'My December' First Listen

Roger Friedman of Fox News writes that more than a week before its scheduled release, Kelly Clarkson's controversial album, "My December" is available all over the Internet.

I downloaded it quickly last Friday and have been listening to it ever since — not necessarily because it's so good, but to evaluate its inherent oddness.

"My December," you see, as has been discussed now in this column and other places, is not what you'd expect from the winner of "American Idol."

That can be a good thing and a bad thing. We all applaud ambitious moves, and Clarkson certainly wants to spread her wings. Her famous quote now is that the songs are by her and about her. She says something to the effect of "pardon me if my life bores you."

Clarkson, however, is not a very experienced lyricist. So the pain she is trying to convey on "My December" is often not very effectively rendered. Unlike confessional songwriters like Carly Simon or even Alanis Morissette, Clarkson doesn't have a grasp of metaphor. She is more of an in-your-face songwriter. She also doesn't know when to stop beating a dead horse.

The result is a very mixed bag. The music on "My December" was supposedly written by members of her band. Some of it isn't bad. A couple of tracks, "Yeah" and "Don't Waste Your Time," stand out as memorable rockers with decent hooks. "Be Still" is an effective ballad. But the lyrics, especially on "Time," deteriorate pretty quickly into an accusatory tone that permeates the album.

It's not that I'm unsympathetic. Clarkson obviously was in a bad relationship with an abusive alcoholic. We get it; it's all over the album, from "Sober" to "Chivas." In "Yeah," which is saved by the band, she warbles: "I know where I've loved somebody more than what you'll give to me."

It's clear she's mad, bitter and resentful. But a lot of it seems like high school whining. Isn't art supposed to be about something more than this?

With "December" already downloading, Clarkson and her record label, RCA, have some obvious problems. But even worse for Clarkson is the news that her tour has been cancelled right on the heels of her firing manager Jeff Kwatinetz.

I still think that RCA will add a couple of tracks to "My December" in a second edition early in the fall. A real hit should emerge then, followed by a tour. But what a long way around to do something fairly simple.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAUL McCARTNEY

Paul McCartney is 65 today, and even though this is not "American Idol" news, we just had to mark the occasion. Everybody's gonna dance tonight!

A NIGHT IN ATHENS WITH CONSTANTINE MAROULIS

The Daily Tribune reports that Constantine Maroulis will take the stage twice during Opa Fest 2007, "A Night in Athens," on the grounds of St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church in Troy, Mich.

The event runs Friday through Sunday, June 22-24. Maroulis will perform for free at 7 p.m. Saturday and 3 p.m. Sunday.

This year, about 10,000 people in three days are expected to attend the festival at the church at 760 W. Wattles Road in Troy.

TAYLOR HICKS VIDEOS AT ELVIS FEST 2007

Watch video of Taylor Hicks singing "Soul Thing" at Elvis Fest 2007 in Tupelo, Miss.:


There are other videos (sorry, even worse quality), but Taylor freaks might want to take a peek here.

MOM SETS JORDIN SPARKS' BIRTH PLACE STRAIGHT

The Staten Island Advance says that despite hundreds of reports to the contrary,
"American Idol" Jordin Sparks wasn't born on Staten Island.

Seriously.

On Dec. 22, 1989, Jodi Wiedmann gave birth to a healthy baby girl -- 8 pounds, 8 ounces, if family memory serves. The obstetrician was Dr. Charles Clinch. The location was St. Joseph's Hospital in Phoenix, and, cue the "Idol" theme music -- a star was born.

The 17-year-old Ms. Sparks earned support from Staten Island's "Idol" fans during her rise to the top of the Fox-TV series this season.

No doubt, Staten Island would be happy to claim her.
But Ms. Sparks' mother tells the Advance: "I can definitely confirm that Jordin and I were at St. Joe's in Phoenix on the morning of Dec. 22, 1989!"

When the New York Post reported in April that Ms. Sparks was an Island native, they had it wrong, as did subsequent reports in papers from Virginia to Singapore.

The young pop star, a resident of Glendale, Ariz., did reside in various parts of New York and New Jersey while growing up -- mainly in Ridgewood, N.J., while her father, Phillippi Sparks, played football with the New York Giants.

Today Google links fans to about 700 Web sites that report Ms. Sparks was born on the Island-- including such popular sites as Wikipedia, People and imdb.com.

But -- sad news for local devotees -- they all have it wrong, too.

The Sparks family says they were rebuffed by a Post editor when they called to request a correction.

And they have tried to edit Ms. Sparks' bio on Wikipedia, the Internet encyclopedia that allows anyone to contribute, but they said the Island connection keeps cropping back up.

It's a mistake -- we're taking mom's word for it.

SIMON COWELL'S FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH: TOMATO BATHS

In one of the funniest Simon Cowell stories we've read to date, Mike Walker in the National Enquirer claims that Simon Cowell bathes in cherry tomatoes and sparkling water to stay looking young.

Walker says that Cowell spends hours soaking naked in a fab concoction he calls "Tomate Cerise!" Simon orders Italian cherry tomatoes flown in from Europe, smashes them to pulp in a big bucket -– then pours the bright-red goop into a bathtub filled with Perrier water.

Walker claims that Simon says the tomato enzymes not only eradicate age spots and keep the skin looking young – they even jazz up the metabolism.

Walker adds that his spy says Cowell's housekeepers aren't happy about swabbing pureed goo out of the master tub, and keep muttering stuff like "damn tomato soup!"

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© 2007

'Hey Paula': This Is Reality?

With the weirdness and controversy that swirls around "American Idol" judge Paula Abdul, it's hard to consider anything in her life real, yet her new show, "Hey Paula," is described by the network as a "30-minute docu-drama ... [that] provides an unfiltered [hmmm, we doubt that], real-life look at the 'American Idol' judge, entrepreneur, choreographer and multi-platinum artist, giving insight and context to Abdul's much-reported on professional and personal life." It premieres June 28 on the Bravo cable channel at 10 p.m.

MovieWeb.com says that "Behind the songs, behind the dance, the spotlight, and far away from Simon Cowell, there's the real woman behind the headlines -- pop icon Paula Abdul.

" 'Hey Paula' paints a three-dimensional portrait of Abdul and her 'Crazy Cool' world - from the stressed celebrity and tough business woman to the comedic prankster. Viewers will see Abdul up close 24/7 as she battles insomnia during the much-talked-about 'American Idol' satellite media tour interviews; bumps heads with QVC execs; develops her own fragrance and plays practical jokes on her assistants. Through it all, Abdul has a knack for being able to laugh along the way. On her singing career, she quips, 'Last time I had a hit record, Bill and Hillary were having sex ... that's a long time ago.' And Abdul jokes about Cowell with a QVC security guard, 'If someone comes that has dark hair, that looks like Beavis and Butthead haircut and has a tight shirt ... and he has a British accent, do not let him in.'

"Additionally, the seven-episode series features the posse of people essential in keeping the Abdul empire running smoothly. The 'Hey Paula' players include Daniel, her hairstylist and BFF, who always promises a good time [why is it that everyone's BFF in Hollywood is their hair stylist?]; Jeff, her longtime (and now former) publicist of seven years, who protects her like a sister; Kylie, her full-time wardrobe assistant, who keeps Abdul looking her best; and Abdul's kids ... her four Chihuahuas - Bessie Moo, Chomps, Thumbelina and Tulip.

"In the first episode of 'Hey Paula,' a whirlwind 48 hours lies ahead for the star and 'Team Abdul.' As Abdul gets red-carpet ready for the Grammys, her Chihuahua Chomps chomps down on a loaned million dollar antique ring, much to the chagrin of the overprotective jewelry rep, and a call from the Bratz filmmakers creates additional drama. Immediately after the awards, Abdul changes out of her Valentino gown in the car, while making a mad dash to catch a red eye, and nearly misses the flight. But the day's not over and there's no time to rest for an exhausted Abdul. Landing in Philly, she heads over to QVC to see her jewelry designs, only to find they're not what she envisioned. If it's not up to par, Abdul's not putting her name behind it. With just a few hours before the live QVC show, she voices her concerns. Will the changes to Abdul's jewelry line be made in time? Just an average day in the life of Paula Abdul.

"Abdul's off to NYC in the second installment of 'Hey Paula' for a jam-packed week filled with events, meetings and press. Abdul and her publicist Jeff begin the trip at the annual dinner for the Young Menswear Association Fashion Scholarship Fund for Parson School of Design, where she's presented with the Fashion Icon Award by Tim Gunn - a true honor, since Abdul's graced the worst dressed list more than once. But by the time she gets to her hotel, it's 4 a.m. With just two hours of sleep, Abdul attempts to grab some shut-eye after a meeting with her perfume manufacturers, but ends up losing a battle with insomnia, and continues to miss night after night of sleep. A full week of meetings later, with no zzz's, combined with catching the flu, Abdul must get through a series of satellite interviews to promote 'American Idol.' And this is when she makes headlines once again."

Yup, sure sounds like a real life to us ... about as real as her boobs.

WHAT IS KELLY CLARKSON LISTENING TO?

"I love Brandi Carlile," the pop star enthused to Rolling Stone magazine. "Her voice makes me so happy." Clarkson went on to tell Rolling Stone about her thing for Miranda Lambert, a 2003 finalist on American Idol-like country talent show "Nashville Star." "She's a country girl but she is so great," Clarkson gushed. [Lambert’s song] 'Drytown' reminds me of the town I grew up in."

Have you heard Clarkson's latest release from her upcoming album "My December"? It's called "Sober" and you can check it out right here:



THE TRUTH ABOUT JORDIN'S VOCAL COACH

MSNBC says that not everyone is happy with what is coming out of Jordin Sparks' mouth. Her former singing coach, Melissa Black, is angry that Jordin never mentioned that she has had formal training.

"Jordin was just 14 years old when she studied with me in 2004," the vocal coach said. "Her mom, Jodi Sparks, and her grandmother, Pam Wiedmann -- who acts as her manager -- found me on the Internet. We were together for nine months of intense vocal work, with Jordin taking one 30-minute class a week at $25 per class... I knew she wouldn't take long to perfect her craft because she was so good."

While there's certainly nothing wrong with perfecting a skill in order to attain your dream, Black's claim could be considered a downer for those fans who thought Sparks' vocal abilities were au naturel. According to Idol's website, when Sparks was asked if she had "any formal singing training" prior to appearing on the show, she simply answered "No."

Needless to say, Black reportedly said it "hurt for a week" to hear Sparks claim that she never had any formal training.

"Jordin didn't have to mention my name, but at least acknowledge you had training," she told Star. "But I've moved on, and I hold my head up high."

However, this message appears on Black's personal Web site:

"It should be known out of respect for Jordin and her family, I will not be speaking to the media concerning her lessons. I love all my students and will never intentionally try to harm them in anyway. I want to apologize to Jordin and the Sparks family for any negitive press that has been linked to me. I did not contact the STAR about her lessons. Someone who thought I deserved to be mentioned for my work with Jordin and other students did. I personally have not said anything negitive, but have been caught up in a crazy media storm." MB

Black's site also states that her "Celebrity client list includes Mary Hart of Entertainment Tonight, Tony Award winner Kristin Chenowith, singer Tabitha Fair of the Amy Grant Band and Kristin Willits Richardson - wife of Backstreet Boy, Kevin Richardson.

"Former award-winning students include Leah Moyer and Jordin Sparks (Star Search finalists) and Breeanna Coronado - up and coming country singing star."

Want to study with Black? Her price has risen to $30 a class.

UNDERWOOD MATCHES COUNTRY DEBUT SALES RECORD

Carrie Underwood has become only the second country star to reach score 6 million sales with a debut album.

The former "American Idol" winner's first release, "Some Hearts," was certified sextuple platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (Riaa). Underwood's feat is only matched by LeAnn Rimes' 1996 album Blue.

The "Jesus Take the Wheel" singer's hit album, which was released in November 2005, has spent a total of 26 weeks at number one of the Billboard Top Country Albums chart.

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© 2007

Phillippi Sparks: A Proud Father Speaks

On Thursday, the day after Jordin Sparks, won the Season 6 "American Idol" championship, Newsday spoke former New York Giants player Phillippi Sparks, about his daughter's win the night before:

"Whoo!" Phillippi Sparks said. "Whoo!"

This was at noon Pacific Time yesterday, and he was speaking by phone from Los Angeles. "I haven't woken up yet," he said. "Actually, I didn't go to sleep."

Later, Sparks admitted to a two-hour nap, but all the dreaming he needed unfolded in real life.

Wednesday night, his daughter, Jordin, was crowned "American Idol" of 2007 upon winning a televised singing competition you might have heard about.

It was the culmination of a whirlwind that left the 17-year-old vastly more famous than her father ever was as a borderline star cornerback for the mostly dreary Giants of the mid-1990s.

Sparks, 38, was happy to be a supporting actor in the drama.

"You know what's cool about it?" he said. "The cool thing is that I'm her dad. That's all that matters. I was a little bit famous, but this? I'm just speechless right now, man."

In the early rounds of Idol, Sparks watched Jordin sporadically, spending time at home in Arizona with his 15-year-old son, P.J., whom he called "a very smart, intelligent young man who loves sports and who will be famous, too."

Once the field was whittled to 12, Sparks and his wife, Jodi, were regulars in the studio audience and on TV. Fox does not allow contestants' relatives to do one-on-one interviews for fear of providing an edge in the voting, but yesterday he was free to talk - and to bask in the moment.

"I'm just so blessed and honored to be a part of my daughter's life," he said. "It's overwhelming. She just hugged me and wouldn't let me go and was like, 'Dad, hold me, hold me, hold me.' You can imagine how I felt. I couldn't hold it back, bro. Some tears came out. Unbelievable."

Jordin's parents met while Sparks played at Arizona State. The Giants drafted him in the second round in 1992. He played for them through 1999, then spent a season with the Cowboys before retiring.

The Giants made the playoffs only twice in his time, including the notorious first-round collapse against the Vikings in 1997 during which Sparks had a heated confrontation with a teammate on the field. He said in advising Jordin before the last two rounds that he used football analogies.

"I told her the final three was like the playoffs," he said. "The final two, babe, is something I couldn't get to but you can: the Super Bowl."

(The Giants got there the season after Sparks left.)

Sparks has been coaching defensive backs at Glendale Community College, where he played, as well as his son's youth team.

And? "And that's about it," he said, adding he hopes to play on the celebrity golf tour.

Handicap? "I'm not letting that out," he said. "I'm not great, but I am good enough to beat most of the guys on that tour."

Sparks said even after seven years, the transition to retirement from the NFL is not easy. "I still want to play, every day," he said. "You have to let it go. But everybody lets it go in their own time."

Despite her age and Idol's presumed mission to discover unknown talent, Jordin is a seasoned performer with a long resume, and she has been home schooled since last year. Her father said she is levelheaded and he is not concerned fame and fortune will spoil her.

"No, if you see her, and I'm sure you have, she's incredible, a normal teenager," he said. "She's just a young lady who happens to have a beautiful voice. She's blessed.

"Like she said, 'Why me, Lord?' "

LISTEN TO JORDIN'S FIRST RELEASE
FULL VERSION OF 'THIS IS MY NOW'

The player below has streaming audio of the full version of Jordin Sparks first release, "This Is My Now." See if you like. It can be purchased at iTunes or at AmericanIdol.com.



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© 2007