remember quite clearly, and enjoyed. Only a couple of the performances sparked our normal enthusiasm for the period. This well might be because the contestants have no memory of it and don't know the music. But then, British Invasion week last season -- the same decade -- was one of Season 6's best shows. And we must admit, there are just too many youngsters (four of the 12 males are 18 or younger; three of the females are 18 or younger) and their childishness is grating at times.
Here's how it went down: First up was David Hernandez, who was first shown during Hollywood Week. We kind of liked him then, although Simon Cowell made it very clear to Hernandez that he had not voted for him to become one of the Chosen 24. We still like David H. (there are currently three Davids in the competition, 2 Jasons, and 2 Cooks. This makes things quite confusing, especially, when Simon says to a different-named contestant, "When David did ..." and we're thinking, "which David?"), and thought his version of "Midnight Hour" was OK. It began with a gospel-tinged opening, which we couldn't decide if we really liked or really disliked, then played into a rather pedestrian version of the song. Still, we found it pleasant, if not inspired. Randy Jackson loved the "whole kind of gospel vibe" but said it fell apart at the end; Paula Abdul thought it had perfect vibrato and was a good job, while Simon said it was better than he thought it would be, but that David H. was very stiff and nervous and that there was nothing distinct about his voice.
Watch video of David Hernandez singing "In the Midnight Hour" by Wilson Pickett:
The first thing that Chikezie has to do is reclaim his last name. To start out the competition by dropping your last name is just too pretentious, Cher, er, Chikezie. And although going into Week 1 Mr. Eze was one of our favorites, he fell apart for us on Tuesday night. His vocals were weak and pitchy on "More Today Than Yesterday." It came together somewhat by the end of the song, but by then, it was too late for us to care. Frankly, based on that performance, he deserves to be eliminated Thursday night, but will "Idol" eliminate the only black male contestant they have this season in the first week? We doubt it. Randy said it was pretty good, then downgraded that to "aight," after telling Chikezie that he sounded old-fashioned and needed to make the song fresh and young. Paula, on the other hand, thought he was a throwback to great R&B and said it was a very nice job. Simon, who called him Chikoozie (insert laughs), called the whole thing hideous, corny and cheesy, starting with Chikezie's orange suit. Chikezie stupidly decided to dispute this with humor. Hello, does he not remember how this backfired on Chris Sligh? All we can say, Chikezie, is Dead Man Walking. Maybe not this week, but ...
Watch video of Chikezie Eze singing "More Today Than Yesterday" by Spiral Staircase:
There is something about David Cook that we don't love -- maybe it's the hair -- but we do think he's a good, not great, singer and a strong entertainer. And being a strong entertainer is probably more important than having a great voice, right Madonna? Anyway, we liked David C.'s arrangement and performance of The Turtles' "Happy Together." For us, at least, he's a keeper and should wind up in the finals. Randy thought it started out a little weird but that David worked it out and made it rock, which Paula agreed to, telling David that he made it something original. Simon -- whose theme last night was telling contestants they sounded old-fashioned and that they needed to add a contemporary twist to old songs -- said he thought it was good, adding "It's a weird song to choose because I never heard that song sung like that before ... you almost made it believable." Well, isn't what you were asking for, Simon?
Watch video of David Cook singing "Happy Together" by The Turtles:
Poor Jason Yeager. He seems sweet and nice. He has an adorable little boy and a pleasant voice ... but he's also deadly dull. Not that we didn't like his version of "Moon River." But then we loved the song when Andy Williams sang it, too. This performance was definitely stuck in the 60s. Although Jason Y. can sing, he just doesn't strike us the next great American pop star. If he's spared elimination this week, it's only because they kept showing his cute little mini-me. Randy and Paula offered nothing substantial in commentary. He hesitantly said "You definitely did a pretty good job with that song," she, beaming, added, "I did my first ballet recital to that song." Er, OK. We totally agreed with Simon, who told Jason Y. that he came over much older on that song and that it was very cruise ship (we were thinking more Holiday Inn lounge, but whatev).
Watch video of Jason Yeager singing "Moon River" by Andy Williams:
We really like Robbie Carrico. He's got the whole package: voice, looks, stage presence. He was beyond comfortable performing Three Dog Night's "One," but then he's had a lot of previous stage experience. He was a member of a boy-girl band that toured with Britney Spears (and, allegedly, was one of Spears' boyfriends, but, then, who hasn't been?). Prior to "Idol" he was in a rock band. His performance was strong, but he still has too much boy band in him to be a true rocker; he's like a rocker with a boy band voice. He needs to acquire a bit more edge, and you can't get that with clothes alone. Randy told him it was a very nice and that Robbie had moved him. Paula said Robbie had picked the perfect song and was authentic. Simon said it was a good performance and the only current performance, but, like us, Simon wasn't convinced yet that Robbie was very comfortable "in this rock thing." Robbie assured that that is who he is.
Watch video of Robbie Carrico singing "One" by Three Dog Night:
OK, we know everyone out there is going to disagree with this, but we just can't stand David Archuleta. Can you say "precocious." Yes he has a good voice, yes he won "Star Search" when he was 12, and, yes, he's a little manufactured entertainer and one that is being pimped by "Idol." Maybe we're just missing the cuteness gene. We know he'll make it to the finals and the Top 10, but, sorry, we're already tuned out. Randy told he was really brilliant and "just born with this gift" (ugh!) and that he loved it. Paula, for some absurd reason, called it a brave and bold choice and that he did a great job. Even Simon got on board the kiss fest with "When you got it, you got it. That was, by a comfortable mile, the best performance of the night so far." No comment.
Watch video of David Archuleta singing "Shop Around" by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles:
Yes, we can't wait for Danny Noriega to be eliminated. He seems to think that the reason he is on "Idol" is to *snap* display his attitude with a capital "A," instead of perform. His performance of "Jailhouse Rock" was so camp, it bordered on ridiculous, which is sad, because he's previously displayed that he has a good voice. And his dancing, much as we love Taylor Hicks, came straight from the Hicks' School of Dance. We're surprised that Cowell, who hates the Season 6 winner, didn't make the connection, especially because Hicks sang the same song during Elvis Week. Maybe Danny needed to add a Woo! to the end. Randy hemmed and hawed with it was pretty good and the vocals were OK, then inexplicably ended with "It was kinda hot." Paula, who obviously likes the flamboyant Danny, started going on about the colors in his voices, something that Simon made fun of the rest of the evening. (every time someone sang, he asked her what color it was). Simon, disgusted, got straight to the point, calling Danny's performance verging on grotesque, hideous and awful. This led to a two-minute fight between the judges. When they were through, Ryan asked Danny what he thought. He said that he thought the song would be a fun one for the first week, *snap* "but some people weren't liking it." Season 7's Sanjaya has arrived. Can't wait to see what Danny will do with his Sanjaya-like hair as the weeks go on.
Watch video of Danny Noriega singing "Jailhouse Rock":
Luke Menard is definitely the best-looking guy in the compeitition. He sings with an a cappella band and has a Kenny Loggins-like tenderness to his voice. We so wanted to like him as a singer, but his version of "Everybody's Talkin' " was weakly pleasant and very forgettable. The judges felt the same. Could the best-looking guy this season be eliminated on the first go-round? Yep. Randy called it very pitchy and consistently sharp and said it wasn't great for him. Paula tried to say it sucked, but got lost in her own incoherency. Simon simply called Luke's performance forgettable, saying no one is going to remember that as being either a great performance or a great vocal. Luke respectfully disagreed, saying people would remember him. His looks, maybe. His voice, never.
Watch video of Luke Menard singing "Everybody's Talkin'" by Harry Nilsson:
Unfortunately, Luke started a string of forgettable singers. Colton Berry is so fair and bland physically (he thinks he looks like Ellen DeGeneres) and personality-wise, he almost disappears. His version of "Suspicious Minds" reminded us for the second time in one night how good Elvis was and these contestants aren't. It was no better than what you'd hear in a karaoke bar. No style, nothing even remotely memorable, entering Colton in this week's deserves-to-go pool. Randy thought he did a pretty good job. Paula said it wasn't his best performance but was an "eager and fun attempt" (not the reason we're watching the show). Simon said it was OK, but added that Colton had no relevance in today's music industry.
Watch video of Colton Berry singing "Suspicious Minds" by Elvis Presley:
We slept through most of Leif Garrett look-alike Garrett Haley's performance (does he wear his hair that way because they share a name?) He has a strange high voice, but it worked on Neil Sedaka's "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do," perhaps because Sedaka also has a high voice. What didn't work was the slow pace of the song. The original up-tempo hit has always been the better version and, at the very least, Haley should have mixed the two, but he didn't. BIG MISTAKE. Randy said there were a couple of pitch problems and it was just kinda boring. Paula said he should change it up and that the slow tempo brought the performance down. Simon called in boring, said Haley's voice sounded a bit whiny and that he looked terrified verging on haunted. Will America find breaking up with Haley hard to do? Probably not.
Watch video of Garrett Haley singing "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" by Neil Sedaka:
The judges loved Jason Castro, the first contestant to play an instrument during an "American Idol" competition (the guitar). We aren't in love ... yet. Although the audience was clapping along, his version of The Lovin' Spoonful's "Daydream" was more hayride than "Hootenanny" for us. John Sebastian can still sleep at night. But he's cute, personable and his dreadlocked-look should appeal to the girls. Plus, his audition shows that his voice has real potential. So we think he'll slide into the finals easily. Randy said it didn't blow him away but it was alright. Paula said "You did blow me away," that the song was absolutely perfect for him, and that he had nailed it. Simon said it was one of the top two performances of the night, it was current and effortless and that Jason has charisma (we agree on that). He ended with "I think it was terrific."
Watch video of Jason Castro singing "Daydream" by The Lovin' Spoonful:
In the pimp spot, was the contestant the producers have been pimping since the season began: Australian Michael Johns. How much are they pimping him? Ryan began his segment with, "Have we saved the best for last?" Well, no. He has a good voice, but if he were any more full of himself, he might explode. And we don't think he comes close to touching Jim Morrison on The Doors' "Light My Fire." But, like Season 4's Constantine Maroulis, he's very savvy at choosing songs. In addition, he's a seasoned performer, whose band was once signed to Madonna's Maverick Records. So, arrogance be damned. Between his looks, accent, song selections and voice, he certainly has a chance of winning it all. Randy said "You sing great. I feel like I'm seeing a true legend rock performer," with Paula chiming in, "You did set everyone on fire." Simon told him he is "the most consistent contestant we've had. Every one of your auditions I've loved." and that he has "the natural charisma of a lead singer. You have just got it." Shall we just crown him now?
Watch video of Michael Johns singing "Light My Fire" by The Doors:
Who should/could go: Jason Yeager, Luke Menard, Colton Berry, Garrett Haley
Who should/could stay: David Hernandez, David Cook, Robbie Carrico, David Archuleta (not our choice, but realistically ...), Jason Castro, Michael Johns
Either way: Chikezie (we'll give him a second chance), Danny Noriega
Eliminated:
The evening started out with the male contestant that everyone we know agreed in advance is doomed: Luke Menard. That he has lasted this long is nothing short of a miracle for him, in spite of his square-jawed good looks. Luke's most embarrassing moment was when his older sister dressed 8-year-old Menard up as a ballerina, then took pictures (of course we got to see one). After that intro, he sang the somewhat appropriate "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham, a great dance song. But who can forget how even George Michael looked ridiculous singing it with Andrew Ridgely in those embarrassing short shorts and "Choose Life" T-shirts? (And, rewatching the video, how did we not realize that Michael was gay until years later?). Although Luke's voice fit the song, the only way he was going to get away with this performance was by camping and dancing it up to the extreme (Danny anybody?), which he didn't do. You almost have to make fun of the song to pull it off effectively. Randy Jackson said that it started off a little rough for him and that Luke couldn't quite find the pitch and was a little ahead of the band timing-wise. He also found it corny. Paula Abdul, getting in a Jackson-like plug, said she choreographed George Michael's tour. She said she loved Luke's interpretation of it and the choices he took on the upper notes. Simon Cowell(surprise!) didn't like it, saying he thought it was weak and a bit girly (we think not nearly girly enough, Simon). He also struck what was probably the fatal blow to Luke's chances (unless his fans called in sympathy votes like crazy to save him) by saying that after this performance, "There's no chance you're going to make it through, I don't even think to the final 12."
Next came this season's most overrated performer, little David Archuleta. He said his most embarrassing moment was during a fundraising stint in Honduras. In the middle of a Spanish song his voice went and his mommy came onstage to finish it. Wonder if she'll do that for him on "Idol" if his voice goes? He started his romanticized version of Phil Collin's "Another Day in Paradise" at the piano. His singing wasn't quite up to what he's done in the past. He appears earnest, but doesn't exhibit an emotional understanding of the words coming out of his mouth. But our biggest complaint -- and the thing we can't get past -- is his constant giggliness and the sound of the noise he makes, talking or singing, when he breathes in. It's a very audible "whoosh" of air. Randy said it was an interesting song choice but didn't show Archuleta's vocal prowess; that it was nice but had a couple pitch problems. Paula loved that it wasn't perfect because it proved that David wasn't "this hologram that can do everything perfect" (huh?) adding that, "In that imperfection, you still are perfect." English translator please! She then went into her "you really shine" routine (it's either that or her "you're unique" routine). Simon told David that it wasn't as good as his performance last week and that he should have stayed at the piano. He also said David's "getting a little bit gloomy" with all the sad songs and that he needs to lighten up a bit. "There's no question you're going to make it through to the finals next week," Cowell said, adding, "You're probably going to be in the final two, but I think now we've got to see a slightly different, more fun side occasionally. Otherwise, it might get a bit depressing." For us, it's depressing already.
OK, everyone who is so over Danny Noriega, raise your hands. *snap* Thought so. The last thing Season 7 needs is another Sanjaya "look at me" Malakar. Sassy Noriega might think he's "it," but to us he's just so "ish." Danny's most embarrassing moment was when a friend tripped him at the movies and he fell in front of one of his crushes (hmmm, interesting that gender was not defined here). Actually, we think his punk Christmas video where he hopes that Santa Claus rapes you F*** mother is far more embarrassing. Love the lip ring and full eye makeup. Looking pretty as a girl, we then got to see him do all the camping that Luke needed when Noriega sang Soft Cell's "Tainted Love," pouting and voguing and thrusting his hips all about. We'd like to say that it was so hot that the stage almost went up in flames, but we'll have to skip the former and settle for the stage almost went up in flames. His voice wasn't all that and a bag of chips. In fact, his voice in the semis hasn't once sounded as good as it did in the auditions. Any entertainment value here was solely in the attitude and vamping. Randy thought there was good stuff and bad stuff in the performance. It was pitchy he said, but he loved the arrangement. Paula said she loved that Danny is "like this bright light in the competition" (that was just the flaming part, dear). She told him he had great vocals (did she hear something we didn't?) and that he looked fabulous. Well, we guess it's better to look fabulous than to sound fabulous. Fortunately, Simon returned sanity to the panel with, "I thought it was horrible, the whole thing. Absolutely useless. Sorry, I didn't like it. Hated the arrangement ... hated the performance, hated the vocal, didn't like anything about it." Amen.
Poor David Hernandez. He has a wonderful voice, but he is missing the spark that he needs to win over the audience. And his most embarrassing booger story was just plain gross and certainly didn't add to his allure. Too bad he didn't have any good stories from his days as a nude dancer at male strip club Dick's Cabaret in Phoenix. Really. According to AP, the manager of the club, Gordy Bryan, said that Hernandez had performed fully nude and gave lap dances to the club's mostly male clientele. "He had the look and the type that people like, so he made pretty good money here," Bryan said. Now isn't that better than the booger story? Hernandez, we thought, did a really nice job with Meatloaf's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." He has a good range and a nice tone, and could do very well as a recording artist. But his personality just doesn't light up the stage, which is pretty weird considering his previous experience at Dick's Cabaret. Randy called it a nice song choice because of David's "big old voice," and said it was really good except for some little pitch problems. Paula said that David was getting into his groove and finding his niche. She also said he's becoming a very good performer and has some of the best vocals in the whole group (agreed). Simon, however, didn't feel David was as good as last week and prefers when he does soul songs, but added that "You've 100% secured a place as a finalist for next week on that." Hope so.
Michael Johns scored fairly low on DialIdol this week (sixth of eight), which surprised us. After his video embarrassing moment, which was when he worked as a mascot at a rugby match and got beaten up in front of 20,000 people, he demonstrated that he still has the exact right touch for picking songs that suit him. He also demonstrated his previous experience onstage with Simple Minds' "Don't You (Forget About Me)," looking totally professional. Though he was pitchy in spots Tuesday night, in general his voice is good (though not great), he's easy on the eyes and he has the charisma that David Hernandez lacks. Yet he still hasn't become the breakout star that we think the "Idol" producers thought he would be. Randy incorrectly said, "You know what I loved about that? The Aussie went home for '80s week." Well, Mr. Record Producer, you should be embarrassed. Simple Minds is from Scotland, not Australia. Then he said, "It's so you, you kind of remind me of Michael Hutchence." Well, the late Michael Hutchence was in INXS, not Simple Minds. This is the second time in the semis Randy has compared Johns to Hutchence. There is a slight similarity in voice, but we think the fact that they are both Australian and look somewhat alike bring Hutchence to mind, not Johns' singing. Jackson also told him that "You've got that big old range, that big old voice. Very nicely done. Good song choice, I loved it dude." Paula said he picked the perfect song (agreed) and that Johns has "this presence that's different and unique; the way you hold the microphone and you've got like a hopping thing going on." Well, really, a million other singers do that, Paula. Simon liked it, but didn't love it. He said that Johns still hadn't "connected with the right song and had your moment yet," that he preferred when Johns was more like a soul singer. But, he added, "I really, really like you and I think you're going to do very, very well in this competition." Perhaps.
David Cook's most embarrassing moment was when he sang in a talent show but forgot the second verse to the song. After a delay (he was supposed to go onstage before Johns) due to difficulty setting up his guitar and amp, he surprised yet again with a wonderful emo-rock arrangement of Lionel Richie's "Hello." It was our favorite moment of the evening. Cook is certainly the dark horse of the males in this competition. Many gave him a weak chance of progressing in the beginning, but he gets better week by week. Randy thought is was a great arrangement, saying "I think that could be a single and be a hit, dude. I thought it was brilliant." Paula agreed that it was fabulous and would be a hit today, saying David changed things up and made perfect choices. Again, she went into her "shining star" routine (as opposed to a tarnished star?). Simon called the performance a very brave thing to do and said he loved it, adding "I like people who go out there and take a few risks. It was unpredictable and I thought it worked. I think Lionel Richie will be very happy when he hears that," adding, "I really, really hope we're going to see you next week." Yea!
Jason Castro was embarrassed when he tried to tie his hair back on a date and one of his dreads came out. Yup, that would be pretty embarrassing. But, man, he just has to lose that stoner act. It's really becoming annoying, like watching "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" over and over again. Castro gave our second favorite performance of the evening, doing the Jeff Buckley version of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah." Everything about his performance was near perfect: Accompanied by only an acoustic guitar player, Castro began seated on a stool in the dark studio with only a spot on him. His voice was sweet and poignant. It was a subtle and very effective rendition of a difficult song, only slightly marred by a broken falsetto note at the end. And the judges loved it. Randy told him that he did a pretty good job of it and that he gave him props for coming out without the guitar and showing a different side. Paula said that Jason made it sound effortless and showed a beautiful vulnerability and that his phrasing is what makes him great. Simon said, "I thought it was absolutely brilliant what you just did." He said that he loved it and that it was arguably one of his favorite performances of the whole night, definitely Jason's strongest so far. He also told Castro that he is getting better and better and better.
The pimp spot of the evening belonged to Chikezie, whose most embarrassing moment was in high school, where, he said, he used the same bathroom every day because it was clean and no one was there. He then discovered it was a girls bathroom. We worried when we heard he was going to change the gender of "All the Man That I Need." We were expecting an off-putting performance like Syesha's "Me and Mr. Jones" last week. But Chikezie pulled it off without a hitch, right down to the song's falsetto notes, and made it sound as if it had been written that way. The fact that Luther Vandross has done a version should have assured us it would work. Still, it wasn't deserving of the night's pimp spot. Either David Cook or Jason Castro should have held that honor. Randy thought it an interesting song choice and said Chikezie did a good job and that he was really impressed. Paula said his vocals sounded really good and that she was very proud of him. Simon first asked, "Did Whitney do it?" When told "yes," he answered, "Then, no, I don't think that worked at all." Huh? Why? If Whitney hadn't done it it would have been OK? We don't get Simon's thinking at all on that one. He also said it was OK in bits, but was much more cabaret than last week (was not). He also said, "I don't think that was a very smart move, personally." It was almost as if Simon was trying to get Chikezie eliminated this week. And if it works, it would be undeserved.
First up was Michael Johns. What we don't know about him: he loves playing tennis. We had relistened to the audio only of last week's performance and decided he had a decent voice and presentation. What turns us off about him is his air of self-assurance, which comes across, to us at least, as verging on arrogance. So we were surprised by his weak performance of Fleetwood Mac's "Go Your Own Way." Perhaps he was trying to imitate Lindsay Buckingham, but the vibrato in his voice was really annoying. Randy Jackson called it a nice way to start off, but that it started a little slow for him and that he was waiting for Johns to let go. Paula Abdul called him consistent and a seasoned performer and said it was a great way to start the show (er, no, it wasn't). For our money, Simon Cowell was spot on when he said it was by far Johns weakest performance of the whole competition, adding "It was what I call coasting along ... There was no moment. It was a very weak choice of song for you."
Last week, we were far less impressed than the judges with Jason Castro 's performance, so we weren't surprised that he was even weaker this week. After an incredibly stupid video that told us he hates doing inteviews (good luck with superstardom, dude), he sang Andy Gibb's "I Just Want to Be Your Everything" ... and wasn't. Once again, he used his guitar, making it increasingly obvious that he is leaning on it because his voice ain't all that and a bag of chips. Randy told him the vocals weren't that great (they weren't last week, either) and that it sounded kinda karaoke. Paula told Randy, "I don't think it was as bad as you heard," (er, yeah, it was), that Jason made a clever song choice, that she liked the way he interpreted it, but that he should lose the guitar next week and "Allow yourself to be more vulnerable as an artist." Thankfully, Simon told him the song was horrible and schmaltzy (Simon knows a Yiddish word!?!), that it didn't suit Jason's voice and that the vocals were very weak.
We learned (well, we didn't, we knew it already) that Luke Menard is a member of the a cappella group Take 6. We were pleasantly surprised -- even if America wasn't -- to see him come back strongly with a good rendition of a tough song, Queen's "Killer Queen." If was certainly one of the hardest, if not the most difficult, song selections of the evening. Luke sang it well and was much more animated than last week. It should have guaranteed him a pass to next week, but, according to those DialIdol numbers, probably won't. Perhaps because he has yet to win Simon over. Randy acknowledged the song's degree of difficulty and told Luke he liked him better this week. Paula agreed, telling Luke he picked the perfect song and that it was a great week for him. Simon, in one of those moments he's having this season when he seems to hearing something different than the rest of us, said, "I'm going to judge that performance and I think it was a mistake." Cowell said with a song like that, you are always going to be judged with the original and that the singer of that song (Freddie Mercury) had charisma and personality and Luke didn't, making him suffer by comparison. He also called it "a bit theatrical and verging on the whiny." But how did you really feel, Simon?
We discovered that Robbie Carrico likes to drag race, and don't doubt that his video segment added to his allure with both guys and gals. Unfortunately, his singing this week didn't. We were excited to hear the opening chords of Foreigner's "Hot Blooded," but the performance was more like an anemic lizard. It just lacked pizzazz and was, well, boring. He's proving what the judges are saying about him not being a true rocker, regardless of his saying that there are all different kinds of rock and apparently he's just not within Simon's vision of what a rocker should be. Nope, sorry, Robbie, you're more of a boy-band singer, and would probably do better sticking to that genre. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Randy told him "I don't know if the rock thing is really, really your thing," and although Robbie did a pretty good job with the song, Jackson was waiting for a "wow" moment that never came. Paula said that in some ways he played it a little safe and that he has to up the ante. Sounding as if he just wanted to be contrary to whatever the other two were saying Tuesday night, Simon told Carrico, "I thought the vocal was okay tonight."
Danny Noriega used to be in a punk rock band when he was in the 9th grade (was that last week?). Are you really surprised that even then Danny was doing anything he could to bring attention to himself. His personality grates more with each passing week, and judging from the DialIdol results, more than just "some people weren't liking it." The difference between him and Sanjaya, is that the latter was seen as vulnerable in the beginning. endearing him to young girls and adults who wanted to mother him. Danny showed some of that vulnerability during the judging segment Tuesday night, but then, *snap*, he's right back to being flamboyantly sassy. Unfortunately, his singing was the worst of the evening. Perhaps, as the judges noted, he was trying too hard with The Carpenters "Superstar," but he was hitting bad notes all over the place. Randy told him there were problems with the vocal and he should have sped the song up a bit. He also said, "I felt like you were thinking while you were singing ... and not just letting yourself sing." Paula agreed, saying he shouldn't overthink it and just perform. Simon, too, focused on that point, saying Danny was overconcentrating, but, on the plus side he also told him he was better than last week, stands out in a crowd (ya think?), is interesting and looks terrific on camera.
David Hernandez was into -- and pretty good at -- gymnastics when he was young. He might have been stiff and nervous last week, but this week's performance of "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" sizzled. One of the best of the evening as far as we're concerned (although we did have a sense of deja vu after seeing it performed -- twice -- on "Dance War"). Randy excitedly exclaimed that this is the David Hernandez that we fell in love with and telling us "That was hot right there." Paula loved his pure voice and said it pierces the heart and that every note was right in the pocket. She also said his personality really came out this week. Simon thought it was the best vocal of the night so far and gave him kudos for treating criticism as a challenge instead of sulking and rising to it. He then paid him the ultimate compliment, "I'm quite happy to hold my hand up and say I am a fan."
Jason Yeager tells us he is a self-taught musician (and some might say a self-taught singer). Although last night's performance of The Dobbie Brothers' "Long Train Runnin'" was roundly trashed by the judges, we kinda liked it. We liked it A LOT better than his rendition of "Moon River." We even thought this week his voice sounded a bit like Steve Winwood's. We liked its tone, we liked his enthusiasm, we liked the performances. The judges felt otherwise. Randy told Jason, "I don't think you did yourself any justice with that song," and called it very pitchy and karaoke, saying "I didn't really get it." Paula, fumbling over herself trying to kindly criticize Jason, finally said, "It's a song that has not many notes in it that doesn't show your vocal range," and that Jason should pick singer's songs. Simon, never at a loss of words to put someone down, told Jason that last week he was boring and this week he was awkward and ordinary. He also hated what he called, "that horrific ending," saying "It was like you were drunk at a party" (ah, the Taylor Hicks' critique) and Jason was "a quite good singer who can't perform very well, so I'm very disappointed." Worse yet for Yeager, Ryan Seacrest had to engage him in that pointless post-performance banter which went on and on, leading Simon to say, they needed Oscar music to cut the finalists off. Hey, it wasn't Jason's fault.
We learned from Chikezie that his name is Nigerian, what it means -- something well-created by God -- and how to pronounce it, but he knows it'll always be mispronounced, so he just goes with the flow. He, too, gave a much improved and enjoyable performance this week, singing Donny Hathaway's "I Believe to My Soul." Like Elliott Yamin, he introduced us to Hathaway's daughter, one of the show's backup singers. Everything about the performance reminded us of why we loved Chikezie going into the semifinals. Things were going swimmingly, that is, until he opened his Big Mouth -- again! -- to Simon. Man, he needs a leash on his lips. Randy told America, Chikezie is back and this is the guy we fell in love with, adding "That was blazing, you were having fun, you were singing at ease, at will, you didn't care what was going on. That was hot." Paula called it brilliant fun. Simon, again about to screw up Chikezie's name, said, "I'm gonna call you Chi," then paid him homage with "You look better. You sounded better. I thought it was a very clever choice of song. It was a million times better than last week." Then Simon asked if Chikezie hadn't agreed with Cowell's criticism after watching last week's show back. Chikezie went into a good-hearted rant about his orange suit and how he didn't agree with Simon at all about it. Simon asked him, "Would you wear it again?" and Chikezie answered, "I wore it on TV, I can't wear it twice, you can't do a replay, only you do that!" The audience went wild and Chikezie immediately started backpedalling with, "Oooh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry ..." Funny for us Chikezie, lethal for you? The DialIdol numbers look real scary this morning.
David Cook reveals that he's a "word nerd." He loves doing word puzzles, crosswords and word searches, he's a vocab guy, i.e. the guy's not only got a voice, but a brain as well. Yes, we still hate his hair (but love that accompanied himself on guitar), but he rocked the house Tuesday night with "All Right Now" by Free. It was our favorite performance of the night (he, in fact, sounds better than Free does on our iPod), and David C. proved he's the true male rocker of Season 7. Michael Johns and Rob Carrico pale by comparison. He's the real deal (even flipping him guitar pick out to the crowd after the performance), and not afraid to admit he's a vocab guy, to boot. Randy agreed, saying "To me you're our real rocker from the boys this year. I actually really, really liked that." Paula called him the real deal and said it was very smart, very fun. Simon, of course, didn't totally agree, saying it was solid and sort of believable, but adding that his intro video didn't help him any -- "tennis, drag racing, to crosswords, it's boring." (Did he think Jason Castro's incoherent one helped him?). He then told David C. he didn't have a lot of charisma. David C stupidly cut Simon off, and told him, "Fortunately, I don't have to win you over with my charisma, I've got to win these people over." Simon's smile literally morphed into a look of shock at the comment.
Last up was David Archuleta, who revealed what the rest of the world has known for months, that when he was 11, he got to meet, and sing for, Kelly Clarkson and the other Season 1 Idols. 
Here's how it went down: First up was David Hernandez, who was first shown during Hollywood Week. We kind of liked him then, although Simon Cowell made it very clear to Hernandez that he had not voted for him to become one of the Chosen 24. We still like David H. (there are currently three Davids in the competition, 2 Jasons, and 2 Cooks. This makes things quite confusing, especially, when Simon says to a different-named contestant, "When David did ..." and we're thinking, "which David?"), and thought his version of "Midnight Hour" was OK. It began with a gospel-tinged opening, which we couldn't decide if we really liked or really disliked, then played into a rather pedestrian version of the song. Still, we found it pleasant, if not inspired. Randy Jackson loved the "whole kind of gospel vibe" but said it fell apart at the end; Paula Abdul thought it had perfect vibrato and was a good job, while Simon said it was better than he thought it would be, but that David H. was very stiff and nervous and that there was nothing distinct about his voice.
The first thing that Chikezie has to do is reclaim his last name. To start out the competition by dropping your last name is just too pretentious, Cher, er, Chikezie. And although going into Week 1 Mr. Eze was one of our favorites, he fell apart for us on Tuesday night. His vocals were weak and pitchy on "More Today Than Yesterday." It came together somewhat by the end of the song, but by then, it was too late for us to care. Frankly, based on that performance, he deserves to be eliminated Thursday night, but will "Idol" eliminate the only black male contestant they have this season in the first week? We doubt it. Randy said it was pretty good, then downgraded that to "aight," after telling Chikezie that he sounded old-fashioned and needed to make the song fresh and young. Paula, on the other hand, thought he was a throwback to great R&B and said it was a very nice job. Simon, who called him Chikoozie (insert laughs), called the whole thing hideous, corny and cheesy, starting with Chikezie's orange suit. Chikezie stupidly decided to dispute this with humor. Hello, does he not remember how this backfired on Chris Sligh? All we can say, Chikezie, is Dead Man Walking. Maybe not this week, but ...
There is something about David Cook that we don't love -- maybe it's the hair -- but we do think he's a good, not great, singer and a strong entertainer. And being a strong entertainer is probably more important than having a great voice, right Madonna? Anyway, we liked David C.'s arrangement and performance of The Turtles' "Happy Together." For us, at least, he's a keeper and should wind up in the finals. Randy thought it started out a little weird but that David worked it out and made it rock, which Paula agreed to, telling David that he made it something original. Simon -- whose theme last night was telling contestants they sounded old-fashioned and that they needed to add a contemporary twist to old songs -- said he thought it was good, adding "It's a weird song to choose because I never heard that song sung like that before ... you almost made it believable." Well, isn't what you were asking for, Simon?
Poor Jason Yeager. He seems sweet and nice. He has an adorable little boy and a pleasant voice ... but he's also deadly dull. Not that we didn't like his version of "Moon River." But then we loved the song when Andy Williams sang it, too. This performance was definitely stuck in the 60s. Although Jason Y. can sing, he just doesn't strike us the next great American pop star. If he's spared elimination this week, it's only because they kept showing his cute little mini-me. Randy and Paula offered nothing substantial in commentary. He hesitantly said "You definitely did a pretty good job with that song," she, beaming, added, "I did my first ballet recital to that song." Er, OK. We totally agreed with Simon, who told Jason Y. that he came over much older on that song and that it was very cruise ship (we were thinking more Holiday Inn lounge, but whatev).
We really like Robbie Carrico. He's got the whole package: voice, looks, stage presence. He was beyond comfortable performing Three Dog Night's "One," but then he's had a lot of previous stage experience. He was a member of a boy-girl band that toured with Britney Spears (and, allegedly, was one of Spears' boyfriends, but, then, who hasn't been?). Prior to "Idol" he was in a rock band. His performance was strong, but he still has too much boy band in him to be a true rocker; he's like a rocker with a boy band voice. He needs to acquire a bit more edge, and you can't get that with clothes alone. Randy told him it was a very nice and that Robbie had moved him. Paula said Robbie had picked the perfect song and was authentic. Simon said it was a good performance and the only current performance, but, like us, Simon wasn't convinced yet that Robbie was very comfortable "in this rock thing." Robbie assured that that is who he is.
OK, we know everyone out there is going to disagree with this, but we just can't stand David Archuleta. Can you say "precocious." Yes he has a good voice, yes he won "Star Search" when he was 12, and, yes, he's a little manufactured entertainer and one that is being pimped by "Idol." Maybe we're just missing the cuteness gene. We know he'll make it to the finals and the Top 10, but, sorry, we're already tuned out. Randy told he was really brilliant and "just born with this gift" (ugh!) and that he loved it. Paula, for some absurd reason, called it a brave and bold choice and that he did a great job. Even Simon got on board the kiss fest with "When you got it, you got it. That was, by a comfortable mile, the best performance of the night so far." No comment.
Yes, we can't wait for Danny Noriega to be eliminated. He seems to think that the reason he is on "Idol" is to *snap* display his attitude with a capital "A," instead of perform. His performance of "Jailhouse Rock" was so camp, it bordered on ridiculous, which is sad, because he's previously displayed that he has a good voice. And his dancing, much as we love Taylor Hicks, came straight from the Hicks' School of Dance. We're surprised that Cowell, who hates the Season 6 winner, didn't make the connection, especially because Hicks sang the same song during Elvis Week. Maybe Danny needed to add a Woo! to the end. Randy hemmed and hawed with it was pretty good and the vocals were OK, then inexplicably ended with "It was kinda hot." Paula, who obviously likes the flamboyant Danny, started going on about the colors in his voices, something that Simon made fun of the rest of the evening. (every time someone sang, he asked her what color it was). 
Simon, disgusted, got straight to the point, calling Danny's performance verging on grotesque, hideous and awful. This led to a two-minute fight between the judges. When they were through, Ryan asked Danny what he thought. He said that he thought the song would be a fun one for the first week, *snap* "but some people weren't liking it." Season 7's Sanjaya has arrived. Can't wait to see what Danny will do with his Sanjaya-like hair as the weeks go on.
Luke Menard is definitely the best-looking guy in the compeitition. He sings with an a cappella band and has a Kenny Loggins-like tenderness to his voice. We so wanted to like him as a singer, but his version of "Everybody's Talkin' " was weakly pleasant and very forgettable. The judges felt the same. Could the best-looking guy this season be eliminated on the first go-round? Yep. Randy called it very pitchy and consistently sharp and said it wasn't great for him. Paula tried to say it sucked, but got lost in her own incoherency. Simon simply called Luke's performance forgettable, saying no one is going to remember that as being either a great performance or a great vocal. Luke respectfully disagreed, saying people would remember him. His looks, maybe. His voice, never.
Unfortunately, Luke started a string of forgettable singers. Colton Berry is so fair and bland physically (he thinks he looks like Ellen DeGeneres) and personality-wise, he almost disappears. His version of "Suspicious Minds" reminded us for the second time in one night how good Elvis was and these contestants aren't. It was no better than what you'd hear in a karaoke bar. No style, nothing even remotely memorable, entering Colton in this week's deserves-to-go pool. Randy thought he did a pretty good job. Paula said it wasn't his best performance but was an "eager and fun attempt" (not the reason we're watching the show). Simon said it was OK, but added that Colton had no relevance in today's music industry.
We slept through most of Leif Garrett look-alike Garrett Haley's performance (does he wear his hair that way because they share a name?) He has a strange high voice, but it worked on Neil Sedaka's "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do," perhaps because Sedaka also has a high voice. What didn't work was the slow pace of the song. The original up-tempo hit has always been the better version and, at the very least, Haley should have mixed the two, but he didn't. BIG MISTAKE. Randy said there were a couple of pitch problems and it was just kinda boring. Paula said he should change it up and that the slow tempo brought the performance down. Simon called in boring, said Haley's voice sounded a bit whiny and that he looked terrified verging on haunted. Will America find breaking up with Haley hard to do? Probably not.
The judges loved Jason Castro, the first contestant to play an instrument during an "American Idol" competition (the guitar). We aren't in love ... yet. Although the audience was clapping along, his version of The Lovin' Spoonful's "Daydream" was more hayride than "Hootenanny" for us. John Sebastian can still sleep at night. But he's cute, personable and his dreadlocked-look should appeal to the girls. Plus, his audition shows that his voice has real potential. So we think he'll slide into the finals easily. Randy said it didn't blow him away but it was alright. Paula said "You did blow me away," that the song was absolutely perfect for him, and that he had nailed it. Simon said it was one of the top two performances of the night, it was current and effortless and that Jason has charisma (we agree on that). He ended with "I think it was terrific."
In the pimp spot, was the contestant the producers have been pimping since the season began: Australian Michael Johns. How much are they pimping him? Ryan began his segment with, "Have we saved the best for last?" Well, no. He has a good voice, but if he were any more full of himself, he might explode. And we don't think he comes close to touching Jim Morrison on The Doors' "Light My Fire." But, like Season 4's Constantine Maroulis, he's very savvy at choosing songs. In addition, he's a seasoned performer, whose band was once signed to Madonna's Maverick Records. So, arrogance be damned. Between his looks, accent, song selections and voice, he certainly has a chance of winning it all. Randy said "You sing great. I feel like I'm seeing a true legend rock performer," with Paula chiming in, "You did set everyone on fire." Simon told him he is "the most consistent contestant we've had. Every one of your auditions I've loved." and that he has "the natural charisma of a lead singer. You have just got it." Shall we just crown him now?
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