American Idol Unauthorized

Want the dirt on the show you can't keep away from? A new DVD, "American Idol Unauthorized," claims to have it, but according to this review in The Toronto Star, the DVD will show you a lot of complaining and moaning -- by "experts" and losing contestants -- that the show is rigged, manipulated, racist, cruel and swirling with nasty truths, but provide no proof to back up their claims.

The DVD's producers (whose catalogue also includes such memorable releases as "The Secrets of Princess Diana: The Royal Seance," "S.W.A.T. Uncensored" and "Operation UFO")interviewed pundits, fans, experts and a few Grade B-D actors: Mindy Sterling ("Austin Powers"), Kate Flannery ("The Office"), Rex Lee ("Entourage"), Christina Moore ("That '70s Show") and Marilu Henner, as well as former contestants, including Jim Verraros (Season 1), Kimberly Caldwell (Season 2), Corey Clark (Season 2), Julia DeMato (Season 2), Lindsey Cardinale (Season 4), Jessica Sierra (Season 4) and Scott Savol (Season 4). They even have Ed McMahon! In other words, the complete loser brigade.

The Star describes the DVD as being filled with torqued narration, groan-inducing graphics, cheesy sound effects, moralizing and, oh yes, laughably bad production values. And then there is the gripefest:

• Verraros claims producers stage-managed reality by reshooting certain scenes: "We're all crying and we're bawling our eyes out. Okay, like, every emotion that happens is real. And then they ask us to do it again, cry harder." When talking about the contracts would-be Idols were pressured to sign, he says "they raped us." (adds the reporter: I'm pretty sure he's speaking metaphorically.)


• DeMato claims there was shocking inequality when it came to expert support: "The vocal coaches paid more attention to certain contestants that made it very far on my season." (adds the reporter: But doesn't this raise a chicken-egg proposition?)


• Savol says producers used dishonest editing to make him appear lazy: "They just made me look like I didn't want to practice with these guys ... I'm sitting there watching it and I'm like, 'Is this serious?' " (adds the reporter: When he says this, he sounds really ... lazy.)


• Clark says producers balked when black contestants requested a hairstylist who knew how to deal with, say, cornrows. "We had to find our own stylist to do our hair and pay them," Clark says. "The other contestants were getting their hair done for free." Clark also claims Paula was unhappy with the show and even considered a lawsuit. (A producer, he adds, spat in Paula's face at a party after she failed to utter a pre-arranged comment on the show.) On a separate note, Clark says judge Randy Jackson overuses the word "dawg," which gives "black folks a bad name." He also calls Jackson "fake" and worse, "Hollywood."


• The documentary then raises the spectre of an unfair voting system. According to the film, the FCC has received more than 2,000 viewer requests to investigate Idol. Tom O'Neil, senior editor with In Touch magazine, says: "We know that the voting on American Idol is rigged." The theory goes something like this: Producers pick winners then manipulate the outcome, usually by "jamming" the phone lines of unwanted contestants. Exhibit A, the critics point out, is the Season 2 finale that had Ruben Studdard beat Clay Aiken even though national polling predicted a landslide victory for the latter.

"American Idol Unauthorized" doesn't offer any hard evidence to back up any of these anecdotal charges. The reporter says that Fox and producer Fremantle were not even invited to respond to the charges in what he calls this "episode of the E! True Hollywood Story."

The DVD won't be available in the U.S. until April 10th and will retail for $19.99. If you must see it yourself, shop around. We've checked, and you can pre-order it for far less at many U.S. retailers. The cheapest price we found was at Deep Disount DVD. You can pre-order it there for $10.89 including free shipping. It's your call.

NOTES FROM NIGEL

Idol executive producer Nigel Lythgoe (who also is an executive producer and judge on "So You Think You Can Dance") held a conference call with the press last week. Everybody keeps wondering about Paula Abdul's job security. Reading this, we don't think Paula has anything to worry about. However, we don't know about Randy Jackson. We couldn't help but notice that Lythgoe took a couple of nasty little potshots at his judge. Here are some of his comments from the official Fox transcript:

On whether Paula Abdul is just an over the top theatrical personality: Yes, she is. She won't like me saying that. But she is. ... Unfortunately, once you get in your head that she's drunk or she's taking drugs, neither of which she does, she certainly doesn’t do social drugs or even drink, so once you've got that in your head it's very difficult. We look when we're editing the show nowadays and say, "Hey, are people going to think she's drunk for doing that?" We try and take that into account.

At the same time, we don't want to stop her personality. She leads with her heart. She cares about the kids. And she wants to protect them. But she's also an extrovert person. She's really the only performer in the three of them. Randy Jackson, obviously, played bass guitar, but he'd just stand there with his hat pulled over his eyes and not do anything.

On whether contestants will be permitted to blog: Once they're in the top 24 and the top 12, they will not be allowed to blog. We'll put a screen up to explain that they are involved in the show, and they can no longer blog until later. ... We don't want anything slipping out. If we've got major stars coming on that we want to do a big publicity thing with. "Hey, Michael Jackson is coming to American Idol this week," then I’ve got to leave that up to Fox publicity to put out there, not have it slip out with somebody telling their Mom that Michael Jackson is coming.

On whether the contestants have become more sophisticated: I think the thousands that come nowadays ... are more sophisticated. But, certainly, as we go down, they know they shouldn’t screw up their lyrics. There is one young lady in Hollywood who I would have said would have been in the top five this year that got cut purely and simply because she couldn’t remember her lyrics in a group. She just "Ma, Ma, Ma," for the whole of the song. It broke my heart. But they have to have reasons to cut you, and that was the reason that this young lady will disappear off the show. It's sad, but that's what a competition is. You've got to work every single day, and everyone that comes nowadays to Hollywood knows there's no get out here.

On whether more contestants are hiding police records from Idol: ... We don't get involved, as the producers of the show, in the background checks. That goes out to a private company and Fox. We are informed at the end of the day, "You can’t invite this person, that person, or this person." And we don't ask why. To be frank, we're not interested.

If Fox believes that it will damage the show, or damage Fox, or damage the production, then it's best that they just don't come along. With the checks that Fox do, I think you can only do so much. Every season we get something in SmokingGun because somebody gets through the net, and their so-called friends or family will call up SmokingGun, and it's a lot easier to find out about people when people want to tell you about it, rather than you going and doing searches.

On why we don't see more of the good auditions: There just isn't time. If you just do the math for yourself, just do the math of what the show would be, because you've obviously got to have comments, we've got to show you what they're doing, and the stress and trying to understand the stress, so it's not just a complete series of people singing, and multiply it by 172. And most of the time the people that do come are lost on the first day. A hell of a lot this season lost on the first day, and it’s boring, to be frank. At this point we’ve got to almost follow the people that we know, that we care about, and are going through to the rest of the series, because otherwise we're just investing in people we're never going to see again.

On how they decide which contestants they're going to do film and profile: Backgrounds, where they come from, their stories, their human interest, what we believe our viewers will enjoy seeing, what makes you care. Our job, we believe, is to stimulate an audience that sits down to watch a little box in the corner of the room. If we can make them angry, if we can make them cry, if we can make them happy, if we can stimulate any emotion in them then we're doing our job. However we do that, sometimes we overstep the mark with getting them angry. Sometimes I believe we overstep the mark in making them cry.

But if it affects me and if I get emotional, I think that's going to transfer into the public. If they care, then they will continue to watch the series. And, more importantly, they will pick up a telephone and vote for the person that they like. This isn't just a voyeuristic program, it's an interactive program, and we ask you to pick up a telephone and give a crap.

On eliminated contestant Akron Watson: Being asked to continue is Hollywood, and it's got nothing to do with his story and his performance. When he came along and auditioned, we treated him like everybody else. I'm not privy to what the guy's done for the rest of his life. We certainly couldn't do that over 100,000 contestants that come along. We treat everybody the same, or attempt to, and he was part of that process. Whether he's invited back or not by Fox does not concern me regarding what he did at that audition. If he'd have murdered somebody we would have thought twice, and if the mother would come forward and say, "But he murdered my son, how could you put him on television?" Then we would certainly attempt to stop him being on television. But as far as I'm concerned we've just been asked not to bring him back to Hollywood.

On whether he has a favorite contestant this season: My favorite was cut out. ... I can't name my favorite. It is a girl; I've got to be honest with you. Hopefully, she'll come back next year. I certainly don't want to compromise her with anybody else if she comes back in further years. "Wasn't that Nigel's favorite? If she gets through I'll bet she gets through because she's Nigel's favorite." So I wouldn’t do that. I’ll only talk about my favorites after they’ve been through American Idol and come out the other side. I can tell you Chris Daughtry was my favorite from last year.

About extending the age limit for contestants in the past ... and future: I think that's brought us some more maturity and a little more professionalism in certain areas. We're happy about that. I wouldn't mind extending it even further next year, to be honest. [the questioner then asks, "You would go to 30?] Yes, I would. I'll have to discuss it with everybody else, but I don't know why 28. I really don't know why 30. But I guess we're just about managing to cope with the hundreds and thousands that we're getting at the moment. Opening up any more and I'm frightened to death how many people we'll get.

On whether they are considering doing an Idol All-Star edition: It's something that I'm trying to make work this season. They're talking about doing a song competition on the Web, and have people write songs for the next American Idol finale. Because whenever they come out and sing a song on the American finale, the only bloody criticism Randy Jackson can do is, "I don't like that song." That's not very helpful. They're going to be putting it out next week and trying to sell it, and here's you saying, "I don't like the song."

[And we're sure Jackson didn't score any points from Lythgoe when he said this about the songwriting contest in the Feb. 5 issue of TV Guide: "Finding a great song is like trying to find a diamond in a million square miles of tar. There's a ton of great singers out there. There's not a ton of great songs. Just look at the charts. Every year there may be five or six great songs. And that's out of eight million records released."]

So the way to do it, some bright spot thought, why don't we let America choose the song they're going to sing, as well as their idol? Then we sort of encapsulate the whole
thing. My idea was, okay, well give me ten songs, and I will bring back 10 Idol finalists to sing them on a special, and then America can really see them rather than just have them on the Web and download them or whatever. Let's see Constantine Maroulis again, let's see Ace Young, let's see Vonzell, Tamyra Gray, and all of the great people that we voted for over the years. I'd love to do that. And with good reason at the end of the day for doing it, which is to produce the song that the next American Idol is going to sing. ... I've pitched it to Fox, and Fox hasn't come back to me yet and said yes or no.

On how they determine which contestants get paired in hotel rooms in Hollywood and whether they have a curfew: The curfew isn't in place when they are doing their groups because we like to get them exhausted. The whole reason for doing groups is that when you get through to American Idol, and you're on live television, you go through that process. The day after your show, which is a Tuesday, that night you're given a song to learn, in a group for the next day for the results show. Sometimes, a big long medley. We don't really want to give you that to worry about before you do your own performance on the Tuesday.

So the stress and the strain of that Tuesday night after the show is enormous on the kids, and we want to make sure that they can cope with that. So we put them through that terrible, "We're going to shove you in a group. See if you get on with people. And we're going to keep you up all night singing it, and then we’re going to be rude to you the next morning and abuse you the next morning." That is what the actual show does.

On how hard the grind is for contestants: I don't think a lot of people realize how tough it is once you get into the top 24, and the top 12 is even tougher. Now, you've got to learn songs and sing them in front of a major star who you may have loved all your life, and be told it's not good enough. Then get through that whole week. They're doing the Ford stuff, they're taking out to premieres that they probably don't want to see, and it is a tough, tough week. The more successful you are, the tougher it gets. So we have to know that people can cope with that.

THE FINAL WORD ON JUDGE MEANNESS

We've heard far too much about how the judges are meaner this season. We think those who are saying this are Idol newbies, critics who are just getting onboard with Idol and haven't watched the show in previous seasons. Maybe they need to spend a bit more time in front of their TV's watching "American Idol Rewind."

Anyone who is familiar with the show knows that the judges are no meaner, or nicer, than before. That includes Idol executive producer Nigel Lythgoe, who said, "We were no crueler this year than we ever have been any other year. ... It has always been, for some people, cruel, and for other people, honest. But this season, for me, no more and no less ... Simon Cowell is nothing if not honest. The first season he was booed, the second season he was jeered, the third season he was cheered, fourth season everybody said, 'You know what, you say all the things that I would like to say.' Fifth season it was, 'You're saying everything I'm thinking.' Sixth season, 'It's you're crueler than you normally are.' Well, the answer is no we're not."

But the final word goes to Season 1 semi-finalist Natalie Burge. During the selection of the 10 finalists, when Ryan Seacreast asked a group of semi-finalists whether they had any questions for the judges, Natalie asked:

"I was just wondering if you guys feel bad about some of the blunt, harsh and, some people say, just plain mean comments that you made to some of the contestants? I was wondering if you feel bad at all? Can you sleep at night?"

And Simon Cowell answered:

"Well look, my mouth thinks faster perhaps than my brain. And sometimes, yes, you do say things which, you know, when I watch the show back, you kind of think, 'Oh, god,' you know? But, that's the way it is, you know? This is a talent competition, and some people were very good ... some people were dreadful last night. That's just the way talent competitions go. Sorry."

So there! Even at the very beginning some of the contestants thought Simon was mean. Natalie even wondered how the judges could sleep at night. Nothing has changed one iota.

e-mail Idol Addict
© 2007

Idols in Undies

We knew Ebony Jointer, one of the trio of roller-skating carhops on the "The Best of the Rest" audition show, was a hot little number, but we didn't know how hot until Reality TV Magazine uncovered that during the 2005 season, the 23-year-old from Hacienda Heights, Calif., was a member of the Chicago Bliss, a Lingerie Football League team that competed in the Lingerie Bowl, a pay-per-view flesh football contest that aired during halftime shows.

Ebony's other career highlight is a turn as "Bikini Model #5" in the movie "Pauly Shore Is Dead" (a more egregious credit than Lingerie Football in our view). She is also credited on an Internet modeling site with having been on "America's Next Top Model," though not as a contestant. FOX had no comment on Jointer's previous career excursions, but we can't help wondering whether her resume played a part in why the golden-throated skater did not appear on the leaked Top 24 list.

AKRON: IDOL INFORMED

TMZ.com reports that fallen Idol contestant Akron Watson is claiming that FOX producers knew about his 2003 pot bust, "from the very very first day, before I even auditioned."

On a radio interview with "Tony & Cappy In the Morning" on KDMX in Dallas, Watson said producers have still not come clean with him about why he was told he wouldn't be making the trip to Hollywood. "I questioned and questioned, and they had a psychologist call me because they thought that I might be flipping out, but I just really wanted to know why I went down there and earned my ticket and didn't get a chance to go."

Although there is speculation that the marijuana conviction led to Watson's dismissal, it seems unlikely to us. Criminal or unsavory backgrounds have led to contestant eliminations in the past (i.e. the Brittenum twins during Season 5's Hollywood rounds) -- even during the live rounds (Jaered Andrews, Frenchie Davis and Corey Clark in Season 2). But in the midst of Season 4, TheSmokingGun.com revealed that contestant and eventual runner-up Bo Bice had a couple of arrests and one conviction for drug possession, while fellow finalist Scott Savol had been arrested for domestic abuse. Neither Bice nor Savol were eliminated for their pasts. Reps for "Idol" continue to have no comment on the controversy.

WHAT SONG WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

People magazine asked some celebs what song they'd choose for an Idol audition. Here are their answers:

• Nelly Furtado: I would sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" just to be different.
• Neil Patrick Harris: "Rocket Man" by Elton John. It has good range. It tells a bit of a story but it's not so straight on the nose like I'm singing about long-lost love or something. And Elton John is pretty kick-ass.
• Deborah Gibson: I would sing "Lost in Your Eyes" so I could get the royalty check since I wrote it. No, really, I would sing something by Richard Marx because his melodies are amazing and then there's no pressure to sound like the original artist because he's a man. I think the biggest mistake (contestants) make is singing a song by someone of the same sex who they can't hold a candle to. So I'd probably sing "Right Here Waiting for You." Something simple and melodic.
• Katie Couric: "Faithless Love" by Linda Ronstadt.
• Lauren Conrad (The Hills): Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'." I've karaoke'd it many times.
• Andy Roddick: I don't sing. If I ever did something musical for a girl it would not end up in me getting her. It would end up in her walking away. I wish I was musical. I am so jealous of people who can sing. Maybe if they had Menudo night or .Bananarama with some fun 80s music, I could get away with something
• Billy Bob Thornton: I'd sing "When The Levee Breaks" [by Led Zeppelin]. That's a song that's very apt for the times.

PORE IN NAME, RICH IN HEART

According to Celebrity Spider, 64-year-old Sherman Pore, who sang The Duprees' "You Belong to Me" on the L.A. audition show, says he petitioned the show's producers to let him sing for the judges as a tribute to his late partner, Melissa Miller, who had died just two days before audition. Since the show aired, Pore has since appeared on a number of news shows, where he has fought back tears to explain his decision to become an American Idol.

He said, "She passed away on Friday morning and for the next day and a half I was sitting around the apartment dumping several buckets of tears, and she said, 'Stop your crying, get off your tail and go out and do what you promised.' "

For those of you who missed Pore's touching audition, you can catch it on YouTube here.

IDOL ALUMNI NEWS

Fans of Season 2 finalist Kimberley Locke can catch the video of her new single, "Change" (see Chartwatch below), exclusively on AmericanIdol.com. Listening to it is another reminder of how much talent has flowed from Idol in a scant five years.

Locke's sophomore album, "Based on a True Story," scheduled for an April release, is a much more “hands-on” project for the singer, who only co-wrote one song on her first album. She assisted in the writing of nine songs on "Based."

The song-writing sessions were a very emotional experience for Locke, who admitted she cried during many because they entailed divulging aspects of her personal life to her co-writers. The song "Change" is about a pivotal moment in Kimberley's life when she was deciding whether or not to stay with her ex-fiance.

Locke still keeps in touch with many people from Idol, particularly those who were behind-the-scenes, including music director Michael Orland, makeup artist Mezghan Hussainy and hair stylist Dean Banowetz. She also talks regularly to both Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken.

Locke's business interests include Croton Creek Steakhouse and Wine Bar in Croton, N.Y. She’s also taking acting lessons and will be touring in support of the album release in late summer or early fall.

... She only came in 7th on Season 3 of Idol, but in the past two months Jennifer Hudson has won the Golden Globe and SAG Best Supporting Actress awards for her role as Effie White in "Dreamgirls," as well as an Oscar nomination in the same category. Now on Feb. 25 at 7 p.m., Hudson will be interviewed by Barbara Walters for her annual pre-Oscars special.

Hudson, who will discuss her Idol experience, tells Walters that if she had won "America Idol" she probably would not have gotten the role of Effie. Also appearing on the special are Hudson's "Dreamgirls" co-star and Best Supporting Actor nominee Eddie Murphy, as well as Best Actress nominee Helen Mirren and Oscar host Ellen DeGeneres.

... Donna Reynolds' Idol Chartwatch reports that Katharine McPhee’s new CD debuted at #2 on the Billboard 200, selling 116,000 copies in its first week, second only to Norah Jones’ "Not Too Late." McPhee's album was #5 on the Internet Album sales chart and #2 on the Digital list. Katharine’s staying power on the charts will depend on how well her single “Over It” does.

"Daughtry" took third place this week, with almost 77,000 more copies sold in the album’s 11th week of release. The album was #8 on the Internet Album sales chart, #6 on the Digital chart and #1 on Top Rock Albums.

"Dreamgirls," featuring Jennifer Hudson, was #7 on the Billboard 200, #16 on the Internet Album sales chart, #1 on the Soundtracks chart and #4 on Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums.

Carrie Underwood’s "Some Hearts" dropped 10 spots to #24 on the Billboard 200. It was #3 on the Country chart; Taylor Hicks was down 13 spots to #76 on the Billboard 200; Fantasia was #90 on the Billboard 200 and #18 on the R&B/Hip-Hop chart; Kellie Pickler’s "Small Town Girl" was #87 on the Billboard 200 and #12 on the Country chart. Ruben Studdard’s "The Return" was #62 on the R&B/Hip-Hop chart; Kelly Clarkson’s "Breakaway" was #40 on the Pop Catalog chart.

This Week’s Idols Singles Charts

Katharine McPhee’s “Over It” debuted on five charts, including the Hot 100 (#48), the Pop 100 (#40), the Pop 100 Airplay chart (#44), Hot Digital Tracks (#25) and Hot Digital Songs (#32); Kellie Pickler’s “I Wonder” broke into the Country chart at #60. Her single “Red High Heels” was #78 on the Hot 100 and #77 on the Pop 100; Chris Daughtry’s “It’s Not Over” was #4 on the Hot 100, #15 on the Hot 100 Airplay chart, #3 on the Pop 100, #7 on the Pop 100 Airplay chart, #3 on Hot Digital Tracks, #3 on Hot Digital Sales and #5 on the Adult Top 40 listing; Bucky Covington’s “A Different World” was #41 on the Country chart; Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” was #37 on the Hot 100, #42 on the Hot 100 Airplay chart, #45 on the Pop 100, #49 on the Pop 100 Airplay chart, #31 on Hot Digital Tracks, #39 on Hot Digital Sales and #26 on the Adult Top 40. Her latest single, “Wasted,” broke into the Hot 100 at #94 and was #67 on the Hot 100 Airplay chart. It was #14 on the Country chart; Clay Aiken’s “A Thousand Days” was #28 on the Adult Contemporary chart; Kimberley Locke’s “Change” was #19 on the Adult Contemporary chart; Jennifer Hudson’s “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going” was #79 on the Hot 100, #55 on the Hot 100 Airplay chart, #17 on the Hot R&B/Hip Hop Singles chart, #17 on the R&B Airplay chart and #10 on the R&B Adult airplay list; Fantasia’s “Hood Boy” was #36 on the Hot R&B/Hip Hop Singles chart, #36 on the R&B Airplay chart and #34 on the Adult R&B list; Ruben Studdard’s “Change Me” was #22 on the Hot R&B/Hip Hop Singles, #22 on the R&B/Hip-Hop Airplay Chart and #2 on the R&B Adult airplay list. It was #73 on the Hot 100 Airplay chart; Josh Gracin’s “I Keep Coming Back” was #30 on the Country chart.

Katharine McPhee’s “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” / “My Destiny” was #4 on the Single Sales chart this week, and Taylor Hicks’ “Do I Make You Proud” / “Takin’ it to the Streets” was #15.

e-mail Idol Addict
© 2007

San AnTone Deaf

San Antonio, the last city of auditions we'll have to sit through this season (with the exception of tonight's "Best(?) of the Rest" audition show). What can we say? Yea! Thank god it's over. Now, please, let's move on with the competition. Three weeks of auditions is about two weeks too much.

Although we learned 22 made it through in this Texas town famous for the Alamo, it was again one of those evenings when bad outweighed good. In fact, we thought there was barely anyone worth mentioning until Jimmy McNeal (or Jimbo, as Simon called him), the final auditioner, took the stage. Loaded with charisma, an engaging smile and a good voice, he gave a thoroughly enjoyable rendition of "Cupid" (it was actually a Sam Cooke medley that began with "Another Saturday Night," then morphed into "Cupid"). Jimmy easily and deservedly earned his Golden Ticket. There was a giggler at the end when Ryan encouraged McNeal, 23, to tell his little girl that's he's going to Hollywood and she looked him straight in the eye and said, "So."

The evening didn't start out that smoothly. First up was Bryan Kyrish, 27, of San Antonio. When he described himself as a combination Billy Idol-Ozzy-AC/DC, we knew we were in trouble. Anytime contestants use a hyphenate to describe their sound, you know that the only thing they sound like is bad.

Kyrish's loud, animated and scary rendition of Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" made rocker Idol's original version sound as if it had been sung on Prozac. All we could say was we didn't want "more, more, more." And although the judges agreed, they seemed almost afraid to tell the rather large and aggressive-seeming Kyrish that his performance sucked. They rather gently thanked and dismissed him.

In total contrast to Kyrish was the meek Jasmine Holland, who timidly entered the room and barely spoke to the judges before she broke into a nasal and off-key performance that was so bad that the Randy didn't even try to hide his laughter, while Simon unsuccessfully attempted not to snicker. However, after being told she wasn't any good, formerly meek Jasmine turned into a hellcat telling the judges they were rude and negative. Well, yeah, with a singing voice like hers what did she expect? After dissing Randy, Jasmine angrily left the audition room, returning to the bosom of her waiting family, who, in one of the evening's funniest moments, started dumping on foreigner Simon. How dare he judge an American, they said, when only Americans know what true music talent sounds like ... What is he French? After Ryan told them that Simon's British, Jasmine's mother retorted, "He should fly back to British." BTW, they also had a sign that read: "Jasmine: Are Next American Idol." Uh-huh.

We also had to suffer through the bizarre Sandie Chavez, 21, who claimed to have sung for the mayor of Houston (is he hearing impaired?). Simon said, and we agreed, that he couldn't understand one word of "Black Velvet" that came out of her mouth and asked if she was serious. At this point, the clearly delusional Sandie (who we later were told is a music teacher!) broke down in tears. Paula tried to placate her, but Simon made another deprecating remark, so Paula hit him. Yea! These are the Idol moments we live for.

Then there was Jacob "Jake the Snake" Tutor, 21, who we were sure was separated at bush, er, birth from Kenneth Briggs. Oh no! Another one with weird eyes, a pointy chin and wispy mustache. What is it this season with those strange looks and locked audition-room doors? After trying to hide his sniggering behind his Coke glass, Simon told Tutor that he should only sing in a dark bedroom. Tutor gave us a bleeped barrage of obscenities as he exited the audition room.

A montage of bad singers featured Deborah, who was asked by Simon how people usually reacted when she sang. She answered, "Sometimes they cry," to which he retorted, "I'm not surprised."

Then there were cousins William Green and Akron Watson. William, a big lumbering guy, took f-o-r-e-v-e-r to badly sing "Amazing Grace." Randy started laughing right away and Paula joined in. Green seemed to know he couldn't sing and took it well when Randy said he thought the song was going to take a couple of days to finish and Simon told him it was neverending. On his way out, he set it up with the judges that he was going to "talk some trash" for the cameras as he exited, shocking his cousin, who was not in on the joke, but leaving Randy, Paula and, especially, Simon in stitches in the audition room after he left.

Fortunately, cousin Akron, 23, was much better. Simon told him he has a good voice but a personality problem and that he had been bored by the performance. Akron broke into another song after Paula told him he should be doing something to change Simon's mind. The three decided to give him a second chance in Hollywood. But in a weird turn of events, not shown on the show, Watson was called by one of the show's producers just prior to his Hollywood departure and told he had been eliminated.

"They said we're not gonna let you go. And I asked 'Why?' " Watson told Dallas' Pegasus News. "And he said 'Well I'm not really sure' ... and then he gave me some alternatives for what I should say to people if they asked why I was kicked off ... He told me to tell people that I was now an alternate ... That would protect [me] and protect the show."

"Idol" had already filmed a feature on Watson to be used on the show, during which the singer discussed the obstacles he had overcome, including the times he skipped school and chased girls, as well as his drinking and pleading guilty to possession of marijuana after police found pot in his car. Watson said he also discussed his “wakeup call” and dedication to being a good Christian after his brother died.

When the paper’s reporter contacted the show’s publicist to inquire about Watson’s sudden and unexpected elimination, he was told that the show would never give a reason for Watson’s removal from the competition. Watson has started a “Bring AkBack” campaign on his MySpace.com site.

Meanwhile, Ashlyn Carr, 18 of Sugar Land, had an experience that was a first time ever happening on "Idol." She sang Nina Simone's "Feeling Good," and the judges really liked her voice but expressed concern over the strange expressions she made and the way she contorted her face while singing. Randy and Paula gave her a thumbs down. After she tearily left the audition room, Simon said he would have said "yes," and was concerned that they shouldn't have dismissed her, at which point Randy and Paula said, well then bring her back in. Ryan chased the family into the street and brought Ashlyn back to the room to audition again. The singing was once again fine, and the judges, though still concerned about her facial expressions, decided to give her another chance in Hollywood.

However, in another strange quirk of fate, it turns out that Carr also appears to have a police record. As Reality TV Magazine reports, an August 26, 2006 article on MySanAntonio.com about the "American Idol" San Antonio auditions mentions Sam Houston State University student Ashlyn Carr, 18, of Sugar Land, while a November 14, 2006 article in The Houstonian Online, the student paper of Sam Houston State University, reports on a student who had sugar poured into his gas tank. The student gave the University Police Department a list of people that he thought might be responsible. The paper says that, “One of those suspects, Ashlyn Carr, 19, was called in by UPD and confessed to the crime. She was arrested on Criminal Mischief charges, a state jail felony and booked into the Walker County Jail.” Since the arrest occurred after Ashlyn’s Idol audition, it is uncertain what impact it had on her continued participation.

Two other singers that were shown made it through. We thought they were adequate, but not outstanding nor memorable. The first was Haley Scarnato, 24, who sang "I Can't Make You Love Me." Paula liked her control, but Randy was unsure and Simon thought she was a bit cabaret. But they decided to grant her a second chance.

Faring a bit better was 16-year-old Baylie Brown. Although her looks reminded us of a blonde Jessica Biel, her small-town farm girl story and prettiness were reminscient of Carrie Underwood. When they showed a clip of her home and the horses in their barn in Krum, we wondered whether, like Carrie, she was going to tell us that she sang to the animals. This country girl who loves fashion and is aching to break free to the city easily won her Golden Ticket after singing Faith Hill's "Stronger." Simon found her very commercial and marketable and a record label's dream (though in a wonderful Duh! Moment, Baylie inquired whether that was good), and told her she was born to be a pop star, while Paula waxed poetic about Brown's name, saying she wished that her name was Baylie.

LONG ISLAND'S OWN

According to a story by Ronnie Gill in Newsday it looks as it Long Island gets another shot at the Idol title this year with Jared "JL" Cotter. Cotter, 25, who tried out at the New York-area session, has not yet been shown auditioning in any of the show's clips. But the R&B and hip-hop artist with Usher-like good looks and style has a Web site that has been temporarily taken down, not unusual for contestants who have progressed to "Idol's" live rounds.

Cotter's musical pedigree seems impeccable according to a biography of him on HitQuarters.com. It states his grandfather James Reese Europe was the first black jazz artist to play Carnegie Hall and that his father, Robert Cotter, played with Nile Rodgersand the late Bernard Edwards in the group Big Apple Band, later known as Chic.

BandSpace.com states that Jared's debut album, "The Album B4 the Album," was released in 2005 and described it as a mix of midtempo sounds and slow jams.

In an October 2005 interview on singersroom.com, Cotter said that his musical influences include Stevie Wonder, Donny Hathaway and Brian McKnight, and that he writes 95 percent of his material.

Cotter's current music can be sampled on his MySpace.com page.

TRACK YOUR FAVORITE FINALISTS

Ever wonder where the most Idol finalists and semi-finalists live? Is it in your state? The South, North, East or West? According to another story by Ronnie Gill in Newsday, a new Web site will tell you all that and more.

The MapMuse.com "American Idol" site is an interactive locator map of "American Idol" finalists and semifinalists from all five seasons. On the site you'll find a map of the U.S. mainland with pinpoints for each finalist. Click on a part of the map to zoom in on a specific area. Easier still, or for finalists who reside outside the mainland, such as Hawaii's Jasmine Trias, you can use the site's windows to enter a city, state or ZIP code.

We typed in "Long Island, N.Y." and a map of the Island appeared with the message "2 American Idol Finalists on this map." The message also instructed us that we could either hover our mouse over the designated points for an overview of the finalists or click on them for more detailed information.

Sure enough, hovering over the first point revealed a photo of Joseph Murena, the town he comes from (Smithtown), age at the time he competed (26), the season he competed (four) and his outcome (voted off 3/25/05). We found similar information for season 5 finalist Kevin Covais of Levittown.

We then clicked on each point for more details and found we could choose to update information. The detail pages also contain links to the finalist's page on the official "American Idol" site, a preset Google search window with the finalist's name, and the current weather conditions for the contestant's town.

MapMuse.com says the idea is for "American Idol" fans to build upon the site by adding descriptive information about their favorite idols. Once a visitor suggests a change, it is reviewed for appropriateness and then posted within a few hours. Adding information is free.

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